


You Ruined Me

by LuckyDucky20



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Humor, Bad Decisions, Badass Rey, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Drama, F/M, Jedi Rey, Knights of Ren have joined the party, Kylo Ben needs to do some groveling, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Love/Hate, Maybe Kylo Ren is a little bit nice, Mild Smut, Potential Pregnancy, Protective Finn, Protective Poe Dameron, Revenge, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey is doing Rey, Romance, Secret pregnancy, Sometimes a boy just needs his mommy, The Force Ships It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 07:03:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 81,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14910641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyDucky20/pseuds/LuckyDucky20
Summary: Post-The Last Jedi Reylo story: What happens when the Millennium Falcon doors close? Kylo Ren has a punishment in mind for Rey's betrayal, but can he follow through? Will Rey's love for Ben win out? How will Rey's resistance friends handle her connection with the enemy? Can the resistance rebuild? Questions, questions...





	1. Revenge

**Author's Note:**

> Hello fellow Reylos! Rey and Kylo Ben will not get out of my head! I've always liked Star Wars, but have never been a full on fan- that was more my dad and older brother! I really enjoyed The Force Awakens and was a Damerey shipper because they're pretty and I can be shallow like that. ;-) Then The Last Jedi took that notion and threw it out the window! I'm all in for Reylo. I'm a sucker for a bad boy and a good girl relationship. I'm not the best writer- I'm more of a math/science person- but I thought I'd share my Reylo love. Who loves angsty romantic dramedy? Let's get this party started!

Kylo Ren. Master of the Knights of Ren. Supreme Leader. A few fear-inducing titles he had. So then why did he, kneeling where the girl he loved could see him, feel so helpless? The object of his affection only saw him through their force bond, but that didn't make their exchange any less real. He watched as she pressed the door to his father's ship closed. Rey. Turning her back on him, again.

Love. It was an useless emotion. It had caused a momentary lapse of judgement. However, it had also allowed him to usurp Snoke and take the power over the galaxy for himself. Was that his main objective? No. But after everything that happened, he needed to focus on the positive outcomes.

Love. His mind kept coming back to that word. Why had he expected anything different from love with her. According to past experience, love and pain were practically synonymous to him. And betrayal. Oh, how she had betrayed him! He had opened himself up to her. Killed for her. Her. A lowly scavenger. Someone whose own parents sold in favor of booze money. She had tossed him aside in favor of her precious traitorous friends. Refused his proposal and attempted to kill him by summoning her lightsaber.

Rage. His old friend, a familiar emotion came seeping back in. Rage was more comfortable than love. More welcome. It helped call the darkness to him. It gave him strength. Rey. Through his rage, he would make her answer for her betrayal.

He had learned something. Saw something she had not. And he would use it against her. He would be true to his word to his uncle. He had told Luke that he would destroy her. That was now his goal. Revenge for a broken heart. If she thought him a monster, he'd show her how monstrous he could be!

Kylo Ren made his way back to his ship with a new purpose.

"We make our way to Jakku," he announced.

"Jakku?" one of the officers questioned. "Shouldn't we go after the remnants of the Resistance?"

Kylo promptly broke the man's neck using the force. Mercy was something he no longer possessed, and he would be sure that no one would second guess his commands.

Turning to the next in command he simply stated, "Jakku."

"Y-yes, Supreme Leader," the man stammered. "Setting coordinates now."

"Good," he commented. "I will be in my quarters. Do not disturb me unless absolutely necessary or until we reach Jakku."

And with his last orders made, Kylo Ren swept from the room to formulate his plan.

 

Once the door of the Falcon was sealed shut, Rey felt the familiar sting of her tears silently escape down her cheeks. She hastily wiped them away with her sleeves and refused to think about what had taken place over the past few hours... days. She felt like a stupid girl. Naive, too trusting, and desperate for love.

Love. She would not deny, if only to herself, that she loved him. Ben. Kylo. It didn't matter. That man understood her, and she understood him. Well, she thought she had. Two lonely souls finding peace and companionship in each other. She was so certain that she could turn him. She should have listened to Luke.

This is not going to go the way you think. Those words haunted her. It had not gone the way she had thought. It went better. And worse.

She had wanted so badly to take his hand. Accept his offer. Just to be with him. Just to be loved and to love him in return. It took everything within her to turn away. Away from her first love and towards a broken heart. He, of course, was not blameless in this.

As she made her way down the hallways on the Falcon, Rey began to wonder if he had actually loved her. Or had he used her, preyed on her naivety to do exactly what he had wanted her to do. Help him kill those with the power over the galaxy so he could seize it for himself.

She pushed those thoughts away, buried them deep so that she could return to her friends as the optimistic, hopeful Rey they needed her to be. She took a cleansing breath before entering the room full of strangers and friends. Rey took a seat next to General Leia and watched the remaining resistance fighters discuss possible plans of action.

Rey had turned her attention to Finn, watching him care for his new friend. She loved Finn but it wasn't in the same way that she loved Ben. That's how she knew her love for Ben was different. Something she had never experienced.

Leia interrupted her thoughts by taking a seat next to her. "Luke is gone," Rey told her with certainty. "I felt it. But it wasn't sadness or pain. It was peace and purpose."

"I felt it too."

"How do we rebuild the rebellion from this?"

"We have everything we need." After a moment Leia added, "I feel that I must apologize."

"Apologize? I don't understand. For what?" Rey asked a bit nervously.

"My family has only put you in danger and caused you pain," Leia explained. "You are just an innocent girl, and the two grown men who should have protected you failed." Leia patted Rey's arm sadly. "I don't want to even think about all my son has done to you... You must be very weary."

Rey hadn't really had time to feel weary since this journey began. Though, now that she thought about it, she wasn't even quite sure what day it was. How long had she been gone from Jakku? She had no idea.

"Quite a lot has happened," Rey admitted. "Though, I wouldn't say that either Han or Luke failed in protecting me. I don't need protection..." She explained, then added because she felt the need to talk, "sometimes I feel that I both need to save and to be saved... that I'm both the hero and the damsel. I've been alone for so long that I haven't had my feelings affected by others. Now that I've felt all of this love, love I've never known, I finally feel like I belong somewhere."

Leia smiled warmly. "We're happy to have you with us and proud to call you an ally."

"Though, I will admit, my whole life has changed because of both the Resistance and the First Order, Luke and Kylo..." And Finn and Poe and BB8 and Leia, but Rey didn't feel like listing of everyone.

"Please have a rest," Leia urged her. "I have a feeling you'll need your strength in the near future."

Rey nodded but hesitated. She felt the need to tell Leia everything. Eventually she decided against that, for now, and made her way to a slightly more quiet part of the ship. She settled down for a rest. Determined to not think about him.

That, of course, was easier said than done. Every time she shut her eyes she saw his outstretched hand, pleading eyes, trembling lips, and heard his desperate "please." Or... she'd see the hungry look on his face as he killed the last Praetorian guard, keeping his dark eyes on her. Or... she'd remember their closeness in the elevator, in her hut. She knew she already missed him. Missed what could have been.

Rey once again tried to clear Ben from her mind. As she drifted off to sleep, she could feel the force surround her. She heard the whisper of words spoken in anger, the force gently warning her of the change of light versus dark in her opponent. The words spoken by him: Shoot that piece of junk out of the sky. No quarter, no prisoners. I'll destroy her. He sounded dead-set on killing her. With these words in her head, she finally found sleep.


	2. Uninjured

Rey woke up on the cold hard floor. Gone were her grimey clothes in favor of a completely impractical and all too revealing white nightgown. She took in her surroundings, immediately noticing that she was no longer on the Millennium Falcon. Had they landed already? Who had moved her? Who had changed her clothes? Why was everything black?

"Hello?" She called into the darkness. It seemed to swallow up the sound immediately.

She pushed herself up off of the shimmery black floor and squinted to try to see something, anything, in the darkness that surrounded her. It was no use. Everything was black. The only source of light, she realized, seemed to be coming from her.

Rey swallowed down her fear and called out again. "Hello? Is anybody there?"

As a response she heard very faint whispering, but she couldn't make out a single word.

"Please speak louder or come closer. I can't hear you."

The whispers did seem to come closer, but she didn't sense a physical being approaching.

 _He's coming. He's coming. She finally made the words out. Run. Run._ They told her.

"I don't understand..." She whispered back.

 _He's coming. He's coming. Run. Run._ The whispers urged her. She could almost feel wisps of breathe on her skin.

_Run NOW!_

Rey still didn't understand, but when someone warned her to run, she ran. Bunching her nightgown in a hand, she started to run. She couldn't see at all where she was going and hoped to not run into anything. Although she was in the pitch dark, she sensed that she wasn't in a room. There was the floor beneath her but all around her felt like open space. Nothingness.

Finally, Rey collided with what seemed to be a soft wall. She was knocked back off her feet. Since the only light was emanating from her, she could easily see the obstacle in her path. Looking up, she gasped. Ben was in this nothingness as well.

He appeared to be as shocked as she was, but he reached out his hand, as if by reflex, to help her up. Rey timidly took his hand, and he pulled her to her feet. They studied each other for a moment before she could no longer take the silence.

"What is this? Did you do this?!" She asked, trying not to sound like she was accusing him of any wrongdoing.

"No," he replied simply, still studying her.

"Where are we?"

Ben didn't answer her. His eyes were still roaming over her, too intensely in her opinion. This made her feel a bit exposed in her ridiculous nightgown, causing her to wrap her arms around herself to block some of his view.

"Why are you the only source of light?" He finally questioned, his eyes meeting hers.

The look in his eyes unnerved her. It reminded her of when he had interrogated her on Starkiller Base. No familiarity. No softness. Just an almost wild hunger for knowledge.

Rey took a step back, away from him before she answered, "I don't know."

Ben took a few slow steps to close the small distance between them. His eyes locked on hers, and she could not look away. He brushed her hair behind her shoulders, then his left hand trailed to her shoulder and down her arm while his right rested on her cheek. The look on his face changed to an almost fascination as he touched her. Rey was too afraid to move. To push him away. Something wasn't right, and for whatever reason she knew to let him go through these motions.

Rey had never been afraid of him. Even at his most Kylo Ren of moments. However, there was something off about this interaction. This erie feeling began to build and the whispers returned.

_He has you now. He has you. Don't let him in. Don't let him in._

Rey waited for Ben's reaction but it didn't come. He apparently couldn't hear the whispers. She tried to pulled away from him, but this just caused him to grip her upper arms tightly to prevent her from going anywhere.

"You really are beautiful, Rey," his voice was low, and though he complimented her, he sounded dangerous.

"You're hurting me," she whispered, indicating his bruising grip on her arms.

"Good," he told her, pulling her closer to his body.

Rey tried to fight him, but it was no use. He was too strong and there was no summoning the force in this place.

"You're not getting away from me again," Ben told her. "You're mine."

Anger suddenly surged through her. "I don't belong to anyone," she practically spat at him.

"Very good. Release your anger. Let go!" He ordered her, ignoring her words and focusing on her emotions.

Ben loosened his grip, but it was only so he could move one hand to her lower back and the other to her throat. Rey sucked in a breath, expecting him to squeeze her throat at any moment. When he did not she let out the breath slowly.

Rey decided to play this game with him. "Why do you want me?" She questioned.

"I need your light," he answered, sounding almost desperate.

Ben released her throat and slid his hand to the base of her head, at the same time he pressed her into his body.

Rey knew what was coming. She was terrified. And curious. And tempted. She unconsciously tilted her head back to look up at him and immediately felt his lips crash into hers...

 

Rey sat bolt upright and gasped. She was drenched in sweat. _It was just a dream!_ She ran a hand over her face, letting it linger on her lips.

"Rey?" Poe whispered, noticing she was awake.

"Hhmm?" She whispered back, looking up at him.

"We're starting our descent," he informed her. Poe noticed that she seemed a bit shaken. "Are you ok?"

"Oh. Yeah. Just a bad dream," she forced a smile at him.

He smiled back. "Ok... Just checking. Feel free to join us when you're ready," he stated and left her alone.

Rey glanced around, expecting the force bond to activate at any moment after that dream. Luckily, there was nothing but silence. She decided to gather her few items and rejoin the group, trying her best to rid her mind of the man in black. Again.

* * *

Ben's eyes snapped open. His dream made him uncomfortable. His rage had followed him, but seeing her, just her presence, allowed him to control his emotions. His first instinct was to hurt her, but he found that he physically was unable to do it. Even as the dark whispers begged him to.

_Choke her. Choke her. They had said. Make her suffer. Make her suffer. She betrayed you. Betrayed you. KILL her._

Ben was able to ignore them. Of course, it helped Rey that she looked absolutely stunning, and he couldn't help himself. He needed to see if he could touch her, if he could control his actions in this dream world. He found that he could, to a degree. He would never have attempted to kiss her otherwise.

"Sir," his com crackled, "we're landing on Jakku."

"Excellent," he replied, dragging himself to his feet.

After that dream, he almost didn't know if he could go through with his plan. Almost. He had come too far to turn back now.

* * *

Rey made her way through the small crowd looking for Finn. She wanted to talk to him before being lost in their new home once they landed. They hadn't really had time to catch up after she freed the resistance by making rocks float. She needed her friend.

"Hey," she whispered once she stood next to him. "How's she doing?" Rey asked looking down at Rose.

"Not terrible. Not great. She will need medical attention. A bacta tank would be nice..." Finn quietly told her. "What have you been up to?" He asked, turning his attention to her, genuinely interested.

"Too much to talk about right now..." She smiled at him, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"But, you're ok?" He questioned, worry clear in his voice.

"I am uninjured, if that's what you're asking."

"Uninjured is good."

"What about you? You seem... well, uninjured."

"Physically, yes. But I failed my mission. So, my ego is a bit bruised," he told her honestly. Finn could always be honest with his best friend.

"I guess we have that in common. I failed my mission as well. I may even have made things worse..."

"I'm sure you did everything that you could."

Rey smiled at Finn's blind faith in her. One thing they could each count on was the loyalty they had for the other. They were best friends, and nothing or no one would ever change that.


	3. Confrontation

Leia smiled slightly as she made her way off of the Millennium Falcon and into the breezy night air of Naboo. Her mother's planet. She knew she'd always be welcome here. And though it was an obvious choice for the resistance to recover here, she also knew that Ben wouldn't expect her to make the obvious choice. They would be safe here. At least for a little while.

Rey's mouth hung open as she took in her new surroundings. She had never seen a place so beautiful! The city lights sparkled, and the lush trees swayed gently in the breeze.

Poe watched Rey, amused at her amazement with this new planet. "Come on, kid," he nudged her shoulder with his, "let's go inside. This will all be here for you to explore in the morning."

The group was met by a small group of delegates from Naboo, including the Queen herself.

"Sandrine."

"Leia."

The two royal women greeted each other, taking the other's hands. Queen Sandrine was beautiful. She appeared to be in her late thirties or early forties and had a kind face.

"You are very welcome on Naboo, General," Queen Sandrine began with formalities. "The palace should have enough room for your officers, but we can put up anyone who'd rather stay elsewhere in the Royal Hotel just down the promenade. If you have any injured, we can make arrangements for them as well."

"You are too kind," Leia told her genuinely. "Unfortunately, we do have a few injured, but I think most of my officers will want to join me at the palace."

"Very nice. My staff will be available to assist those staying with us."

"I can't thank you enough for taking us in," Leia expressed her gratitude. "We will not take up anymore of your time tonight. Introductions can wait for the morning, and I think bathing and a good night of sleep will do us all well."

"Rey, you'll be needed to stay here at the palace with Leia. I want to make sure that she has all the protection we can provide for her," Poe said before gathering everyone else.

Rey nodded and entered the palace behind Leia. A royal member of staff led Rey to the quarters she would be staying in.

"There are towels already in the bathroom. Just leave your dirty clothes by the door, and I'll bring you a nightgown and some clothes you can wear for tomorrow- or, rather, later today!" The lady explained and then left her, closing the door behind her.

Rey's eyes were wide and a huge smile spread across her face. The room was the most beautiful room she had ever seen. Everything was lavender, white, and gold. The four-poster bed, to her, was humongous. She didn't want to go further into the room while still wearing her dirty scavenger clothes. She stripped everything off and left it all by the door as instructed, then she sprinted to the bathroom. She had her own personal bathroom! It had a bathtub! She had never had a proper bath before.

Rey took what could be considered the longest bath in the history of baths. Her skin was pruney, but she didn't mind. She was sure that this was the cleanest she had ever been in her whole life. It felt wonderful! She wrapped herself in a large fluffy towel and went back into her room. There was a long-sleeved white cotton nightgown waiting for her on her bed, and a small pile of folded clothes on a side table.

Rey dressed herself in the crisp nightgown and sat at the vanity to try and braid her hair. She had no clue how to do it but thought that maybe it was a skill she could pick up through the force. Alas, that's not how the force worked, and she ended up with her damp hair in a tangled mess.

A quiet knock at the door interrupted her as she brushed the tangles out of her hair. She rose to answer the door, pulling it open just a crack. Rey found Finn on the other side dressed in light gray pajamas.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"Of course!" She smiled and opened the door wider to let him in.

"Your room is way better than mine... I mean, mine's nice but... You get your own bathroom!?"

Rey let out a small giggle. "I sure do! You can use it if you need to. You have to share?"

"Just with Poe, so not too bad. Our rooms are joined by the bathroom. It's not like I have to travel far to bathe or anything..." Finn had been wandering around the room taking everything in and trailed off his part of the conversation when he noticed to broken lightsaber on a desk. "What happened to that?!"

"Well... it- I- it's a...complicated story," she finally settled on something to say. Then she quickly changed the subject, "what happened to... Rose, is it?"

"Yes. Rose." Finn's face held sadness but a small smile threatened to break through. "She saved me," he answered, taking a seat on the edge of Rey's bed. She joined him. "I was going to do something foolish. Try to be a hero for once. But..." His eyes gazed off as he remembered the events. "She saved me." His eyes then met Rey's, and she could swear she felt him grow timid before adding, "She also kissed me."

Rey smiled at him. "Someone's got a crush..." She teased, nudging him with her elbow. Finn smiled back. "The kiss. Was it nice?" She asked, still smiling.

"I mean, it was very sudden, and things were being blown up, and people were dying, and I thought  _we_  were going to die! But, yeah, it was nice," Finn admitted.

"Gee... You're romantic..." Rey commented sarcastically.

"What?! I just said what happened."

"I'm guessing more happened while I was gone for you to have acquired a girlfriend  _and_  fail at a mission..." She smiled, still teasing him.

"What about you? You said you failed too... Any kisses at least?" It was his turn to tease her.

"Definitely not!" She stated, frowning and crossing her arms. "Unless you count the porgs! I kissed some of them." Her smile returned a bit.

"What about that lightsaber?" He brought it back to his original inquiry.

"That's a story for another day. Now, we need to get some sleep while we can!" Rey stood up and pulled Finn up as well. She walked him to the door, they hugged goodnight, and she shut the door, locking it.

Rey couldn't help the urge to take a running start to bellyflop onto her bed. She snuggled her face into the pillows and enjoyed the scent of fresh linens. Rey was mostly asleep when she heard him.

"Comfortable?" Kylo's deep voice tore her from her groggy state.

She scrambled to a seated position in the middle of her bed. "I was..." She replied, locking her hazel eyes with his dark brown orbs. "Is this a dream?" She asked, kind of hoping it was.

"No," he replied carefully. Kylo now wondered if she had been having strange dreams as well. "This is very real," he gestured between them.

Rey huffed out a breath of air. "I really don't want to do this right now."

"That, at least, is something we can agree on..." He commented, coming closer to her bed.

She shifted to a kneeling position, almost ready to run or fight. His eyes were blazing, but so were hers. Both of them reigning in their anger.

Kylo, of course, was the first one to break. "Why did you turn your back on me? Why did you betray me?" He really cut to the chase...

" _Me_  betray _you_?!" She exclaimed incredulously.

"I offered you EVERYTHING!" He growled at her.

"Except to help save my friends!" She countered.

"You  _ungrateful_  little scav-"

"Ungrateful!?" Rey sprung from the bed to face him. "What do I owe you?!"

"Your life! I killed my master for you. All I asked for in return was for you to join me."

"Let's not pretend. You killed your master for  _you_! All you want is power. I was a naive child to think that you could be redeemable!"

Her words stung him. He wasn't quite sure why. It's not like he needed redeeming. "You  _are_  a naive child. You. You think you're so noble and brave and pure! You're nothing but a foolish girl."

Rey sucked in air. His words felt like a slap to the face. Probably because they were true. "I am a foolish girl," she agreed quietly. "I fell for a master manipulator. Tell me, do you think 19 is too young and naive to have someone tinker with their feelings? Get into their head?"

Kylo was silent for a second. He didn't know that she was only 19. He thought she was a bit closer to his age, not ten years his junior. He took a step forward, almost touching her but thinking better of it.

"You went for the lightsaber. You tried to kill me," he stated, deciding to disregard  _her_  statement.

"If I had tried to kill you, you wouldn't be standing here. After the explosion, I found you. You were knocked out, so I took the chance to escape. I only went for my lightsaber because it was  _m_ _y_  lightsaber!" Well, that was partly true. She also went for the lightsaber because she feared his reaction when she refused him. She had to have a way to defend herself.

"You expect me to believe that?! You could have just asked for it back."

"Really? _Really?!_  You would have just given it back to me? Even after I refused your offer... I highly doubt that, dear Supreme Leader." She mocked him with a slight bow.

"You. Are. Infuriating." He told her, his voice low and dangerous.

"You're a liar and pathetic," she spat back.

He had little control over his reflexes. Kylo's hand shot out and grabbed Rey by the throat. Her hands immediately went to his to try to pry him off, silent tears running down her face. The pain in her chest had nothing to do with a physical pain he caused her. She still loved him, but now it was evident that he did not love her. He probably never had.

Kylo's grip on Rey only lasted a few seconds. He immediately felt the mostly foreign emotion of regret. Releasing her he whispered, "I'm sorry." Then their connection severed.

Rey backed onto her bed, staring at the spot he had been. She cursed her traitorous heart, and begged for sleep to come.

On his end, Kylo stared at the hand that had just assaulted Rey. Their interaction made him reconsider his plans for her. However, again, he resolved to stay the course. He had spent too much time, and money, to make his plan a reality to give into his compassion for her now. He clung to her words "liar" and "pathetic" to remind himself that he had made the right decision.


	4. Image

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't always include song lyrics in the intro, but when I do they're 90s/00s pop! You're welcome...
> 
> There is no need to protect me
> 
> It's time that I
> 
> Learn to face up to this
> 
> On my own
> 
> I've seen so much more than you know now
> 
> So don't tell me to shut my eyes
> 
> (The Queen, Ms. Britney Spears "Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman")

* * *

"What. Is this?!" Rey asked, wrinkling her nose and holding a garment out by her fingertips.

"It's a dress, dear," the palace staff lady- Anna or Ava or something with an 'A'- told her gently. "Princess, or rather, General Leia requested it."

"Where are my regular clothes?" Rey inquired, sounding a little desperate.

"Being cleaned. This will have to do for now until we can get you something... more you," the lady smiled.

Rey tossed the dress on the bed and stared at it. It had buttons and strings and ruffles. She really had no clue how to even begin to understand how to wear this thing!

"It looks like a torture device."

The lady laughed. "I'll help you put it on, if you'd like."

"Can I just wear my nightgown?"

"Sure... if you want to insult your hosts! Now stop being difficult, and let's get this dress on you. This shade of pink will look lovely with your coloring!"

The lady sounded too excited for Rey's liking, but she accepted her help and was out of her room in no time. She headed to the dining room for breakfast. Finn saw her first and stifled a laugh. She punched him in the arm.

"Ow!" He complained.

"You're not allowed to say anything about what I'm wearing."

"It's really terrible," he commented, ignoring her command.

"What did they do to you?" Poe asked, joining their conversation.

Rey crossed her arms and glared at them. She then turned to walk away.

Finn took her arm to stop her. "Sorry. You look... like one of these girly people." He tried to compliment her as he pointed out some of the high class ladies.

"Let's just get something to eat," Rey said flatly, not buying his compliment.

"Did you not sleep well?" Poe asked as they took a seat, figuring that must be the reason she was so grumpy.

"Not particularly... Strange dreams," Rey explained.

"You've been through a lot in such a short period of time. We all have! It's understandable," Finn commiserated with her. "What  _did_  happen when you were gone?" He tried again to get her story out.

"Yeah," Poe chimed in. "How was training with the great Luke Skywalker?"

"Fine," she answered shortly.

"Care to elaborate?"

"No. Not really," she stated. Seeing the dejected looks on their faces, she added, "Not yet. A lot has happened... and I'm still trying to process it all before sharing. Though, when I do, Leia needs to be present... and it needs to be in a tad more formal, and private, circumstances."

"Really?! That serious?" Poe questioned.

"Yep," Rey said, and then stuffed food from the table into her mouth. "Oh, my! What is this? It's amazing!" She asked with a full mouth.

"It's just a pastry, kid," Poe laughed at her.

"Can I just eat these for the rest of my life?"

"They've got practically no nutritional value, Rey. You'd be tired in about an hour, and starving again with all the running around you do!" Finn added, thoroughly amused by his friend.

Rey then grabbed a large, juicy fruit from the table and devoured it. She practically moaned in happiness. "This," she waved the fruit at them, "is amazing too! I'm never leaving Naboo."

Finn and Poe grinned at her. Rey's ability to find pleasure in the simplest things, in the darkest of times, warmed their souls. They immediately felt better just having her around. Poe, for his part, hadn't really spent much time with her, but he could see why Finn was such a devoted friend.

"Good morning, Rey. I hope you slept well," Leia greeted her once she made her way over to the group.

"I did. Thank you," she replied, slightly lying.

"I do not want to interrupt your breakfast, but I do want to formally introduce you to Queen Sandrine."

"Oh!" Rey was a bit shocked. How was it that a nobody like her was going to meet a queen?! "You're not interrupting at all. I can meet her now."

"Excellent." Leia smiled at her warmly. Rey stood and followed her in the direction of the queen, glancing nervously behind her at Finn and Poe.

The guys waved (Finn) and shooed (Poe) her on. She rolled her eyes at them but smiled. Leia led her into a smaller sitting room, where the queen sat having tea with a handful of lords and ladies. Once Leia and Rey entered the room, the guests knew to leave them to their business and filtered out of the room. A young man paused for a second to look Rey up and down before taking his leave.

"Sandrine," Leia addressed the queen, taking a seat in the chair next to her. "This is Rey, the young Jedi I spoke of."

"Aren't you a lovely little thing!" Sandrine exclaimed as Rey blushed, bowing her head. Coming from anyone else, Rey might be annoyed at such a compliment. Though, being called lovely- even if followed by "little thing"- by a queen still did something for her slightly wounded spirit. "Though, I bet you're fierce," she added, giving her a warm smile.

"Rey was able to get some training in with Luke before he passed," Leia shared. "Before that, she beat Kylo Ren in a saber-to-saber fight."

"Really? I knew you were fierce. To beat a dangerous man like that, you must have no fear."

"I wouldn't say that..." Rey began, "it's just- I'm a survivor, I guess."

"Lovely voice as well," Sandrine remarked. "I would say that we'll need to keep the young men away from you, but I'm sure you can handle yourself."

Rey blushed deeper, thinking about men possibly flirting with her made her feel very nervous. This was the first time she had ever been in "civilized" society. Of course there would be more people- men!- her age, that could possibly want to woo her. Her force skills wouldn't really help her for that situation!

"I think that Rey will be too busy to be worried about young men anyway," Leia helped steer the conversation. Rey gave her a grateful smile.

"Yes. I will need to continue my Jedi studies and trainings," Rey confirmed.

"Please feel free to use the library for a quiet place to study, but please train away from the palace grounds. We don't want any lightsaber accidents!" Sandrine joked, but Rey could tell she was also serious.

"Oh, of course," Rey replied, not wanting to go into why she no longer had a lightsaber.

"I will also send Ava to your room with clothes more conducive to training."

"Thank you, Queen Sandrine," Rey said brightly. The thought of slipping back into trousers made her happy.

"Please, Sandrine is fine," she informed her. "Well, let's get to the main reason for this meeting... Rey, you are the hope of the rebellion. It's down to you versus Kylo Ren. People across the galaxy already know who he is. They know he is very powerful with the dark side of the force and someone they all fear. You, however, are filled with light. We need to build your image in contrast to his. People across the galaxy need to know who  _you_  are. They need to know that you have already defeated him once and you can, and will, do it again."

Rey just stared, trying to contain her various emotions. She had never really thought about it coming down to her versus Kylo. There was a part of her that knew Kylo could still choose to be Ben... one day. She wasn't sure she even could fight him again. How do you fight someone you love?

"We will build your imagine using the message of hope, protection, and love to really set you apart from  _him_ ," Sandrine continued on. "I have already set up a few garden parties and twilight dinners to let the people get to know you. With help from me, and Prin-General Leia of course, you will quickly gain allies."

Rey smiled and nodded through the meeting, but her mind was racing. She hadn't really thought about images... the politics of it all. She was a fighter. There was no way, even with use of the force, that she could beat Kylo Ren in a battle of the minds. She was an uneducated scavenger, while he was practically a Prince! This may all turn out to be harder than she thought...

* * *

Rey walked with Finn and Poe through the small wilderness of the palace grounds. They had agreed to go with Rey to explore before they were set to join a meeting with other military minds. She slipped between them, linking an arm through each of theirs.

"I hope they're going to get you more practical clothes..." Finn spoke up as they made their way towards a pretty little pond.

"For training, yes. Sandrine said I could get additional clothing. Though, she wants to work on my 'image'... so I have more frilly dresses in my future, I fear!"

Rey bent down by the water to get a closer look at a flower, when a sudden urge took over Finn. He found that he really couldn't help himself... He took advantage of Rey's position and pushed her into the pond.

She made a little squeak before landing face first in the water. Poe was momentarily horrified but couldn't help himself when Rey emerged laughing- he had to laugh too.

"Oh, you are so going to get it!" Rey warned Finn. She grabbed a fist full of mud and flung it at him. Then she flung some at Poe without warning for laughing.

Pretty soon all three of them were in the pond- splashing, throwing mud, tossing each other around, and laughing. It had been a while since Poe had really had innocent fun, and for Rey and Finn it was a first.

Their juvenile play was interrupted by Captain Connix who had come to retrieve Poe and Finn for their meeting. Now the men were going to have to change, and they quickly ran off leaving Rey behind.

She decided to carry on exploring her new temporary home. She moved further from the palace and deeper into nature. Rey found herself at the top of as small hill covered in long grass. She laid on her side and rolled down the hill. She got to her feet and sprinted to a large, well-canopied tree to enjoy the shade.

"You're wet."

Rey leaned into the tree trunk and looked up. She did not want to look to her right.

"What  _are_  you wearing?!"

"Oh, not you too!" She hadn't wanted to acknowledge him but couldn't help it. Rey turned her head to look at Kylo. He, as usual, seemed to be studying her.

"Did my mother force you into... that?"

"It's what was available to me." That was all the explanation he was going to receive.

Kylo took a step towards her. Rey pushed off of the tree, stood up a bit straighter, and held her ground. He took another step. And another. The silence was almost deafening to Rey. She needed someone to speak, but she wasn't ready for it to be her. Soon he stood directly in front of her, mere inches separating them.

"Rey..." He breathed, his gloved hand pushing back a strand of her wet hair. She closed her eyes, fighting the urge to touch him.

"Don't," she whispered, swatting his hand away. She looked up into his eyes and tried to read him. His eyes usually held so much emotion. They were blank, closed off to her.

"You have dirt on your face," he told her quietly. Kylo's gloved hand found her cheek, wiping the mud away.

"I can't do this right now," she confessed, blushing but not moving away from him.

"Do what?" He asked softly, knowing exactly what she meant.

"This! Whatever  _this_  is! I can't even talk to you... we'll be fighting soon. I'll hurt your  _manly_ feelings. You'll threaten me. Then we'll sever, feeling worse about everything than we did before! So, I'm telling you what I'm telling everyone else. I need time. Time to process everything that has flipped my whole life around. Everything caused by  _you_!" She rampaged at him.

"I'm not going to hurt you, if that's what you're afraid of..."

"You already have."

"And you don't think you've hurt me?!" He narrowed his eyes, his first show of emotion.

"See! The fighting..." She pointed out, turning away from him to leave this conversation.

Kylo grabbed Rey's arm, harder than he intended, and pulled her back to him. "Don't walk away from me. Again."

"Again?  _Again_!? You didn't really give me a choice- an easy choice- the first time!"

"I gave you a choice! I could have easily killed you." Kylo pointed out.

Rey scoffed. "Easily? I don't think it would have been easy for you..."

"You were unarmed. I-"

"That's not what I'm talking about," she interrupted him. "Yes. You, physically, could have easily killed me. But your head, your heart, wouldn't let you."

Kylo narrowed his eyes again at Rey, loosened his grip on her, but pinned her between himself and the tree. "You're right," he agreed, his eyes flickering from her eyes to her lips and back again. "I can't, and won't be able to bring myself to hurt you."

The silence hung between them as they searched each other's eyes for emotions. Rey saw flickers of emotion come through the wall he had up, and she knew she was doing very little to hide any of her emotions from him.

Kylo was at war within himself. Part of him, a very small part, but it was still there, wanted to hurt her. Most of him wanted to kiss her. The logical, if it could even be called logical, part of him won out.

"Make no more mistakes, Rey," he began his warning to her. "I will search for you. I'll find you. I won't hurt you, but I will defeat you. I'm going to make you wish that you had accepted my offer..." Kylo leaned forward and placed a kiss on her temple. Then he was gone.

Rey's fingers pressed against where his lips had just been, and she let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. If only he knew, if only she was brave enough to tell him, that she had wanted to take his hand. To choose him. She just couldn't. She had too much love for everyone. He couldn't have all of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to give a quick update for the kind followers of my little story. I want to thank my reviewers and those who have followed this story thus far. I will go ahead and apologize for any missed autocorrects that my kindle provides... I do proofread, but some mistakes slip by!


	5. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is long (for me). A lot happens! This really could have been two or so chapters, but I had a hard time cutting it off- and I cut a bit out! The next update may take a bit longer, so enjoy this!
> 
> *Time for a pop song!*
> 
> I can't be with anyone
> 
> Since I felt our worlds collide
> 
> It's like I almost died
> 
> They way you make me feel
> 
> I'm changing, got me breaking down inside
> 
> Can't you see, you ruined me...
> 
> I don't wanna be in love
> 
> I don't wanna feel this way
> 
> All I wanna do is leave
> 
> But all I can do is stay
> 
> Nights and days go by
> 
> And I can't wait to touch your face, again
> 
> You ruined me for life
> 
> (Our title "You Ruined Me" JC Chasez, other dude in NSYNC)

 

* * *

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren sized up the...  _creature_  before him. Unkar Plutt. Kylo had a complicated, at best, relationship with his parents, but he still could not imagine the type of people who would leave their child on such a planet with this insolent Crolute.

Unkar Plutt had not wanted to meet with anyone, much less someone who was interested in discussing his best scavenger. However, once it was known that the interested party was the Supreme Leader himself, Plutt was more amenable.

"Thank you for agreeing to this sudden audience," Kylo began diplomatically. "I wish to learn about the fugitive girl named Rey. I understand that she was left here as a child with you?"

"Yes, Supreme Leader," Plutt replied. "She was my best scavenger. She was quick and could fit into small, tight spaces. Quite clever for a filthy little urchin..."

"Has she always been so... troublesome?" Kylo questioned, staying calm despite Plutt's insults toward Rey.

"She has," Plutt confirmed. "When she was young, I had to put her in her place many times. She became more agreeable after a while. Which is why I was surprised that she would befriend that deserter, take the droid, and steal my ship!"

"That  _ship._  Was my father's," Kylo informed him harshly, trying to rein in his anger.

Plutt slightly bowed in fear. "Supreme Leader, I did not know."

"I'm finished with all of these niceties. There are things you know about the girl that  _I_  want to know. I've seen them in her head, but she has forgotten. I plan on taking advantage of this information." He explained. "Now, shall we do business?"

"Of course, Supreme Leader. I will do all I can to assist you."

"Very good. That is all I ask."

* * *

Rey, damp and covered in drying mud, ran up the steps and into the palace foyer. Her goal was to make it to her room for clean clothes. That, and to be alone. Her meeting with Ben- Kylo- left her feeling raw and emotional. He seemed to be making her feel that way a lot lately. Rey fought back tears, keeping her head down, as she made her way toward her room.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here... the Jedi wannabe," a man announced, stepping in front of her to block her path. Rey recognized him as the young man sizing her up when she went to meet Sandrine.

The man looked to be around her age, and was with two other young men. All three of them were well-groomed and their presence screamed  _nobility_.

"Get out of my way," she demanded softly, her gaze still on the floor. Rey from Jakku, knowing when to act demure enough to get by.

"How dare you give me orders, you filthy little scavenger!" The man replied angrily, not buying her act. "Leia may clean you off and dress you up, but we see through you. They may be able to take the girl out of the filth, but they'll never take the filth-" he brushed dried mud off of her shoulder- "off of the girl."

"She  _is_  quite pretty. Even  _you_  have to agree, Tristan," one of the cronies admitted, running a finger down her arm.

"Don't touch me!" She warned, finally meeting each of their gazes defiantly.

"Ooh, she's spirited too," the second friend chimed in.

Rey rolled her eyes at them. "Do you three really want to mess with me?! I've beaten stronger men than you lot..."

"Of course, she wants to fight. Some girls just don't know their place," Tristan continued his bullying. "This is  _my_ aunt's palace. You show some respect to your superiors!" He then promptly smack-grabbed Rey's ass.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" a familiar voice bellowed.

Tristan immediately backed off of Rey and began to spout nonsense about her threatening and then attacking them. Poe hurried to Rey and pulled her protectively behind him.

"You three little shits are full of just that! What will your Queen say about you harassing a young woman under her protection. I believe she'd probably not take it well..."

"It's your word against ours," Tristan pointed out.

"How about you get on your way and NEVER even look at her again, and I'll THINK about not telling Sandrine..." Poe bargained.

The young men looked from Poe to Rey, which was more of a glare, and walked away muttering to each other.

"Are you ok?" Poe asked, giving her a protective side-hug.

"Yes. Thank you. I'm fine," she said, gently shrugging from his embrace.

"You are not fine..." Poe saw right through her. "At least let me walk you to your room," he offered. She nodded her acceptance.

Poe lingered at her door as Rey entered her room. He wasn't sure of what to do, really. He didn't want to leave her, but he couldn't think of a reason to stay. Luckily, she helped him out.

"Poe, could you please stay for a bit?" She asked, a bit shyly. She didn't want to give him the wrong idea, but she no longer wanted to be alone either.

"Uh... Yeah. Ok." He stepped into her room, closing the door behind him.

"I'm going to change out of this dirty dress. Please make yourself comfortable," she told him, disappearing into the bathroom with dry clothes in her hands.

Poe noticed that Rey's room was much nicer than his. It even had a little sitting area with a couple of chairs, a sofa, and a small table. He decided to take a seat in one of the chairs to wait for her to rejoin him. However, when Rey did emerge from the bathroom in a much simpler (and dry) dress, he stood again.

"That one is much better," Poe broke the silence, pointing at her dress. This one was simple white cotton with capped sleeves and the skirt flared out a bit like her tunic had. Rey, however, didn't like that the dress hit her above the knee. She wasn't used to her long legs being so bare.

"It's much more comfortable, that's for sure! But I still can't wait to get  _my_  clothes back..." She replied, taking a seat on the sofa. She didn't really know how to sit in a short dress, or any dress really, so she tucked her legs under and sat on her heels.

" _Are_  you ok, kid?" Poe asked, getting to the point. "What happened with those guys?"

"Thanks. I  _am_  ok. Just the kind of name calling and sexual harassment that any young woman has to deal with..." Rey gave him a faint smile.

She really was a pretty girl, but Poe kept himself in check. No romantic fancies to take him away from his cause! He also didn't want to mix business with pleasure. He was not sensitive to the force, but he could strongly feel that she was different than anyone he had ever met. Including Kylo Ren. This made him a bit apprehensive around her, but he had to admit that he immediately liked the girl!

"I'm sorry. Young men can be assholes. Especially entitled little pricks like those guys. Why didn't you use your powers, or whatever, to fight them off?"

Rey shrugged. "I'm not sure that it works that way... Anyways, I'm not really in control of my so-called powers. Not completely," she explained.

"Well, I'm relieved that I could help you out. If anything like that happens again, please let me know. I'll happily take care of them myself!" He told her with a smile.

Rey returned his smile. Poe had a lovely smile, and he was very handsome. She could tell that he was the type of man that she could be happy with. The type of man that she  _should_  fall in love with. However, her traitorous heart had been stolen by another. A man she should have  _nothing_  to do with! Poe's opposite. Ben. Kylo.

"I may have to tell Leia..." Poe interrupted her thoughts.

"No. Please. I don't want to cause trouble. I have a feeling I'll be causing enough trouble once I have my talk with Leia..." Rey said, unconsciously frowning.

"Was it really that bad? Training with Luke."

"It wasn't just training with Luke," Rey confessed. "A lot more has happened over the past few days, and it is important that I come clean with certain information. For everyone's safety, really."

Poe was a bit taken aback. He and Rey didn't know each other very well, but she was beginning to open up to him over anyone else. "Do you want to talk about it? I mean, before you tell Leia. I could help you..." He gently placed a hand on hers.

Tears welled in her eyes. Rey hated that she felt like she was going to cry yet again. "Thank you," she told him, fighting her tears. "But I think I'll only be able to go through everything once, so I want everyone- you, Finn, and Leia- together when I dive in. I think it needs to be tonight. It's selfish of me to keep this information from you all any longer."

"I'm not going to lie, you're worrying me a bit.  _Should_  we be worried?" Poe asked, giving her hand a little reassuring squeeze. He didn't want her to close him off now.

"Maybe," was her response.

* * *

Finn joined Rey for dinner, and she filled him In on what a creep the Queen's nephew and his friends were. They sat far away from them, mainly because Finn volunteered to kick their asses. Rey changed the subject to inquire after Rose. Finn explained that she was doing much better, and that he wouldn't be surprised if she was allowed to walk around as early as tomorrow. Though, she'd have to take things slowly.

After dinner was finished, Poe approached the friends with Leia in tow. "Shall we?" he asked.

"Let's go somewhere more private," Leia suggested. "We can go to my chambers."

There were no complaints, so Poe, Finn, and Rey followed Leia to her room. Rey would have offered her room, but the need to run- if she had to- held her back from making the offer. She was happy to go to Leia's room. It was even bigger than hers and had a nice sitting area as well. Each of them took a seat- Leia and Poe on the sofa, Finn on one chair, and Rey took another.

"Where to begin..." Rey gathered her thoughts. She was still deciding on how much to tell. If and what she should omit from her tale.

"Take your time, dear." Leia told her.

"I guess starting at the beginning will be the most helpful... Luke didn't want to help." She stated plainly. "It took a bit of pestering to get him to train me at all, and all I got were three lessons and a lecture on how I turned too easily toward the darkness. He saw power in me. He was afraid."

Rey paused to gauge their reactions. No one seemed too shaken up over this, so she continued. "Training with Luke isn't how I spent the majority of my time..."

Rey felt nervous energy build inside her. She got up to pace a bit. How was she going to say this? How could she correctly explain the force bond. The bond to their enemy. To Leia's son. The bond she still has to him.

Rey took a deep breath and sat back down to continue. "I... I spent time with Ben- Kylo."

This revelation did get a response.

"You  _what_?!" Finn almost exploded into rage at the name.

"Calm down, buddy," Poe spoke up. "Give her time to explain." He tried being supportive, but his eyes also looked thoroughly suprised. Not in a good way. Leia just stared at Rey, desperate for her to continue.

"He wasn't there, really. We developed this weird bond thing. It would come and go, connecting us to where we could see each other and talk to each other. We couldn't see each other's surroundings, though. After each session with him, I grew to know him better. I saw light still in him. I thought I could save him..." Rey had to pause to fight back her tears. "I'm a failure! All I succeeded in doing was helping to kill Snoke, his guards, and handing the throne to Kylo Ren!" She confessed, tears rolling down her face.

"All from talking to him?" Poe wondered out loud.

"No. No, he convinced me- well, not directly- to go help him. So, I did. I left Luke and went to Ben. I was promptly taken to Snoke. After a bit of Snoke's torture, he ordered Ben to execute me. He couldn't do it. He instead killed Snoke, which prompted the fight with the guards. We killed them all." She explained, wiping her tears away.

"And he let you go?" Leia asked, almost hopefully.

"Not exactly... he- he-" the tears started again "he asked me to stay with him. To rule with him. To get rid of it all- the Jedi, the Sith, the Resistance... but I couldn't do it. I couldn't accept him. I needed to save you." Rey looked at Finn, then to Poe and Leia. "I needed to save you all, and he wasn't interested in helping me. Then we fought over my lightsaber, breaking it. The force knocked him out, and I made my escape."

"He was unconscious?! You could have killed him," Finn pointed out.

"No. I couldn't," she admitted. "He saved my life. I just needed to get away."

"Why did he save you?" Leia asked, genuinely interested in her son's random act of kindness towards Rey.

"I don't know," she replied with a shrug. It was only a half lie. She wasn't ready to admit that they had a connection deeper than just the force bond. A connection that most people would call love. Though, she still wasn't sure if it was love for her, the desire for her power, or his own desire to be Supreme Leader that drove Kylo Ren to kill his master.

Leia nodded, content to not push the subject at the moment. "So now he controls all of the First Order," she processed.

"With this bond thing," Poe began, "do you have any idea of how to defeat him?"

"No," Rey stated. "But I feel that I must let you know that we have connected since being here."

"You still talk to  _him_?!" Finn could only express anger at all of this new information. His anger wasn't directed at her, exactly. It was general anger.

"Can you connect with him whenever you want?" Poe asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

"No. It just happens. Though, I've never really tried to purposely reach out to him. So, I guess, I really don't know."

"We could really use this!" Poe directed his comment to Leia before turning his attention back to Rey. "You could get information from him..." His idea taking form.

"I could," she agreed, "but he'd never give anything up to me."

"Yeah, and I'm not comfortable with using Rey as bait!" Finn added in his opinion.

Rey shuddered a bit at the thought of blatantly betraying Ben, even if she didn't agree with him at the moment. She also didn't want to think about what he'd do to her if he found out! The image of his hand around her throat sprung to mind. Rey hurriedly got to her feet.

"Well, that's all. I need to get to bed now. I'm really tired." And with that, she quickly left the room and went to her own before anyone could say anything or stop her.

Once in the safety of her room, she locked the door behind her and leaned her back against it. All that talk of Ben made her desperately want to connect with him. The question of whether or not either of them could initiate the connection made her want to try. She stepped away from the door and into the middle of her room, closed her eyes, and tried to will the bond to open up.

"Rey..." She heard the whisper directly behind her. She turned, and he was there. Even closer than she had thought he was. He was dressed in his full Supreme Leader garb, cape and all.

"I brought you here," she blurted out, needing to explain the new development.

"Did you?" He questioned, and began to circle her. This action made her feel a bit unnerved. It was as if he was appraising her, with his eyes roaming over her whole being. She suddenly remembered how short she thought her dress was and a blush crept to her cheeks. He smirked. "Wanting me twice in one day, how sweet..." He mocked her.

"I just wanted to see if I could control the bond, nothing more," she told him, a bit of attitude in her voice to knock him down a peg or two.

Kylo stopped in front of her, locking his dark brown- almost black- eyes on her. "I'm on Jakku," he stated then gauged her reaction.

Rey was quite surprised. "Why would you go there?"

"I have my reasons," he answered cryptically. Kylo pulled off his gloves and stowed them in the depths of his clothing. "I killed that atrocious Crolute..." He said nonchalantly, another comment made to get a reaction from her.

Her eyes grew wide. "Unkar Plutt? Why?!"

"Do I have to have a reason?"

"Ben!" She exclaimed, still wanting an answer.

"Kylo." He corrected her.

"Whatever!" She was exasperated. "Why did you kill him?" Rey needed to know. She found that she didn't necessarily mind that Plutt was dead, but she worried that Ben was completely back to his old Kylo Ren self- not caring who he killed.

"He was being... difficult. He had something that I wanted and was not very willing to part with it."

Rey wondered what piece of junk Plutt had, that probably wasn't junk at all, that Kylo Ren could possibly have needed to travel all the way to Jakku for... She knew she shouldn't ask him because he wouldn't tell her anyway, but it came out all the same.

"What hidden treasures took you all the way to Jakku?"

"That's none of your concern, scavenger." As he spoke this, Kylo had moved even closer to her. His body almost touching hers. She placed a hand on his chest, as if to prevent him from moving closer. Neither of them broke eye contact.

Rey's whole body tingled at his closeness. She found his behavior strange... Well, even more strange than usual. She couldn't figure out if he was trying to intimate her, come on to her sexually, or something completely different. However, she was both intimated and aroused.

Kylo needed to touch her again. He couldn't take not touching her anymore. Though, he knew he had to cross this bridge carefully. The last thing he wanted was for her to think for one minute that he had forgiven her. He hadn't. He still had grand plans, that were now irreversibly in motion, for her punishment.

Rey felt his fingers lightly trail up her loose arm as his other hand covered hers that was placed on his chest. Again, neither of them dared to look away. He took a few steps forward, making her take the same amount back. She soon felt her back pressed against one of the posters of her bed. He had her pinned. Again. He seemed to like to do this...

"Ben..." She whispered. He thought he detected fear in her voice. This made him move his lips to suppress a smirk.

"Rey..." He whispered back. He sounded hungry.

Rey broke the spell and twirled away from him, climbing onto her bed. She was sure he would not follow her there. "You need to leave," she told him. "If I could summon you here, you can will yourself back!"

This time he did smirk. "Are you afraid of me, Rey?" His question was infused with amusement.

"No! I'm just tired, and I want to go to sleep," she explained, matter-of-factly.

Though, there was something about him that frightened her. It had less to do with the intimation and more to do with the arousal. There was no way she wanted him to figure out how much she wanted him. She didn't mind if he knew she loved him- because that was obvious enough- but she did not want him to have any power over her. Kylo Ren was exactly the type of man to use her desires against her. He already had. He used her loneliness, the need for companionship to lure her to him in the first place.

"Ok," he agreed. "Though, the next time you see me, I may not be as kind."

His warning hung in the air as he vanished. She realized that he probably already knew that they could control the bond a bit. That scared her even more.

* * *

_She was running. Her lungs were burning. Rey was in a forest. It was warm and everything was lush and green. However, all she cared about was getting away. Small branches slapped and scraped at her body, and her long nightgown- the same impractical one she always seemed to wear in these dreams- kept getting caught and tearing against these same branches._

_A dream. There was part of Rey that was aware that this was just a dream, but she still wasn't sure what he could do to her in her dreams. So she continued to run. Away from him. The whispers followed._

Run Rey of Light. He's coming. He's coming. For you. He wants you. Wants you. He'll destroy you. Destroy you. RUN.

_She finally made it through the woods, but on the other side was a cliff's edge. Dark blue waves crashed below. She felt trapped._

_"Rey," he said her name, announcing his presence behind her. He didn't even sound out of breathe._

_She turned slowly around to meet his gaze with a defiant stare._

_Kylo Ren's eyes were practically black and blazing. She wasn't sure what she had done to earn such a look from him, but it sent a chill down her spine._

_"Why do you run from me? There is no escape. We are bonded, you and I. I will always find you."_

_Although his words weren't exactly threatening, the look on his face frightened her. He looked like a predator who was about to pounce on his prey. She glanced over her shoulder to see the waves crashing below. Rey was wondering if it would be worth it to jump._

_She didn't get the chance to try. Kylo outstretched his hand, froze her movements, and pulled her to him using the force. He wound a hand in her hair while the other hand gripped her nightgown at her low back, pressing her body into his. He pulled on her hair, causing her to lean her head to the side. His mouth found her neck, and he kissed, licked, and sucked her, claiming her as his._

_A gasp escaped her lips, and her hands went to his chest to try to create space between them. "Ben..." She addressed him, and they both knew it was a plea for him to stop._

_"Don't call me that!" He growled against her ear, and then took that into his mouth as well._

_"Please..." She tried again._

_"I asked you that once, as well." His lips were still against her ear. "Just give into me, Rey."_

_"I can't," she told him honestly._

_"You can. And you will." He pulled back ever so slightly to look into her eyes, letting her know how serious he was. He then crashed his lips onto hers._

_This she did not resist. Her lips moved with his, and she even parted them a bit to give his tongue access to hers. Rey would have continued to let Kylo control her lips, but she began to feel a throbbing in her most sensitive spot between her legs. She gathered all her strength and shoved him away._

_Kylo quickly grabbed her wrists and pulled her back into him. He swiftly twisted each arm and pinned them behind her back, pressing her body into his again._

_"Haven't you been listening?" He asked her. "You cannot escape me. You are mine."_

_"And I keep telling you that I don't belong to you! Or anyone, for that matter!" She told him angrily._

_"Ah, but you do... You have two choices: be my queen or be my prisoner."_

_"Or you can let me go."_

_"I'll never let you go." She thought she could see his lips slightly tremble at that._

_Rey decided to change her tactic. Resisting him, fighting him, running away- none of those worked. She tried honesty. "For now, can't you just be content with knowing that I do love you?"_

_This gave him pause, and he released her. She chose not to move away from him, and instead lifted up onto her toes to kiss him gently. Her hands rested on his chest, as she was now use to doing. His hands found her waist, and he kissed her back just as gently._

_"Not everything can be done with brute force," she told him while pulling away._

_Kylo sighed and shook his head. "I meant what I said. I'm not letting you go. You will be my queen or my prisoner." He told her, making sure she knew his mind was made up on the matter. "I need you," he added._

"Good morning, dear!" The bright, cheery voice of Ava jolted Rey awake, as well as the lights being flicked on.

"Is it already morning?!" Rey groaned, pulling the blankets over her head.

"It is a bit earlier than your usual wake time," Ava agreed on the sudden arrival of morning, "but you have a garden brunch later this morning. We have some work to do before you can... um, be presented."

Rey pushed the covers down while making a frustrated noise. She sat up and rubbed her face with both hands. She glanced to the windows and noticed that not even the sun had completely risen.

"What 'work' do we have to do?" She asked skeptically.

"You'll need to bathe, we'll dry and style your hair, add a bit of make-up, and find you a suitable gown and shoes. We may need a few run-throughs with the shoes..."

"Why 'work' so hard for a bunch?" Rey questioned, contempt for the morning ahead clear in her voice.

"Because you're the last Jedi, silly! We're working on your image beginning today," Ava told her cheerfully.

"Luke was the last Jedi..." she muttered.

"But you were still trained, and you're all we have. Now off to the bath with you!"


	6. Protection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garden party! WOOT WOOT!
> 
> Rey coming to terms with her popularity?... or lack thereof...
> 
> Poe and Finn to the rescue?
> 
> A possible breakthrough for Kylo?
> 
> Does anyone miss Hux? *crickets* I didn't think so... but he invited himself. Just for a bit!
> 
> These questions will be answered! Well, maybe...

* * *

It took a few hours to get Rey's hair and make-up just right, as well as to find a gown and shoes that she would actually agree to wear. She wasn't trying to be difficult, but most of the dresses offered to her were quite revealing. She just wasn't comfortable with showing her whole back or midriff.

They settled on a flowy ocean blue dress that had a sweetheart neckline, leaving her shoulders completely bare, with flowy sleeves starting just under her armpits. At least she felt like she could move in this gown! She had to admit, she kind of liked it. Her hair was in a simple half-up style that she was comfortable with; however, she hated the makeup covering her face. It just felt weird!

About an hour later she was pacing in the foyer waiting to see someone she knew before going to the gardens. Rey's stomach tied in knots and her mouth went dry at the thought of meeting so many people! She spied at least fifty through the windows. Thankfully, she didn't have to wait long... Lieutenant Connix was soon in the foyer as well. She was wearing a lovely gold dress. Her hair was simple, worn down but slightly curled.

"I'm so happy to see you! I really didn't want to go out there on my own," Rey confessed.

"Yeah, it feels like we're being paraded for the wolves..."

"Paraded?" Rey questioned.

"All of the nobility are here to see the grimey resistance fighters. Though, we clean up very well!" Connix winked at Rey. "Shall we grace them with our presence?" Rey nodded and followed her out into the garden.

Nobility was present, just as Connix said, to mingle with the resistance fighters, interested in meeting these fiery bunch of people willing to fight the good fight while they watched from afar. Of course, they all waited eagerly to meet the new Jedi, Luke's apprentice.

Sensing everyone's eyes on her, Rey spotted Finn and Poe and squeezed between them. "Don't leave me," she whispered. The guys silently agreed. As they walked a small loop, Rey was sure she heard whispers and soft giggles directed at her presence.

Once spotted, Leia waved them over to meet a small group of regally dressed people. Rey smiled brightly and nodded enthusiastically or demurely, depending on the topic. Poe and Finn also nodded, grunted agreement, and provided one to three word answers when necessary. This went on with various groups for what felt like hours but was only about 45 minutes.

The trio decided they needed a break so stood in a more open area, not too close to the crowd. Poe left to get a few drinks while Finn went in search of snacks. Rey was left to eagerly await their return.

"That little  _thing_  is supposed to protect us from the new Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren?!" Rey heard a voice from the other side of a wall of greenery.

"She  _has_  bested him before..." another voice chimed in.

"I heard he was injured! I find it hard to believe that he won't gut her with his lightsaber as soon as he gets the chance. Anyone standing with them will meet the same fate!" The first voice nervously whispered.

"It's our duty to stand with our queen," the second reminded the first.

"Well, maybe we should say something to the queen! We have children... I'm not willing to die for this cause! I'm not convinced that  _girl_  can do anything!"

Rey needed a second alone, needed to get away from the now exposed fears held by a couple of Naboo citizens. She escaped into the palace and to the small study where she first met Sandrine.

She didn't know what bothered her most! They were right. Rey would never beat Kylo Ren in a duel. She  _wouldn't_  fight him at all. Then her thoughts drifted to whether or not  _he'd_  fight her... He kept telling her, both verbally and non, that he wanted her. He would never hurt her. At the same time, he was sinister and warned her that she would  _not_  escape him. She began wondering if maybe Poe was onto something... Rey would be very tempting bait to draw the Supreme Leader out. She was seriously considering this as a legitimate plan, to draw Ben- Kylo away from the First Order so that the Resistance could end them. She could protect Ben. Or they could just run away... No. She couldn't leave her new family. She-

"They really outdid themselves this time," Tristan's smug voice met her ears. "You almost look like royalty in that getup."

Rey was startled out of her thoughts. "Go away, creep," she said annoyed, turning her attention to him.

Ignoring her, Tristan shut the door to the study for added privacy. This might have frightened a more timid girl, but Rey found his attempt at intimidation pathetic. She crossed her arms and hoped for the chance to kick his ass.

"I think that I could help you... and your cause. I'm quite influential. The only payment required is sexual favors," he disclosed his plan, walking closer to stand in front of her. "Like, right now, get on your knees and suck my cock, and I'll give you a vast amount of money." He smirked the smirk of an entitled jerk who just knew he was the most attractive being in existence. Any female would be lucky to suck his cock.

Rey pressed her lips together trying not to outright laugh at him. She at least have him credit for being blunt! "You have got to be kidding me! I'm not a whore, and I wouldn't touch you if you were the last man in the galaxy!"

Tristan's smirk did not waver. "Think about it, Rey," he boldly placed a hand on her waist, "you pleasure me, I give you  _and_  your people what they need... It's not that big of a request. I'm sure you've spent plenty of time on your knees." He continued his bargaining, and belittling, all while moving his other hand toward her breast.

Rey quickly seized both of his hands and pushed him back. "No! My answer is no. No no no! Touch me again, and I'll break your hands!"

She could tell he wasn't used to a girl like her, whether it was just her refusal or that she had the strength to physically push him away. He was livid. Tristan slapped Rey.

Grabbing her by the hair, he yanked her toward the floor, and tried to force her down on her knees. "Look here, you little bitch! It's not for you to make threats. You're on  _my_  planet! I could send word to the First Order-"

At that, Rey scratched his hand holding her hair, causing him to release her. He quickly tried to grab at her with his unscathed hand but ended up ripping her dress near her cleavage as she quickly backed away from his grasp. Rey shot a hand out, gathering the force with her fear and anger, and directed it at Tristan. He flew into a bookcase, his head thudding against the strong wood. He fell to the floor unconscious.

Rey snatched her hand back and held it to her chest. "Kriff," she whispered to herself. She then turned and fled to her room. Once there, she locked the door and quickly found the floor to give way to her tears and fear. There was  _no way_  she'd be getting out of this one! The Resistance would be shunned all because of her.

"Rey!" Finn's voice called from the other side of the door. "What happened? What's wrong? Did you see Kylo Ren?"

"No," she replied through her tears.

"We saw you run up the stairs," Poe chimed in to let her know he was also there. "Why did you run from the party? It's not that bad!"

"I don't want to talk about it..."

"Rey..." Finn admonished. "Please tell us what's wrong."

She considered them for a second, and knowing they wouldn't go away until they had answered, she gave in. "Tristan... I hurt Tristan! I have no control over the force! I- I think I used the dark side..."

"That little..." Finn muttered.

"I'm sure he deserved it," Poe said kindly.

They both hid their fear of the words 'dark side' well from Rey.

"What did that little shit do?" Poe prodded for more information.

"I'm gonna kick his ass..." Finn continued his muttering.

Rey sat sideways by the door and leaned her head against it. "I already kicked his ass, Finn," she disclosed. "He tried to... proposition me..."

"Proposition?" Finn questioned.

"Proposition," Poe repeated, anger rising in his voice.

"Sexually," she clarified.

"SEXUALLY?!" they both angrily exclaimed.

"He ripped my dress," she added sadly, looking down at the mentioned rip.

"I'm sorry, sexually?" Finn questioned again. "He didn't... force himself on you-"

"No! He did  _not_  force himself on me!" Rey quickly told them. "He wanted me to..." She couldn't bring herself to repeat the request.

"Rey, we have to know what he did if we're to defend your actions," Poe logically told her. He mainly wanted to know so he could also kick Tristan's ass at this point.

"He told me to suck his cock!" She blurted out, covering her face with her hands in embarrassment, even though they couldn't see her.

"Oh! It's on!" Finn exclaimed. She could hear his footsteps run off and Poe yelling after him.

Rey had the feeling that she just made everything worse. A lot worse. She slowly got to her feet and wiped her eyes. She turned to head to the dressing table and noticed the black clad man in the corner of her room.  _Fuuuuuuuuuuck_.

"Sexually," Kylo echoed with contained fury.

"You know, for someone who hates Finn and Poe, you sound just like them..." Rey pointed out, crossing her arms over her chest and the rip in her dress. "How long have you been there?" She was trying to diffuse his anger a bit.

"I saw you lock the door..." Kylo trailed, fists tightly clenched to his sides.

"We really need a code word or something... or just a simple 'hi- me again' because I'm not comfortable with the sneakiness of your appearances!"

"Who's Tristan?" He asked, ignoring her comment. Rey could tell he was doing a phenomenal job- for once- at controlling his anger.

"It's not important. Besides, if I told you, you- and the First Order- would find us. Then you'd murder Tristan."

"I  _would_  do both of those things," he admitted. Kylo held her gaze and walked closer to her. "You should have stayed with me. No one would have dared-"

"Ben!" She interrupted exasperated. "I didn't, ok?! Please stop bringing it up. It's not going to change anything!"

"Fine," he said shortly.

"Good!" was her reply.

"You're ok, then?" He questioned, looking her up and down.

"Besides a ripped dress..."

"What about that mark on your cheek...?" He asked, lightly brushing his fingers over the pink area on her face.

Rey closed her eyes, fighting the desire to touch him back. "Stop pretending you care." He dropped his hand back to his side at this.

"I do care-"

"No. You only  _think_  you care, but you only care about how this makes  _you_  feel not how I feel. You still see me as some _thing_  you want to possess, and you're angry that someone else touched what you  _want_."

"That's not true, and you know it!" He argued.

"Do I? Tristan made me realize that you're really not too different from him. Both of you propositioning me to get what  _you_  want! I bet that even if I had taken your hand, accepted your offer, you'd still have me locked away in some cell until you had use of me!"

"Wow. That's  _really_  what you think of me?!" Kylo took a step back. He genuinely looked hurt at her words. Rey tried not to care.

"I'm trying to comfort you! This isn't easy for me!"

"Oh, I feel  _so_  sorry for you!" She rolled her eyes.

"Fine. I love you. Is that what you need to hear?!" He stepped back towards her.

"No! Dammit, Ben! You don't even know what love is!"

"Oh, and you do?! You grew up on a garbage heap with nothing and no one!"

"Finn. Finn loves me. I love him. He's my best friend! Poe. I don't love him yet, but I probably will soon. He's like the big brother I always wanted. I haven't met Rose yet, but I hear she's amazing and I'll like her instantly." Rey rattled off her affections, carefully omitting any of Kylo's family members. "What about you?" She challenged.

Kylo rested his hands on her shoulders and put his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. "Rey. She loves me even though she doesn't want to." He lifted his head and looked her in the eyes. "I  _know_  I don't deserve her love, but I'm going to try and earn it." With that, he severed the bond.

Rey was left with a lingering warmth where his hands had been and the shock from his confession.

* * *

_Kylo Ren found himself back in the black nothingness. He was dressed as he normally was for sleeping, only wearing a pair of black, thin cotton pajama pants. The last time he was in this place he was fully dressed, so now he felt slightly vulnerable._

_Kylo looked around, trying to focus his eyes in the darkness. It really was no use. Why was he here again? Was Rey here? He found that he hoped that Rey was, indeed, sharing this nothingness with him. This thought prompted him to move. He picked a direction and began walking, hoping to run into Rey. It didn't take long before he could make out a faint light. He moved towards it, knowing that's where he'd find Rey._

_Rey's arms were pulled out tightly to either side by black rope. She was almost suspended in the air with only her toes touching the ground. She took a sharp inhale of breath at the sight of him._

_"Who did this to you?" He asked, concern clear in his voice._

_"I don't know," she practically whimpered. "It hurts! Please help me!" She begged desperately._

_Kylo couldn't see how these ropes were attached to her wrists, so he tried pulling the ropes away from their source. This, however, caused them to tighten, and Rey cried out in pain._

_"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he told her. He began inspecting her wrists again._

_"This place is different," she informed him. "Try something other than pulling the ropes."_

_Kylo decided to do what he most wanted to do... kiss her. Maybe it would at least distract her from the pain. As soon as his lips brushed hers, the ropes disintegrated into smoke. However, the smoke didn't seem happy that he had freed her and began circling them. He pulled her to him protectively, and she clung to him._

_"Close your eyes and don't let go of me," he instructed her. Kylo then pressed his lips back to hers to distract them both from the ominous smoke._

_Rey returned his kiss, desperate to focus on anything else other than the smoke. She lost herself in his lips._

_When they finally pulled away, not only was the smoke gone but so was the darkness. Bright white light surrounded them. They stared at each other with wide eyes, knowing that their actions had brought light to this place. Rey smiled and threw her arms around his neck. She happily attacked his lips with her own. This was one attack he'd welcome._

The comm in Kylo's room pulled him from his summer. "Ren!" Hux's extremely annoying voice chirped through.

"What. Do you want?" Kylo bit out.

"Where the hell have you been?!"

"Remember who you are speaking to," Kylo coldly reminded him before he decided to answer his now subordinate. "Not that it's any of your business, but I found a way to..." he paused to think of the best phrasing, "secure victory over the Jedi girl, removing the only hope the Resistance has."

"Excellent!" Hux sounded like he genuinely meant that. "We can meet to discuss this new information at  _your_  earliest convenience."

"I still have some final plans to set in motion before I'm ready to share anything. However, we will meet so I can see the progress you've made with my troops."

There were a few seconds of silence before Hux forced out a "Very well," then the comm was dead. Kylo didn't give a shit about the troops. He just liked reminding Hux that everything was now at the mercy of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.

He was, however, truthful about planning Rey's downfall. Getting her to fall in love with him all over again and earn back her trust was part of it. Her words ran through his head: "you still see me as something you want to possess." So, so true. He wanted her. He was going to have her. No matter the cost.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I realize that it doesn't seem like Kylo is moving in a good direction... Kylo is great at that game where you take one step forward but then two steps back! Kylo is not nice. Not yet. His wittle feelings are hurt, and -as ever- he's conflicted. He loves Rey as well as he can, but he has a loooong way to go! Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them!


	7. Bait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playing love games during space wars... Welp, GAME ON!
> 
> I'm on a mission  
> And it involves some heavy touching, yeah  
> You've indicated your interest  
> I'm educated in sex, yes  
> Now I want it bad, want it bad  
> A lovegame, a lovegame  
> Hold me and love me  
> Just wanna touch you for a minute  
> Baby three seconds is enough for my heart to quit
> 
> (Lady Gaga "Love Game")
> 
> Sorry. I had to do it... :-)

 

* * *

An uneventful couple of weeks passed. No force bonds. The people of Naboo were embracing the Resistance. The children were especially fascinated with the young woman Jedi. Best of all, no Tristan! Poe and Finn had found him right when he came to... They made a deal: Tristan couldn't say anything about Rey using the force on him and had to 'go on a vacation' away from the palace, and they wouldn't break every bone in his body. Seemed a good deal... one Tristan really couldn't refuse!

Rose and Rey finally met. It was by far the most exciting thing to take place for the small group of friends. The girls liked each other almost immediately, bonding over mechanics and their recent adventures. They both liked to commend the other for their bravery in the last noble fight against the First Order. Of course, this was all to mainly to annoy Finn and Poe! They adopted Kaydel Ko Connix into their little circle of trust. They mainly called her "Conni," while Rose got called "Tico" from Poe and Conni most of the time. Rey was occasionally called "Jedi," but that was mainly done to tease her for being soooo "perfect!"

Rey kept attending informal gatherings, strategic meetings, and royal parties with Leia. Poe was always present at these events, and Finn was usually there too. She repeatedly expressed her concerns with dueling Kylo Ren, citing her lack of a lightsaber as her reason for apprehension. This was the cause of Poe's grand idea.

Bait. They were back to talking about using her as bait. Rey was uncomfortable with this line of thought. Finn was downright refusing. Poe was excitedly formulating a plan. Leia oversaw it all with her usual wisdom and grace. In the end, Rey knew she would do what was necessary of her.

"If we can lure him to a planet of our choosing, we can implement this plan. We don't  _need_  you to fight him. We just need you to lead him away from his ship. Then we can board it to check for information and plant a tracker," Poe explained his brilliant idea. "He'll follow you, if you run, won't he?"

"I have no doubt that he will," Rey admitted, but she wasn't exactly sure what Poe wanted her to do once Kylo caught her... because he definitely would!

"How will we get him to preferred planet?" Finn asked, doing his best to point out a flaw in the plan.

"Rey," Poe simply answered. He turned his attention to her, "Do your bond thing and drop hints, acting like you think he won't know where you're talking about."

"Okay, then... where  _are_  we going?" Finn asked, crossing his arms.

"One of my old childhood friends is hosting his daughter's wedding soon on his planet. I was invited to go once he learned I was on Naboo. I will reply saying I'm bringing a few guards with me," Leia suggested. "That way we at least know it's a safe location. He, kind of like Naboo, play nicely with the First Order on the surface, but they're more with us than them. It will be safe for us there," she concluded.

"Then it's settled," Poe stated. "Rey, I don't want to put more pressure on you than there already is, but all of our hopes really are riding on you and your ability to get Kylo Ren where we want him."

"I'll try," she conceded, "but he's much cleverer than I am... So maybe come up with a backup plan."

"How long before this wedding takes place?" Finn questioned.

"I'm afraid we only have a few days... Rey will have to act quickly," Leia informed them.

 _Well, fuck!_ Rey thought. She and Ben- dammit!- Kylo parted arguing. Again. Now she had to try and get on his good side so he'd talk to her, drop some hints without being obvious, and come up with a plan when they ultimately come face to face  _not_  through the bond! Yeah. No pressure...

* * *

Kylo Ren finished his second cold shower for the day and prepared himself for bed. He had had a not too pleasant, but not too dreadful, meeting with his Generals, all of which were beginning to fall in line, but Hux, of course, gave the most pushback. It was frustrating that he couldn't just kill the man and make an example out of him. Though, everyone feared Kylo enough to stay out of his way, do what he wanted, and not ask too many intrusive questions. Except Hux. He was like a toddler who kept asking "why" to everything.  _Why_  haven't we attacked anyone yet?  _Why_ are you letting certain planets have more free reign over their own affairs?  _Why_  haven't you caught that Jedi girl or at least shared your plan with me?  _Why, why, why?!_

Jedi girl. He really did need to share his plan with Hux, at least. He just couldn't bring himself to do it yet. One part of him thought that it was because he didn't want to share any of the control he had in keeping his plot shrouded in secrecy. Another part thought that Hux wouldn't like his plan and would argue him to death - well, one of their deaths. Though, he deep down knew the real reason: if no one else knew what he had in store for Rey, he could always back out.

He wrestled with himself every single day, flip flopping back and forth on whether or not he could really go through with it. Some days, that teensy bit of light that was still in him won out, and he decided he couldn't do it. Not to her. He loved her. No sane person could ever do what he was planning to do to the person they loved. And if he did implement his 'evil scheme,' he knew he'd lose her love forever. There would be no going back.

However, most days he was still  _so_  angry. He felt her betrayal like a knife in his heart. She  _had_  to know he loved her. Why would she refuse his offer to be with him? It just didn't make sense to him. Were those friends of hers really more important than the bond they shared? The answer was no, but she didn't care. And she had the audacity to claim that  _he_  didn't care! At this point, he didn't. He no longer cared what she thought of him or her happiness. He only cared about his own, and he would have her by his side one way or another. Her days with the Resistance were numbered!

"Ben?" Rey's soft voice cut through his thoughts.

He had taken a seat on his bed and had been staring straight ahead at nothing in particular, but he quickly turned his head to the right at her interruption. He said nothing but narrowed his eyes at her.

Rey didn't know what else to say. She had called to 'Ben' but locking her eyes with his, only 'Kylo' stared her down. She decided to try to lighten the mood, hoping that would calm him a bit. "Shirtless, again, I see..." she gestured at his bare chest and stepped a little bit closer. "Maybe I should repay the -" she stopped herself, immediately horrified at what she was about to say. At least her almost comment made him quirk an eyebrow at her, and he was no longer scowling.

"You were saying..." he prompted.

Rey couldn't help the embarrassed blush that crept across her cheeks. "I'm sorry," she blurted out, desperate to change the subject. She needed to get on with what she really came to do anyway. "I'm sorry that I said you didn't care. I know you do... in your way. I shouldn't dismiss your feelings."

Kylo stood to step closer, causing a still blushing Rey to focus on the floor. "Are you really apologizing to me?" He questioned. He knew she was sincere, he could feel it. He just didn't know why she was doing this. Was it somehow a trick?

Rey looked back up into his soulful brown eyes. "Yes," she replied. "I'm mainly sorry that I compared you to Tristan. That guy's a creep, and even you don't deserve that level of insults."

Kylo pressed his lips together in a line. Rey thought he was holding back anger, but he was really suppressing the smallest smile. Dammit, her awkwardness was adorable!

"Did you miss me or something? Is that why you're apologizing?"

"No!" She said quickly. "I mean, I do miss you. A bit. But that's not why I'm apologizing. Well, it kind of is. I just, well, I think we should talk..." she rambled.

Kylo crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head to the side. "About what?" he asked skeptically.

"Um... Our feelings?" she suggested.

"Our feelings," he repeated. She nodded. "No."

"No?"

"No," he confirmed.

"But I," she took a deep breath, "love you." Rey said this as some sort of a confession.

"I know," Kylo replied, shrugging. " _We_  know we love each other. It's only a secret to literally everyone else."

Rey looked confused. "But... if you know, why are you usually so mean?"

Kylo rolled his eyes. "Mean? How old are you again? Nineteen, right? And you're calling me mean... After apologizing for being  _mean_... to me."

"Ok, then, what do you want to talk about?" Rey asked, crossing her arms.

"I don't want to talk about anything. I want to go to sleep!" And he shuffled backwards to his bed to sit down and make his point.

Rey followed him a few steps. "Oh, come on, I'm finally willing to have a civil discussion, and you want to go to sleep?!"

"Being the Supreme Leader of the Galaxy is tiring," he told her with a mischievous smirk.

Rey rolled her eyes. "I am not rising to that obvious ploy at starting an argument."

Kylo laid onto his back and looked up at his ceiling, smirk firmly in place. "Well, you can join me if you'd like," he patted the bed next to him, still not looking at her. "Though, I must warn you, I usually sleep nude." He did turn his head to watch her reaction at that. Rey's body language and facial expression betrayed nothing; however, her face colored to an even darker shade of pink.

"I... I think I'll just go..."

Kylo returned his gaze to the ceiling. "You do that," he said, shoving his arms behind his head, knowing full well he was giving her quite a view of his naked torso. "And, Rey? I accept your apology. Thank you."

"Sleep well," she said in reply and severed the bond.

"Shit," he said to himself once alone again. Things were now complicated. Feelings, more specifically, were even more complicated. Maybe he  _would_  give her one last chance to choose him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for hanging in there readers! This is a shorter chapter, but I wanted to get something out there. Our little Rey is starting her own plot as well: Operation Distract Ben Solo/Kylo Ren.
> 
> Sorry for the wait... My husband is English. It's World Cup season. We've been busy!


	8. Conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Smutty words ahead...
> 
> Also warning: I've been binge watching New Girl (Schmidt and Cece, another "forbidden" couple, lol). Friend moments and girl talk ahead.
> 
> Song? Ok then!
> 
> You know I'd fall apart without you  
> I don't know how you do what you do  
> 'Cause everything that don't make sense about me  
> Makes sense when I'm with you
> 
> (Hunter Hayes "Wanted" - gasp! a country song!)

* * *

Rey spent her afternoon training with her staff. Between the meetings and the parties, she hadn't really had time to hone her skills. She also needed to find an appropriate way to release some frustration. Frustration from both not connecting with Ben how she wanted to and then connecting too much to cause her thoughts to stray to imagining his bare chest and what it'd be like to touch him...

"I don't think that this is going to work," Rey said, flopping into the chair at the dining table.

"Why not?" Poe questioned, he then took a quick sip of his wine.

"I don't have enough time!" She said, almost exasperated. "He's not engaging in conversation. I can't randomly mention that I'm going to a wedding as his mother's date. He would find my offering that information as odd."

"Well, I don't care how you present the information, just get him there!" Poe commanded her.

"Ugh!" Rey grunted her frustration, grabbing some bread from the table. "It's not that easy!  _He's_  not that easy!"

"Look, I know that we're asking a lot of you. We're forcing you to spend more time with Ren- to be nice to him... But we need this chance. We can't fight yet. We're too small, they're more than too big! If we can, at the very least, get that tracker on his ship, then we'd know where they are at all times." Poe was working on his leadership skills. This conversation was stretching his ability to be understanding while trying to keep his soldier on track.

"What if spending time with him makes me turn to the dark side...?" she asked her friends hypothetically, trying to sound as serious as possible.

They all stopped eating to stare at her. Finn's giggle broke the silence. "You? Go dark? That's hilarious! You're the lightest, most pure little ball of fierceness that I've ever seen!"

Rey slumped back in her chair crossing her arms. "I  _do_  have darkness in me..." She feebly argued against Finn.

"We all do, Freckles." Finn patronizingly patted her shoulder, still amused by his friend.

They finished their dinner in comfortable silence, with brief meaningless conversation. Though Rey was the last to join the table for dinner, she was the first to finish and leave. Rose used this opportunity to catch up with Rey so that they could have some girl talk.

"I stole some sweets," Rose said, showing Rey a cloth napkin with the mentioned treats tucked inside.

They settled on the floor of Rey's room, Rose opening the napkin so that the girls could choose what they wanted. Rey choose her favorite pastry, while Rose took anything that was chocolate.

"So..." Rose began.

"So," Rey repeated with her mouth full.

"I get the danger... I really do! But I can't help but feel there's another reason that you're reluctant to go through with Poe's plan."

Rey sighed through her chewing. She swallowed before answering. "I don't like being bait. And, I don't know what I'm going to do when I see him in person again..."

"Maybe you should kiss him," Rose suggested, only half joking. " _That_  would keep him distracted!"

"Why do you say that?" Rey asked quickly, and Rose couldn't tell if Rey was blushing or if it was a residual pinkness from training.

"Because he's a heterosexual  _man_... And he obviously likes you... And  _I_  think you wouldn't mind it too much either..."

Rose took a bite of her chocolate dessert and studied her friend. Rey took a bite from her second treat, studying Rose as well. She hadn't thought about kissing him. To be very honest, she was waiting for  _him_  to kiss  _her_! But why?! She was more than comfortable with taking initiative and pushing his comfort boundaries. It may be a good tactic for distraction...

"What makes you think he likes me?" Rey finally asked.

"Because the boys talk. Finn and Poe even acknowledge that you are a weakness for Kylo Ren. He could have- should have- killed you. It sounds like he's had plenty of chances... Also, both you and Poe were his prisoner. Poe did not come out too well, but you look like he didn't even touch you! Nor did he let anyone else..."

"I really wasn't his prisoner for very long..."

"He lovingly, gently carried you off. He had Stormtroopers drag Poe away..."

"Poe can be a cocky jerk. He probably brought that on himself!" Rey joked.

"And your romantic bond -"

"I wouldn't say romantic-"

"And he saved your life-"

"I saved his life, too!" Rey pointed out to make sure that he didn't get all of the credit.

"Exactly. You did." Rose tricked Rey into making her point for her. "You care for him. I think the real reason is that you don't  _want_  to hurt him... or his man feelings."

Rey stared at Rose, blinking. "Please tell me that no one else thinks this," Rey begged, not even trying to hide the truth from Rose.

"Really? You really think those two would be able to figure it out? The subject of female emotions is completely foreign to them. Poe can't even figure out that Conni has a crush on him, and he's with her every single day! Finn was shocked when I suggested it... Leia, on the other hand, I do believe that she suspects something. Though, I think it's hope that her son is in love and can still turn to the light." Rose finished giving Rey a reassuring smile.

"You must think I'm a fool."

"A traitor," Rose corrected. "At one point, not very long ago, I would have branded you as a traitor. But, then, I had never been in love. Now, I understand that you can't really choose who you fall in love with. I'm sure there are reasons that none of us can understand of why you two feel the way you do. Because, personally, I want to rip his throat out!"

"Fair enough... I mean, I did slice his face up... He's a complete narcissistic, scheming, damaged, dangerous... brat!"

"Yet, you love him."

"Ugh! I do!" Rey covered her face with her hands.

"I can safely say that you have the worst taste in men!" Rose teased, nudging her.

* * *

Rey emerged out of her bath dripping wet and quickly wrapped herself in a fluffy towel. She clutched the towel around her as she made her way to her bedroom. Once there, she could immediately sense that she wasn't alone.

"So you really are going to repay the favor..." Kylo's deep voice sounded from directly behind her.

Rey could hear the smirk he wore, and she fought the urge to turn around to face him. "Maybe..." She replied as nonchalantly as possible.

"Well, the score is three to one. You have some catching up to do..."

Confused by his comment, she did turn to face him. Now she understood. This was the third time they'd met with him being topless. The first that she technically was.

"As far as I can tell, I'm winning..."  _Why why why had she just said that!_

Kylo, for the first time since they had met, actually let a genuine smile contort his lips before shaking his head slightly, making it vanish.

Perhaps it was her talk with Rose, but all Rey could think about was pressing her lips to his. So she did. The kiss did not shock him like she thought it would. Instead, it was like he was a starving man and only her kiss would fill him up. He not only deepened the kiss, but he began to inch her closer to her bed.

Rey thought she may trip, so she reached up to grip his shoulders with both hands. Her towel fell to the floor, revealing her naked body. Kylo did not seem to notice, as he continued his attack on her mouth. He did notice, however, once he succeeded in causing them both to fall onto her bed. He pulled back to look into her eyes, almost as if to ask if this was all ok. Rey quickly pulled him back down to continue their make-out session. Kylo pulled away from her lips again, but it was so he could put his mouth to good use on the rest of her body.

Soon, Rey found herself winding her fingers through Kylo's silky black hair as he went down on her. The first stroke of his tongue caused her to cry out and her whole body to shudder.

Rey's eyes shot open.  _It was just a dream. Another. Damn. Dream!_  What was the force trying to do to her?!

Kylo was awoken by his dream, but he refused to open his eyes, hoping that he could quickly fall back asleep and into that dream!

Rey was left wondering how she would be able to face him again, when the image of his head planted firmly between her thighs kept coming to mind. Oh, and, how much she wanted that to be real!

Kylo knew sleep wouldn't happen again for a while. So he reluctantly opened his eyes and rolled onto his back.

Did her bed just move?

There was something warm to his left.

Rey scrambled up to a seated position and looked to her right. Kylo did the same but looked left. This was not a dream. They were, indeed, in bed together.

"What is going on?! Why are you here?!" She whispered shrilly.

"I don't know!" He grumbled back. "I feel that this is the force's doing..."

"Why mention the force?" Rey questioned, turning to face him fully.

"The force wants us together, and wants us to play nicely." Kylo explained.

"Play nicely?" She asked, still not understanding what he was trying to say.

"Like Snoke said, darkness rises and light to meet it. You are ten years younger than I am. My most trying time, when I really felt one with the dark side was when I was nine years old. When you would have been conceived. Fast forward twenty years, I'm the most powerful I've ever been, and here you come, strong with the light side. We fight, the ground rips us apart before you could truly hurt me. We're then bonded. Even after Snoke's death. We fought over the lightsaber, it broke in half. Now we're having strange, shared dreams," he looked at her meaningfully.

"You're  ** _ten_**  years older than I am?!"

"That's really the point you decided to absorb from all of that?!" he asked, somewhat perturbed.

Well, she had been imaging him in sexual situations... So his age was of interest to her. For some reason, knowing that he was nearly thirty while she was only nineteen made him sexier.  _What is wrong with me!?_  She thought.

"The force. Messing with us. Right..." she trailed. "But I thought the force was just the thread that held everything together. It doesn't have a plan. Why should it care about us?"

"I don't have the answer to everything..."

"You  _act_  like you do... " she muttered.

"The force may not have a plan, but it likes balance," he explained, ignoring her comment.

"Maybe the force wants us to talk!" Rey said brightly, sharing the idea that had just occurred to her.

Kylo groaned and flopped back down on his back. "No."

"Yes! The bond started to help us communicate  _without_  wanting to kill each other, well not letting us kill each other... I still wanted to kill you... You were so-"

"Sshhh! I'm trying to escape this bond session but can't concentrate on severing with your ramblings!" Kylo said, obviously annoyed.

Rey briefly thought that if maybe she annoyed him enough, he wouldn't want her anymore... She opened her mouth to continue her ramblings but shut it again, realizing that she didn't want him to go away.

"Well, if you won't talk, you can listen."

"I can think of other things to do that don't involve talking at all..."

The most recent dream flashed in both of their minds.

"You always go on and on about how you  _need_  me by your side, but you don't even want to talk?!"

"Maybe I should go back to being the monster you thought me to be..." It was his turn to mutter.

"Nope! I know you better than that now. No going back!" She said cheerfully.

Kylo turned on his side, pushed up onto his elbow, and propped his head in his hand. "Do you?" He questioned. "Know me better? Maybe I still  _am_  that monster and this is my new mask."

"And, what? You're luring me in with your kindness and your witty conversation?" Rey asked sarcastically.

He sighed, wondering how in the hell did he fall in love with this girl... Oh, but he did, and he had it bad!

"Why isn't this working..." He said to himself.

"Blame it on the force. It's holding us hostage in our bond. Until we...talk!"

"Dammit! Fine! You chat away and I'll listen. Maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll fall back asleep!"

Rey smiled at her mini victory. She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Hhhmmm, what meaningless things can I bore you with..."

Kylo moved to lie on his back again, staring at the ceiling, begging sleep to find him... Though, he didn't necessarily  _really_  want the bond to sever. He was enjoying her warmth, even though they were far from touching. He was tempted to reach out and pull her to him, crushing her under his body and stealing kiss after kiss. But, no, neither of them were ready for that. That was just the dream.

"I get to attend a wedding!" Rey told him, really selling her naive excitement. It was his fault that he thought her naive...

"Really...?" He had to admit, he wad a bit interested. "Some rebel scum getting married?"

"No. And we're  _not_  scum!"

" _You're_  not scum..."

"It's a real wedding. I'm going with your m- Leia. I'm going with Leia. Apparently a childhood friend is hosting his daughter's wedding. Leia is kindly showing me parts of the Galaxy that I've never seen. New experiences and all!"

This poor little naive scavenger. His sweet Rey, giving him more information than she knows. Kylo had been invited to that wedding, as well. A formality, of course, and he had sent his regrets. Now he was wondering if he could switch his plans...

Rey could tell that he was thinking, she could practically see the wheels turning in his head. She smiled to herself, knowing that he would take the bait.

"I'm not thrilled about wearing yet  _another_  dress, but it will be nice to venture to new places."

"You look nice in dresses," he commented. "Even that atrocious frilly pink thing..."

"I'm getting use to them. Most are pretty comfortable, but I don't like how they restrict my movement. You know, in case I have to kick your ass or something," she teased, smiling widely.

Kylo turned his head to look at her, fighting a smile of his own. "The next time we meet for real, I dare you to try to kick my ass."

"Really, Ben. I'm looking for  _new_  experiences."

 _Oh, I'll show you new experiences_... he thought. "Ruling the galaxy with me would have been a new experience..." He decided to reply.

Rey huffed her annoyance. Kylo smiled smugly.

"I should really smother you with a pillow..."

"Ah, you should. But you won't," he told her, smug smile still firmly in place.

Rey poked his blanket-covered leg firmly with her index finger.

"Uh,  _ow_. What are you doing?"

"Just checking..."

"Checking what?"

"To see if I could touch you if I needed to."

He reached over and poked her in return. She frowned at him. "What? I had to make sure I could touch  _you_  if I needed to," he mocked.

Rey rolled her eyes at him but smirked and played with the string on her nightgown. After a few moments of silence passed, she resumed her position in her bed, lying on her back.

"I don't know how this is supposed to go, you and me... What we're supposed to do... Being on opposite sides, and all... But the force wants us to continue talking. So, I'm okay with seeing this bond thing through." Rey decided out loud, turning her head to look at him.

"Me too," Kylo replied. He had closed his eyes, trying to sleep.

Rey closed her eyes as well. There was something comfortable about being next to him. It didn't take long before they each drifted off to sleep, with the warmth of the other so close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotcha! I figured, most people have sex dreams... Our virginal leads have never been attracted to anyone before. So, I thought I'd give them a shared sex dream... And then they'd immediately have to face each other. I'm mean!
> 
> It was rough trying to get those two to shut up! They could have kept talking forever... I had to cut some of their banter. Made me sad, but we need to stay on track! Also, I'm using my new Kindle to write! It's a pain in my ass... The autocorrect is vicious! Sorry if I missed anything!


	9. Teacher

_Rey found herself on Ahch-To. It was warmer than she remembered. She was looking for something- someone?- but couldn't recall what it was... She made her way down to the rocky beach and threw stones into the water._

_"Rey..." Luke's warm voice sounded behind her. S_ _he turned to greet him, but he continued with what he needed to say. "Be careful, young Jedi."_

_"Be careful? Of what?" Rey was thoroughly confused._

_"Not what, who. My nephew, Ben. Kylo. He's nothing but danger for you. He wants to destroy you," he explained._

_"I'm not so sure about that anymore. He's starting to open up. He killed Snoke to save me. Did you know that?"_

_"I didn't, but I do now that I'm here, " Luke explained._ _"That doesn't change the fact that he's tricking you."_

_"Well, I'm tricking him! I guess we'll see who does a better job of it!"_

_"You're tricking yourself."_

_"Why do you say that? Because I believe he loves me?"_

_"He does love you. That's the problem. He's making you think he's offering a kind love. A devoted love. That he's becoming Ben again... But he just wants to possess you. Do not give in to him. Don't let him win. You can't fix him, and he's not ready to fix himself. Not yet. Stay away."_

_"Well, I can't really do that. We have a plan that we're putting into motion very soon."_

_"I know. This plan is doomed to fail. You can't trick him. Your emotions are too easily read."_

_Rey huffed. "Instead of being cryptic, say something helpful!"_

_"I already have. Do not give into him. Do not be controlled by your emotions."_

* * *

"So... since the guys aren't around, how'd the chat with Kylo Ren go?" Rose asked Rey while Conni leaned in, eagerly awaiting Rey's reply.

The girls were in Rey's room being measured, prodded, and spun in various angles so Ava could plan their dresses for the wedding, which the girls now called Operation Love Bait. Rey reluctantly went along with this...

"It was easier than I thought it would be," Rey admitted. "I could actually see him plotting once I mentioned the wedding! He's terrible at hiding his emotions."

Rose laughed. "Maybe he freaked out because you said the word 'wedding!' He was plotting to change the subject!"

Conni chuckled. "Men hate weddings. Unless there's free alcohol!"

"Luckily for us, he did  _not_  change the subject! He eagerly listened to every word. He's been baited!" Rey laughed with them.

"I think you are incredibly brave to risk your safety for the good of the Resistance," Conni said.

"I don't feel that I'm risking my safety. I'm not afraid of him. I know he won't hurt me," Rey told her, trying to assuage her fears.

"How do you know that? Because he said so? I wouldn't trust that snake!"

"I know... most people shouldn't! But he can't lie to me. It's practically impossible for him to do so. We can see into each other's minds- not that we do- neither of us want that, but we both know the possibility is there, so what's the use of lying?"

"So you tell him the truth?"

"Yes... and when I can't, I omit it. He does the same. We know when it happens, but we don't push each other. To be honest, we're both trying to build trust with each other. I have my motive, and he has his. Though, I'm not sure what that is yet."

"Because he's in love wi-"

"Stop it!" Rey interrupted Rose. Conni hadn't worked this out yet, and Rey didn't want her to run and tell Poe to get in his good graces. "You're being silly!"

Rose, luckily, picked up on the fact that Rey wanted to steer clear of this topic in front of Conni. "I know. I just like to tease!"

Conni had looked between the girls as they spoke but didn't seem to take Rose seriously. Rey was relieved.

"Ok, ladies," Ava said entering Rey's room. "I have a few dresses for each of you to try on and undergarments to help your figures!" She said that last bit blatantly looking Rey up and down. Rey glared back, clearly not excited about wearing what she now refers to as 'body shackles.' In fact, she'd rather be back in that elevator with Ben  _actually_  shackled...

"What  _is_  this?" Rey asked, holding the stiff garment that Ava handed her away from her body.

"Like I said, it's to help your figure. It will give you a bit of cleavage, dear," Ava said kindly. She wore a huge, almost joking, smile on her face.

"You're assuming that I even know what 'cleavage' is!"

"It's to push your boobs up so that they're slightly visible in your dress," Conni helpfully explained, though her smile was like Ava's.

"Absolutely not! Where do these things come from?!" Rey said in disbelief.

"Men!" Rose quipped.

"I was told to make you look as 'desirable' as possible, so you're wearing this," Ava told her.

Rey tossed the offending garment towards the bed and crossed her arms. "Who? Who told you that?!"

"Never you mind..."

"I want to know who  _and_  why they think I need that!" Rey wasn't backing down.

"I bet it was Poe," Rose chuckled. Conni suppressed a laugh and sorted. Rey glared at them.

"Not Poe..."

"Leia!" Rey realized. "It could only be Leia! I'm sure Poe and Finn don't even know those things exist!"

Ava just smiled at Rey, her silence confirming that Leia was in fact the conspirator.

"Why?"

"Why do you think?"

"She wants you to seduce her son!" Conni giggled the answer. Both girls continued laughing as Rey turned red from embarrassment.

"I wouldn't put it that way..." Ava said, trying to comfort Rey a bit. "But Leia  _does_  know how men tick. Especially Solo men..."

"I can't seduce him anyway! It's not possible... and I don't know how!" Rey informed everyone in the room. However, she grabbed the undergarment and a dress and stalked to the bathroom to get changed. Ava trailed behind her, winking at Rose and Conni on her way.

"I'm pretty sure that Rey just has to  _be_  in a room with him, and... seduced!" Rose whispered.

"I bet he's a big virgin, so you're probably right!" Conni whispered back, and the girls had a good laugh.

"I  _can_  hear you!" Rey called from her makeshift dressing room. The girls just laughed harder.

* * *

"Why?"

There was that damn question again... Hux was quickly becoming Kylo's least favorite person. Luckily for him, there was still that Resistance pilot and the Traitor... and that Tristan guy.

"We still need allies," Kylo explained through barely concealed annoyance. "I was invited to a wedding. A family friend's wedding, and I want to persuade them to our side before my m- General Organa can do so first."

"Don't you think you should take some Troopers with you? Organa and other Resistance members could be there. We could capture them and crush them!"

"They won't be stupid enough to be there," Kylo easily lied. "I need to remain secretive and discreet. I can't do that with Troopers all around me." Kylo just wanted Hux to go away, so he added, "I'll probably have two of the Knights meet me. The three of us can handle anything that may happen."

Hux didn't really want to let it go, but he thought better of his neck and being choked out. So he simply nodded and walked away.

Kylo was pleased that Hux gave up so easily. He didn't feel like creating lies and excuses for the man. He had a wedding to prepare for, after all. Should he enact his plan upon seeing Rey in person for the first time since Snoke's throne room? Should he wait and see her reaction to him being there? Should he offer her a place by his side...  _again_? Should he just do what he  _wants_  and kiss the girl?!

So many decisions. With recent developments, he was leaning towards asking her to come with him and help rule the galaxy. Even though it completely went to shit the last time, Kylo knew he could make a better proposal this time.

 _Don't mention her family, or lack thereof... Don't say she's nothing because that didn't even make sense when she's everything! Just tell her how you feel, how she makes you feel. S_ aid the romantic side of him. Let's call this side 'Ben.'

'Kylo,' the other side of him rolled his eyes at those thoughts.  _Telling her how you felt didn't work too well last time. Don't give her the choice. Just take what's yours. Her!_

"Great. Talking to myself. I've actually gone crazy," he muttered to himself.

"Not crazy. Just confused. That's why the Jedi were opposed to falling in love."

Kylo quickly spun around and stumbled back slightly.

"Relax, kid. I'm not here to hurt you. I couldn't even if I wanted to," Luke told him. "I  _am_  here to make sure you don't make good on your promise to destroy Rey."

"How- What- Why are you here?!" Kylo managed to sputter out.

"I thought I had just made myself clear... For Rey. Don't dare think of asking her to join you. She's not ready. And neither are you!"

Kylo just stared at him, still a bit shaken that Luke, as a force being (Luke didn't like the word 'ghost'), was even there.

"I did warn you that I'd stay with you, didn't I? I'm not about to let you ruin that poor girl!"

"I'm not!" Ben finally replied. Ben? Was he Ben? He  _felt_  like Ben! That confused, scared young man...

"Good..." Luke said, clearly not believing him. "She still has much to learn. You could teach her," Luke tried to appeal to Ben's deepest desire- well, one of them. "She listens to you. No one else, really. Just you. It makes no sense, but she does trust you."

"Maybe because  _I've_  never lied to her!" Kylo contained his rage. Luke just nodded. "Neither of us need  _your_  help. Just leave!"

"Fine. I'm going, but just try, for once, to use your head-or maybe even your heart- instead of acting on pure emotion. The balance in the force relies on you and Rey. Don't mess it up."

* * *

Yet again Rey found herself facing down Kylo Ren. They were in her room. Sat on her bed. Even Kylo admitted that he could now see bits of her surroundings.

" _Can_  you see my surroundings?" Rey glanced behind her. "I can't see yours. Just you."

"Now, where have I heard that before?" He smiled at her teasing him.

"Some jerk said those same words to me..." She smiled brightly.

"Jerk?!" He looked offended. "I thought a monster or murderous snake uttered those words..."

Rey laughed. "Was that- Did you just make a joke? Be careful... your Ben Solo is showing..." He rolled his eyes at her.

After barely a minute of silence, Rey got an idea. This would for sure lock him into attending that wedding! "Do you know how to dance?" She asked suddenly, and a bit shyly.

"Why...?" Kylo asked skeptically.

"I'm going to that wedding, and I'm sure that I'm expected to dance... but I've never really danced before..." Rey explained.

"Are you asking me to be your teacher, Rey of Jakku?" He asked formally, suppressing a smile.

Rey looked shocked. "And the jokes keep coming. I'm impressed,  _Solo_."

Kylo failed at hiding his smile as he rolled off of Rey's bed. He stood tall and offered her his hand. She stared at it for a second. She then took it and he pulled her to her feet. Rey was dressed in her simple nightgown, so she was happy to be practising in dress-like clothing. Kylo was wearing his sleep clothes- black tank and loose black cotton pants.

He guided her around a small area of her room, explaining how the man leads and the lady follows. "You can feel the rhythm once you get used to it. If in doubt, you're lucky, your partner should lead you."

"I'm hoping I won't have to dance at all," she confessed. The talking and dancing at the same time caused her bare foot to collide with his. "Sorry," she muttered.

"You know, dancing isn't a life or death situation. It's not something you have to do or even be good at..." He said, looking down at her.

"I want to try to do this right. I've never been to a wedding. I  _want_  to do the things I'm supposed to do at a wedding! That includes dancing."

"Well, you're not terrible... You can follow direction, for once..."

"Thank you?" Rey said, not sure if it was a compliment.

They released each other from their dance, and Rey retook her seated position on the bed. She patted the space next to her, and Kylo did what was asked of him. They sat cross-legged, facing each other.

"So..." He said, just to say  _something_.

"So..." She echoed.

"Have you read those books?" He asked, pointing to the Jedi texts on a table.

"No..." She said this in a tone that clearly meant she didn't want to talk about it.

"Why not?!" Kylo asked, a bit shocked that Rey wouldn't use every opportunity to learn ways to increase her strength, to beat him, or to try and sever the bond for good. However, almost as soon as he asked, he knew why she didn't... And he felt bad for asking.

"I don't- I can't read very well," she admitted, staring at her hands. "I can read a little, but those books have far too many words that I just don't understand," she explained further, looking back up at him.

"And this is why you need a teacher... if only you knew  _someone_  who shared the same burden of being force-sensitive... who knew how to read these things... Maybe  _that_  person would help you if you asked very,  _very_  nicely..."

Rey crossed her arms and half-glared at him. "I think that you're still desperate to teach me, so I don't think I have to ask at all!"

"I'm not desperate, sweetheart!" He said condescendingly. "I'm willing to help you reach your full potential."

"So, you're just being completely selfless and helping  _me_? I don't believe you..."

"I really have no ulterior motives here," Kylo told her honestly. "Is it so hard to believe that I just want to help you... and maybe spend more time with you." He nervously ran his hand through his hair.

"Don't you have a galaxy to ruin? I mean, run?" Rey still didn't want to believe him.

"Fine. If you prefer to remain illiterate..." He ignored her insult, knowing that she was just deflecting her own insecurities but made sure to press her on it.

"Ugh! Fine! Please teach me to read the Jedi texts," she said with zero enthusiasm.

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" He rewarded her with his usual smug smile.

Rey shook her head at him but couldn't contain her smile. She practically leapt off the bed, went to the books, grabbed the one that interested her most, and returned to Kylo. She pushed the book into his hands and scooted herself to sit next to him. Closely, so she could see everything he was about to teach her. He smiled at her eagerness to learn, and they began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, Kylo Ben? Good things can happen when you listen to Luke! I like the idea of him still being hung up on wanting to be her teacher. Total Aladdin-esque "I can show you the world" vibe. Which, Adam made the most adorable Aladdin on SNL!


	10. Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do
> 
> Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you
> 
> Is it the look in your eyes, or is it this dancing juice
> 
> Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you
> 
> ("Marry You" Bruno Mars)
> 
> 'Tis the wedding of the year, and you're all invited! Hold onto your butts, this is gonna be a bumpy ride... I'm going with a few wedding "norms" that us Americans have because they're basically going to Hawaii in my head! ;-)
> 
> WARNING: smutty words ahead... (like the c-word)! *gasp*

* * *

Getting to the wedding was a bit tedious and complicated, as they switched starships three times to ensure they wouldn't be followed coming or going. Luckily, it was also uneventful. This gave Leia plenty of time to describe the planet and family they were visiting.

"The climate is very warm, with a nice ocean breeze. The ladies will be happy to hear that there is no humidity, so your hair and makeup should stay perfectly intact!" She gave Rey, Rose, and Conni a wink. "We're headed to a beach surrounded by ocean, obviously, and lush forest."

"Great... I'll find myself, once again, in a forest with Kylo Ren..." Rey mumbled under her breath. Of course everyone heard her, but Leia decided to continue on.

"The Tolosa family is a royal one. I grew up a princess, and Cecil grew up a prince. He shocked everyone in his court by marrying a commoner, Marieta. They had a daughter, Cecily, about three years after Han and I had Ben. We would joke about arranging their marriage. Though, it became clearer as they got older that would  _not_  be the case. They frequently complained that the other was 'gross'." Leia smiled lightly at her memories. "Cecily was a charming and popular little thing. Ben was... well,  _not_  those things. Though, they  _were_  friends until he... Anyway, I think he'll be there." She sounded certain in this, ensuring their plan would work.

"When was the last time you saw Cecil?" Conni spoke up, uncomfortable with discussion of 'Ben.'

"It will have been nearly fifteen years ago. Han and I had become good friends with Cecil and Marieta that we even spent time with her 'commoner' family. Han liked socializing with 'regular' people, insisting it was good for Ben. Unfortunately, Marieta's sister, her husband, and their child went missing while on a trip. They were never recovered, so they were unable to have a proper funeral and had a memorial service instead. I'm glad to be going back for a happy occasion." Leia then turned her full attention to Poe and Finn. "Which reminds me, when you see Ben- I refuse to call him by  _that_  name- you will not engage in any sort of fight! You will keep to your task of planting a tracker and let Rey handle him. That's an order! I will not allow for Cecily's wedding to be ruined, even if they  _are_  in on the plan." She then looked at Rey, "I'm not sure how he's going to behave, but handle him as peacefully as possible. Please."

They all nodded their agreement to Leia. Poe and Finn, begrudgingly. Rey, earnestly.

* * *

Rey sat at her party's table. Alone, sipping on her second glass of wine. The marriage ceremony completed without a single interruption, and they were past the meal at the reception. Everyone else was dancing. Finn with Rose. Poe with Conni. Even Leia was dancing with her childhood friend, Cecil. Rey sat with her chin in her hand watching. Smiling.

She began to feel comfortable. That she could let her guard down a bit.  _He_  probably wasn't coming. She picked up a log-shaped pastry from her plate and devoured it.

"Slow down, Freckles. You'll choke!" Poe teased as he and Conni plunked down in their chairs at the table. They each grabbed their water to chug it down. This planet was hot!

"Oh, I don't have a gag reflex," Rey told them innocently.

Poe spit his water out, while Conni choked on hers. They were  _not_  so innocent and their minds immediately wandered to dirty thoughts.

"What's wrong with you two?" Finn asked, joining the table with Rose in tow.

Poe and Conni looked at each other. "Oh, you know, just Rey and her weird sense of humor..." Poe said.

"I wasn't trying to be funny... I really don't have a gag reflex! I think that's because of all the food I ate was very dry and pretty gross compared to this..." She picked up another pastry.

Poe and Finn shared a glance before finding their drinks incredibly interesting. Rose let out a small giggle. Conni took another sip to help her coughing.

"What?" Rey asked, perplexed that her friends were acting so strangely.

"Oh, look!" Poe said loudly, trying to steer away from the topic. "The bride is about to throw the bouquet. Get on up there, single ladies!"

"What?..." Rey began to ask but was pulled away by Rose and Conni. They were getting a bit tired of having to explain  _every_  social working to Rey.

"Just try to catch the flowers when she throws them," Rose told Rey pointing to the bride, who was situating herself on the stage where the band had been playing.

Rose had no way of knowing that Rey would take catching the flowers seriously. She leapt over everyone else and snatched them from the air. Ok, Rose had a  _small_  idea that this would happen.

"Ha! I got them!" Rey said triumphantly. "What now? Did I win something?"

"Yeah. A dance," Conni said a bit glumly. She obviously wanted to catch the flowers, so Rey was careful not to rub it in that she was the victor.

Soon, all of the single men took to the empty floor. More than a few glanced nervously at Rey. She, of course, hadn't a clue why. Rose, reading the situation, helpfully explained that whoever caught the garter- which she had to explain further- would dance with Rey. This made Rey feel immediately self-conscious, and she was about to protest that she didn't want to dance when a cheer sounded out. Poe. Of course Poe caught it! He was by far the most athletic man there. Rey felt a bit more comfortable knowing she would at least be dancing with a friend.

Poe gave her a goofy smile, and she took his offered hand to begin the dance. His dancing style was much different from Ben's, no surprise there. Poe improvised a lot and spent most of the time spinning her around. They laughed, and he encouraged her to make up some of her own moves. She did her best, remembering Ben's words that dancing isn't a life or death situation. She just had fun.

After their dance was over, Poe went back to Conni for more dancing. Rey needed a drink of water. The alcohol, heat, and spinning around made her feel a bit dizzy. She returned to her empty table and chugged a full glass down. Very ladylike...

"May I have this dance?" A familiar voice from behind her asked. It wasn't the one she had been waiting for. In fact, she rather hoped she'd never have to hear it again!

Rey turned to face Tristan, crossing her arms. "Aren't you supposed to be off being a complete creep with your friends? Why are you here?"

"I should ask a dirty rat like you the same question... but you're probably gold-digging with your virginal little cunt."

Rey'smouth hung open in shock. Leave it to Tristan to use such language to and about her...

" _Excuse_  me?! You better leave me alone, or I'll make you regret stepping foot on this planet," she warned him, walking away from her table and the dance floor to avoid a scene. Well, in case she had to knock his ass out. Again.

"My offer still stands," he told her, keeping in stride with her.

"You're disgusting!" She exclaimed over her shoulder as she kept moving.

"Oh, come one. You can't be that virtuous. Suck a cock to save your friends. It's not difficult."

She stopped to face him and to give a furious retort, but he took that as a chance to brush her hair off of her shoulder. She violently smacked his hand away.

"Don't touch me! Leave me alone! This is your last warning!"

Tristan, of course, ignored her and gave her ass a slap. Before even another breath could be taken, a fist collided with Tristan's nose. He stumbled back, and Finn went at him again.

"We warned you," Poe's voice spoke from behind Rey. "Every bone. Finn started with the nose. Maybe I'll break every finger next..." He contemplated.

Tristan kicked at Finn to get him to back off. Finn grabbed his leg and flipped him face down into the sand.

"Ok, ok! Enough!" Rey grabbed Finn's arm to pull him away. "Leia said no fighting!"

"You've been saved by an angel, boy!" Poe taunted, backing away.

Finn was fuming and had no intention of backing down. "Hey!" Rey said, still pulling him back and trying to get his attention. "Ignore this vile little gremlin, and come dance with me. Please...?"

Finn looked at her, down at a bloody-nosed Tristan, and back to her. "Fine," he replied. However, he kicked sand into Tristan's eyes before returning back to the dance floor.

It was a slow song, so Rey and Finn were able to peacefully sway to the music. Although their plan in baiting Kylo Ren wasn't going to work out, she was happy they all got a bit of time away from the Resistance. They at least got one night of normalcy, and Rey got to live a few hours of a different life.

_Now all the shapes I know are gone_

_Charts and maps I've drawn just get me lost_

_And I'm falling off the edge_

The song seemed to float around them, and Rey rested her chin on Finn's shoulder to gaze at the crowd behind him. It was then when she locked eyes with  _him_. Ben.

_And you make me want to change with the look on your face_

_'Cause I miss you, babe_

_But I can't stay_

_Not one more kiss_

_Not one more fix_

_Not one more minute_

_One more night_

She had completely given up on him coming, which made her feel relaxed. Now that he was here, she didn't feel the way she thought she would. Rey just knew she'd feel nervous, but she didn't. She stared into his eyes and knew this was going to be easy.

_So I surrender_

_This is the moment I surrender_

_Even now, let it in_

_Oh Lord, I surrender_

Rey stopped dancing. How long had he been here? What had he seen? Where the heck had he been?

"Rey?" Finn inquired to her not dancing with just the use of her name.

She tore her eyes away from tall, dark, and handsome to focus on her friend. Rey smiled to keep Finn calm. "It's time to put that plan in motion."

"Ren is here? Man can't even be on time-"

"Focus," she instructed. "You're going to calmly get Poe, and I'm going to calmly walk towards that forest. No scenes. No fighting."

Finn nodded, forcing a smile. He feared that Kylo would figure out that something was amiss. He needed to seem normal, casual.

"Keep it together," Finn said quietly.

"I'm fine," Rey reassured him.

"I was talking to myself."

Rey couldn't help the laugh that escaped her. She pulled Finn in for a hug, and he whispered "be safe" before releasing her and asking her if she needed a drink. She played along and nodded. He then calmly walked toward the bar, trying to catch Poe's eye.

Rey didn't really focus on whether or not Poe caught on. She had one mission. She found him again and they once again locked eyes. She slowly began walking towards the forest. He mirrored her movement. They held each other's gaze the whole time, staying apart but heading in the same direction. The both reached the treeline at the same time, but they were about 20 paces apart. Rey took a deep breath and then took off into the forest. Kylo, of course, gave chase.

She ran with all her might, and he predictably followed where she went. Rey knew she didn't have much time, so she zigzagged around trees to slow him down and led him deeper into the lush green woods. When she felt that she was far enough into the forest, and when he was about to catch her, she stopped and turned to face him.

Kylo expected a fight, so he ignited his lightsaber. Fear quickly swept across Rey's face as she eyed his glowing red weapon. He realized that she was unarmed and had not intended to fight him. Kylo extinguished his saber and instead of fighting asked, "why did you run? I thought we were past that." He closed the distance between them, leaving them barely six inches apart.

Rey knew that he would be able to see right through her if she tried to lie, so she answered honestly. "I needed to lure you away from the crowd. I knew you'd follow me if I ran." She gave him a small smile, hoping to convey that this wasn't a trap. Well, not one really for  _him_.

Kylo's eyes scanned his surroundings,expecting that damn pilot or the traitor to ambush him at any moment. Rey saw that her smile did nothing to comfort him, so she clarified, "I wanted  _us_  to be alone..."

She curled her fingers into the chest of his tunic and pulled him forward to close the distance between them. She was fully aware that he was letting her do this, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to budge his hulking frame. Rey ran her hands up Kylo's chest and gently wrapped her arms behind his neck. For his part, Kylo was still frozen in place. Arms at his sides. Hands balled in fists, as usual. She could tell he was holding back from some sort of action, but she didn't care. She had wanted to do this for a while now...

Rey lifted up onto her toes and kissed him. It was more ferocious than she had planned, but the combination of her want and the need to successfully distract him caused her to go a little too far with her wandering hands. He pushed her away, a bit shocked at her forwardness and trying to control his own desires.

She was thoroughly embarrassed, misinterpreting this as him not wanting her. She's not good enough. She's nothing, including to him. Rey turned to run again, tears stinging her eyes.

"Wait!" He demanded softly. "I wasn't expecting that."

Rey turned to him. Kylo pulled her back to him and gave her the kiss he had been holding back for so long. Since Snoke's throne room. Ok, since her little hut. Well, the interrogation? Takodona. If he was completely honest with himself, he had wanted to kiss her the instant he saw her.

Rey's courage returned, and she pressed herself into him completely. Kylo had always acted the part of the dominating dangerous seducer, but when it came down to it, all of the repressed sexual yearning overpowered them both. She pushed him down, practically attacking him. He, of course, let her. Their lips were inseparable, save a few breathy moans and actual need for air here and there. Rey reached in between them to fiddle with his pants, trying to free his erection. She failed. He helped.

Kylo let Rey take the lead at first, but he knew that if this was going to happen  _he'd_  be the one on top! So he tried to shift their positions in the most seamless fashion; however, this just resulted in them bumping heads.

"Ow!" She groaned.

"Sorry... I just- I'm trying to- can we just switch?" He got to the point.

"Why? You have to be on top? I mean, that's fine, but if you try to hold me down-"

"No!" He sounded insulted. "No," he repeated softer. "I wouldn't do that. I just think I'll... do a better job? If I'm on top."

Rey agreed to switch, but once she was under Kylo she felt vulnerable. "I've never done this," she blurted out. "I thought you should know."

"I can kind of tell..." He told her. "Me neither," he quickly added. "This would be it..."

"We're so romantic," she smiled up at him and pulled him back into a kiss. He let out what could be mistaken for a quick amused "ha" against her lips.

Kylo deepened the kiss to get them back in the right mindset. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip, wordlessly requesting access to her mouth. She complied. He let his tongue slip in and dance with hers. Although Kylo had not had sex yet, he  _had_  done plenty of other things. Like, almost everything besides actual penetration. So he still knew what to do to make Rey squirm with delight and anticipation, especially once his hand found its way up her dress. He didn't think he could get harder, but she wasn't wearing panties.

Rey jolted away from his touch at first. No one had ever touched her there before. Heck, she had barely touched herself! However, his touch was so, well, pleasurable. Everything about him- his hands on her skin, his kiss, his body pressed into hers- it all felt  _right_. Like this was exactly what they were supposed to be doing. It was strange and made them both vulnerable, but they trusted each other. She only felt a slight burning pain at first but then it felt incredible.  _He_  felt incredible!

Rey felt the pleasure building before she felt she couldn't stand it any longer, then she slipped over the edge. "Ben" was the name on her lips, and there were no complaints about that from him. However, Kylo found himself with one problem. He hadn't cum yet, and he felt like he needed a bit more time than she might have been ready for.

Kylo gently rocked into her, hoping she wouldn't say anything. No such luck.

"What are you doing?" She sounded genuinely curious.

"I haven't... you know... I held back to make sure you would but now I can't. I need- ah- to keep going..."

Rey just nodded at him. The majority of stories she had heard was the other way around- the man usually finished first leaving the woman wanting more. She knew she should feel lucky. Though it still felt good, the soreness was building, along with her second orgasm, and she wasn't sure how long she was going to last. Not to mention, her friends had better not come looking for her!

Rey found herself moaning "Ben" once more, but he covered her mouth with his lips this time. Kisses drowning out the name he hated so much. Soon he was moaning into her mouth, finding his own release. He smiled against her lips then pressed his forehead to hers.

"Well, that unexpected!" He breathed out.

"Was it, though?" She questioned.

"Yes. We went from moving backwards to sprinting ahead. I had  _hoped_  I'd get here one day, but I did  _not_  think that today would be  _one day,_ " he admitted.

"Oh, well, this was my whole plan all along," she told him with a smile. "I was born to seduce you!"

A flashback skittered across his mind, " _I will not be seduced_." Well, he failed at that. And he was more than ok with it!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every Reylo story I have read (unless it's a Dom/Sub situation) has them orgasming together during sex, and its some magical thing that they're both great at. Especially on their first time. I tried to make this a bit more realistic... well, awkward! Let's face it, these two would probably be awkward. ;-) I'm not great at writing sexy-time, so this is about the level of smut to expect. There will be no "purple-headed love warrior" language.
> 
> This was waaaay longer. I cut it in half. The second half wasn't complete yet, and I'm going on vacation so I wanted to get something out. There really won't be an update for more than a week!
> 
> Fun fact: Tolosa was the Roman name for Toulouse in France. Reading a good book that takes place in the area, so I stole it to be a last name x


	11. Betrayed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where it really gets bumpy. All kinds of feels going on! Hope y'all don't get whiplash... Also, smutty words. It's becoming the norm at this point...
> 
> Look into my eyes  
> Tell me what you see  
> I see a man who thought you loved me  
> You played me like a fool but I see right through you  
> I look into your eyes  
> I'll tell you what I see  
> I see a girl who ran game on me  
> Thought you had me fooled but I see right through you
> 
> ("See Right Through You" NSYNC)

* * *

Poe noticed Finn trying to subtly get his attention and walked to the bar to meet him.

"Ren's here," he told him immediately.

"Where?" Poe asked without taking his eyes off of Finn's.

"Already following Rey to the forest."

"Good," Poe said, though his tone sounded like he believed anything but!

"Let's get Rose and Conni, find Ren's ship, and get those trackers onboard. We'll tell Leia to wait at our ship for a quick escape."

"I have a feeling that this sounds a lot simpler that it will actually be..."

"As long as Rey does her part and gives us plenty of time!" Poe said seriously. They both doubted that Rey would be able to find something to do to keep Kylo Ren busy for the needed amount of time, but they had to have faith in her.

* * *

Kylo helped Rey to her feet. He situated himself. She started righting her dress, and he gingerly brushed the forest floor off the back of it.

"You look really pretty, by the way," he commented awkwardly.

Rey snorted her laughter. Kylo stopped his movements and stared at her like he had said something wrong. Again. "Oh! You seriously mean that! I looked better a few minutes ago..." She smiled at him and moved closer to wrap her arms around his torso, resting her head on his chest.

Kylo ran his fingers through her hair. He knew he shouldn't ask her. He knew, deep down, what her answer would be. But, they had just connected on a different level, and now he felt that he needed her more than ever. He gave in, despite his better judgement.

"Please come with me," he murmured into her hair. "Be mine. Rule with me." Rey stiffened in his arms.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't belong to anyone. You know I don't like-"

"Be mine as much as I'm already yours," he amended, explaining his true feelings further.

This gave her pause. She knew what he meant, she just didn't like the possessive words. Their  _hearts_  belonged to each other, now he wanted the rest of her.

"You know I can't go with you anymore than you can stay with me. Unless... do you  _want_  to stay with me?" She asked hopefully.

He pulled away to look into her eyes. "You know I can't. I'm not giving up everything I've worked and sacrificed for to join the Resistance.  _I'm_  the only thing keeping the First Order from crushing you all!"

"Then, we have our answers," she stated. Because of the look on his face, she then added, "We love each other. We'll figure it out. We  _will_  be together... eventually."

Rey was so hopeful and positive that Kylo both loved and hated her for it. Though, he considered her words and nodded. He leaned down and kissed her. They kissed each other like it was their last kiss, but they both knew it wouldn't be. Kylo was already wondering if sex was possible through their bond...

They made their way back through the forest. Slowly. They knew they were going their separate ways. Neither wanted to, so they took their time. They took turns stopping the other to steal a kiss. Once out into the clearing, Kylo took her into his arms for the last time to kiss her with all he had.

A warning shot sounded out. Kylo and Rey jumped apart. Rey spun around to see Finn, who stood about twenty yards away, aiming his blaster at Kylo's head. Poe, Rose, and Conni weren't far behind him. Rose and Conni shared a look of almost pity with Rey. Poe, remembering Leia's orders and that their plan required Kylo Ren to leave unscathed, walked to stand by Finn.

"You have to lower your weapon," he whispered. "You could hit Rey."

"Finn!" Rey called, panicking ever so slightly. "This wasn't part of the plan!" As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew she had made a  _ **huge**_  mistake.

"Plan?" Kylo questioned in a deadly tone.

Rey immediately turned to face him. "I can explain-"

"No," he held up a hand. "I understand  _everything_  perfectly.  _I'm_  an idiot and  _you're_  a whore. Giving yourself to me to allow your friends time to ambush me. Just tell me, is this a capture or a murder?" His black eyes glared at her, and she could feel the darkness in the force rising.

"It's  _not_  like that! Ben, please don't-"

"Don't you dare call me that!" He seethed.

Finn noticed Kylo's anger rising and feared for Rey's safety, so he fired. Rey, desperate to save the man she loved tapped into an ability she had never used before. She stopped the blast before it could reach Kylo.

"Go!" She told him. "I don't know how long I can hold it!"

Kylo did as he was told and moved. He then used his immense power to freeze everyone at the wedding. With Rey's power neutralized, the blast continued into the forest, hitting a tree.

"I'm through with your betrayals. We've resumed being enemies. The next time you see me, well, I won't be nice." He told her, barely containing his rage.

Kylo stalked in the direction of his ship. He passed a few wedding guests without a glance their way, but as he got closer to Tristan he ignited his lightsaber. He said nothing to the man as he sunk his blazing weapon into his chest. He gave Rey one last look over his shoulder then headed out of sight.

They knew he was gone when his power faded and they could all move. Rey stared at Tristan's dead body. She didn't know whether to be horrified or flattered that he still seemingly cared enough to protect her. This still didn't make her feel better. How had everything changed so quickly? They had just made a sort of peace, and she had gone and torn it apart. Again.

Rey felt firm hands on her shoulders, and looked into Poe's frantic eyes. "Rey! We have to go! Now! He's probably sending ships this way right this minute! Rey!" He shook her lightly.

She nodded and allowed him to pull her away. Finn, Rose, and Conni were already at their ship with Leia. Poe released Rey's hand once inside and made his way to the cockpit. Finn followed him, but he shot a glare in Rey's direction before doing so. Rose took over care of a dazed Rey and guided her to a seat. Leia, who hadn't a clue of what happened, was worried that her son had harmed Rey in some way.

"What happened?" Leia inquired, joining the girls.

Rey began to silently cry. "I hurt him. I know because I feel it too. It's in the force...between us." The tears took over before any further explanation could be given.

"There was a standoff," Rose began, her answer a bit more informative. "Finn tried to shoot Kylo, Rey saved Kylo, Kylo killed Tristan and left, and now we're fleeing for our lives."

"Apparently, there's more to the story," Conni added, glancing at Rey. "But that's what  _we_  witnessed."

"I... did something stupid." Rey spoke up, guilt stricken.

"What did you do?" Rose  _needed_  to know. She had an idea, based on Kylo calling Rey a whore, but she still needed to hear it from Rey.

Rey had a hard time voicing what had occurred, especially with Leia there, but she did. She knew that Rose and Conni had guessed what had happened. Finn and Poe, too.

"I love him. I've loved him this whole time," Rey confessed, dabbing her eyes with a tissue Rose gave her. "I knew there was still good in him. I wanted to help him. Now, I've ruined everything we've worked through."

"Rey, do you really think all is lost with him?" Rose questioned.

"He thinks I lured him with sex to either have him captured or killed. I'd say, yes. Yes, all is lost. I'm sure he despises me. He should. Although I didn't lure him for those reasons, I  _did_  lure him here and took advantage of his trust in me."

"You were protecting you friends. Yourself," Conni rationalized. "Now we will be able to keep track of the First Order."

"I just did what I accused him of doing! I played with his feelings. I broke his heart," she sobbed. "He'll never forgive me for this. I know him well enough to know that he'll come at us with all he's got!"

Leia was shocked (that escalated quickly) but thrilled to learn that that Rey loves her son.

"I made plenty of mistakes with Ben. The biggest mistake was not talking  _to_  him about him. Things happen that can be misunderstandings. Like what you said Luke did, and what Ben perceived... Maybe if you just talk to him.  _Tell_  him we planted a tracker. We planted four, it won't hurt if he finds one. Earn his trust back. You're the only one who can do it."

* * *

"Wow, Ren. I'm impressed," Hux stated, genuinely taken with the man's plan. "That's cruel and heartless, even by my standards! Especially if, as you claim, that Jedi  _rat_  loves you."

Kylo had finally disclosed his plan to Hux. He took that step and there was no going back now. Rey's actions made him furious and he was bathed in dark force power.

"This will break the Resistance, and their 'last hope' Jedi girl! And, I see, you'll get what  _you_  want... a pretty little play thing." Hux dared a smirk at Kylo before adding, "Personally, I think this is still too good a fate for Snoke's killer... but I have definitely underestimated your creativity."

Kylo ignored Hux's flattery and opinions. He needed to focus now on finding Rey. He didn't even really care about the remnants of the Resistance, for the moment. Everything was about Rey. Just as it had been about Luke. He felt like such a fool! He fell for her trickery, actually believing that one day she would choose to be with him over everything else. Now there was nothing but the overwhelming need to both destroy and possess her. They were back to the beginning. However, there was one small, or maybe not so small, change. He had been inside her. This moment of intimacy had caused a shift in their force bond, and he knew that their connection had grown.

The evolution in their connection was confirmed upon their next bond... Their most recent force bond had pulled him into her world, so to speak. He had seen her complete surroundings. He was going to will himself to her once again, but this time with the intention of catching her surroundings outside of her bedroom so that he would know her location.

Kylo stood in his room, closed his eyes, and focused on her. His mind immediately wandered to the taste of her kiss, how her body felt, her smell, the sound of her moaning his given name... His eyes opened when he heard her gasp.

Rey was only in her undergarments from the wedding, a pushup bralette and skirt slip. It seemed that he caught her in the middle of changing. Seeing her like this triggered unwelcome feelings within him. He fought them away, and replaced them with anger.

Rey stood before him with wide eyes, sudden shyness coloring her cheeks due to her current state of undress. His gaze was like the one immediately after he defeated the last guard in the throne room- ferocious and hungry for her.

"Where am I?" An echo of the first words she ever uttered to him. "Is this your room?" she asked cautiously.

"It is," he confirmed, disappointed that this bond session didn't work out the way he had hoped. That didn't stop him from getting to the reason for summoning her. "Tell me where you are, and I will spare their lives," he bargained. "Or, you could come to me... Surrender to me and, again, I may decide to be merciful."

"You know I'll never tell you. I'll never give up my friends, the only family I've ever really known. You also know that I won't surrender." Rey wrapped her arms around herself as a sort of shield. She was unsure as to why this was his first request of her instead of why she used him.

Kylo took a step forward, now towering over her to look down into her hazel eyes. "I do know, but I had hoped... You know I'll find you. You know I can see your surroundings, just as you can now see mine. Why delay the inevitable?"

"What do you want from me?" she asked exasperated.

"Everything," he replied with no hesitation.

"I can't give you everything."

" You know that I can take whatever I want. "

"We're back to that now, are we?"

Kylo sighed, and gently stroked her cheek with a gloved hand. "I fear, sweetheart, that we  _are_  back to the beginning."

His cryptic words did nothing to comfort Rey. "Are you going to render me unconscious and interrogate me?" She asked sarcastically.

"As enjoyable as it would be to have you strapped down..." the sexual implications were clear "...I do have other plans for you." He admitted seriously.

"I've told you that I will  _not_  rule with you-"

"Oh, I thoroughly understand that, my love. Now more than ever. You're not the only one who can scheme against her lover, if that's even what I am to you because I'm really not sure where I stand." His anger was building, and his fingertips rested on her throat. "You claim to love me, you let me fuck you... is 'lover' a title you can live with? I know you don't desire me to be your partner, or worse,  _husband_. I'm too dark and evil for that!"

Rey didn't think her eyes could go wider. They did. She felt him spiraling into his usual defense mechanism of dark rage. She needed to stop him, needed to make him understand.  _She_  felt guilty for luring  _him_ and was desperate to have her Ben back. "I didn't lure you with sex to be killed or captured or anything really... I didn't plan what happened between us... You were just  _there_! And I just  _wanted_  you!" She spoke quickly, afraid that he would interrupt.

Kylo felt relief to know that she did want him too, that she wasn't using sex as a ploy. He was the slightest bit ashamed that he had thought that of her. "But you  _did_  betray my trust, and it  _was_  your intention to get me to that wedding," he pointed out, the gloved hand now making its way to her hips.

"Yes..." She admitted, doing her best to ignore his movements and her spreading desire for him to touch her everywhere. "And I'm sorry. It really wasn't about you, specifically. Until Finn made it that way..."

"Ah, your friends. I take it they know about our  _intimate_  moment..." He pressed his body into hers. He really needed to learn to control his desires better.

"They do," she confirmed and added, "so does your mother." She wasn't sure how he'd take  _that_ , but he answered the fact with a smirk.

"I hope I didn't cause any  _trouble_  for you..." He remarked sarcastically. She decided not to dignify that with an answer.

"So... these plans for me..." Rey started with her hands at his belt and ran them up his hard abdomen to his broad chest. "Will I enjoy them?"

Damn woman already knew how to weaken his resolve to be domineering with her. He swallowed and worked his mouth, trying to maintain control. "Most decidedly not," he told her, staring into her eyes. Hopefully she would take him seriously.

Her hands made it up to wrap behind his neck. Her lips found the spot where his jaw met his ear. "Do you want to continue our truce from the forest?" She murmured against his skin.

"Oh, absolutely not. You know me better than that. You have lost my trust completely," he told her, resisting giving into her with every fiber of his being.

However, her seduction was having the desired physical effects. Kylo turned his head to kiss Rey, but she stopped him with her hand over his mouth. "Then, what is this?"

Kylo couldn't help a chuckle at his (still) naive girl. "Like I've mentioned, I'm furious with you but I  _want_  you." She still looked confused. "Again..." he attempted to clarify without having to implicitly mention sex. She got it this time.

For Rey, she was having a hard time reconciling that this man had claimed to be her enemy once again with him still desiring her. To add fuel to this horrible idea of a fire, their first act had awoken desires in her that reduced her to a lustful teenager at his touch. This was a bad idea.

"I don't trust you either," she tried, pathetically.

"You shouldn't." At this, he scooped her up and unceremoniously deposited her onto his bed.

Kylo stood back to rid himself of his gloves and all clothing covering his top half. He kicked off his boots but hesitated when it came time to remove his pants. He studied her face, giving her time to say that she didn't want this. When Rey just stared back at him, waiting for him to continue, he obliged.

"I  _was_  curious to see if our force bond would last long enough for me to properly make love to you..." He mentioned, ridding himself of the last of his clothing.

Rey suppressed a smile, not looking where she  _really_  wanted to. "There are sooo many things I could say to that..."

Kylo joined her on the bed. "Like what?" He smiled mischievously, pulling her slip off of her.

"You're just trying this out for scientific reasons..." she teased. He nodded. "And I, too, am wondering if the force can last as long as you can..." She laughed. "For scientific reasons, of course." He kissed her neck while fumbling with her bralette. "And! Are you suggesting,  _Supreme_   _Leader_ , that you didn't make love to me properly the first time?" She placed a hand on his cheek, effectively stopping his movements and making him look her in the eye. "Because you did," she said softly.

A small smile played on his lips, and he leaned down to kiss her gently. "I really hate that you make it impossible for me to stay angry with you," he murmured against her lips. "You must know I'm desperately in love with you."

"I had an idea..." She laughed as his lips found her neck again.

Kylo guided Rey to lie down, positioning himself between her thighs. He held his weight on his forearms, which bracketed her head. He kissed her again.

"For science," he smirked.

"For science," she repeated, pulling him back down to devour his mouth.

What sounded like a growl escaped from Kylo, and he slid one of his hands down her body. He wanted to stop to play with her nipples, but his mind was currently focused on one area of her. She was soaked. He enjoyed playing with her, sliding two fingers into her. She moaned into his mouth. He wanted to voice his dirty thoughts but wasn't sure what her reaction would be so held off.

"Aaah, Ben!" She couldn't hold back. "Please. I. Need. You."

"Me?" He was confused. "You have me."

"Inside. Me. Idiot." She gasped as he crooked his fingers to stroke her just right.

"I am inside you." He was playing now. He pulled his hand away and couldn't help licking his fingers. Rey look thoroughly embarrassed. Kylo smirked, as he so often did nowadays. He firmly held his cock and rubbed his tip against her slippery entrance.

"Stop teasing me!" She demanded and tried to grab at him herself.

"Uh-uh! You don't get to control this. I'm in control here. My room. My rules."

"Well, you may want to speed up since we don't know how long this bond-"

He thrust into her to shut her up. She moaned loudly. He covered her mouth with his, loving the feeling of her moaning into his mouth. He basked in the pleasure of being in control. For her, this was the only time she wanted him in control. Rey didn't want to be dominated, but she definitely wanted him to take the lead when it came to sex.

Kylo was so gentle with her their first time. This, however, was completely different. The potential limited time together and his change of heart caused him to follow his own instincts with no regard for her. Luckily for Rey, Kylo was a natural long distance man. Even though he was pounding into her sore cunt, the pleasure overrode any discomfort. She lost control of her voice, moaning "Ben" quite loudly. Kylo was tempted to cover her mouth with his hand to both muffle to noise and to stop hearing  _that_  name. Why, for once, couldn't she just call him Kylo?! He'd have to politely request it for next time.

"Aaahh! Ben, I'm going to cum!" Rey managed to gasp out, then she continued moaning. Kylo couldn't help his own moaning, but it was mainly fuck-words. He appreciated how sensitive she was at orgasming quickly. If they had more time, he would love to try to give her as many orgasms as possible...until she begged him to stop.

Kylo wanted as much skin-on-skin contact as possible as he felt his orgasm building. He had promised in the forest that he wouldn't hold her down, but he couldn't make that promise now. His feelings of wanting to possess every inch of her took over. Both of his hands took hers to place them by her head, he interlaced his fingers with hers, pressed her into his mattress, and fucked into her with abandon, chasing his orgasm.

There were no complaints from Rey. She was too blissed out from her own orgasm to realize his domination, not that she would even mind at this point. Now that she was coming down from her orgasm, the only thing Rey wondered was that since she was in Ben's bed, could she be heard from hers? Could he?

Kylo gave one final thrust and filled her with his seed. Ugh. Cum.  _Seed_  was too biological. He was as careful as possible to not crush her, but he collapsed on her all the same. It took only a few moments before he rolled off of her and pulled her into him, Rey nuzzling into his chest.

"Next time I want to make that dream come true," he told her, stroking her hair.

"Which one?" She asked him innocently, knowing the answer but wanting him to explain further.

Kylo kissed Rey's hairline. "I want to taste you. I want to see how many times I can make you cum with just my tongue."

"I think I'd be ok with that," she said with a smile, closing her eyes.

Kylo could feel her drifting off to sleep. He hugged Rey a bit tighter while he could. He knew this was step one in making her believe that he had softened towards her. She, as it turned out, hadn't used sex against him. However, he sure as hell was going to use it against her, letting her believe that he was wrapped around her little finger. His plan was falling perfectly into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. Tristan got what what was comng to him... Don't mess with Kylo Ben's lady!
> 
> I wanted to explore two "turning the tables" ideas here: 1) Kylo finding out that he got played for a change. 2) Usually, in movies, books, society, how my Catholic nuns make sex "bad" in school, the story goes that the girl feels used after sex. To be honest, I've had plenty of friends with a no-call after! I just wanted that for Kylo Ben. Because I'm mean. :-)
> 
> I'm not a comments whore, but is anyone still reading this? I post this story on Fanfic too. Just wondering if the double post is necessary.


	12. Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What to expect: Rey has to truly face her friends for the first time since they found out about her and Kylo, Kylo has made some pretty careless assumptions about Rey, and Kylo's evil plan has a development.

 

* * *

Rey had fallen asleep in Ben's arms and in Ben's bed. She had woken up, however, alone in her bed. She already missed his warmth. Soon, the realization of facing her friends again had begun to sink in. Her fellow women had been nothing but supportive. The men? Not so much. Although Poe was initially normal with her when fleeing, he apparently spent too much time with a venting Finn because neither of them had spoken to her since!

Rey was determined to not let this affect her friendships. It was just sex, right? No. Not just sex. It was  _love_  and sex. She began to wonder if it was the sex or the fact that she protected Ben that bothered them more... Well, she was going to find out!

She quickly got dressed - in another stupid dress! - and headed to breakfast. She immediately sought out Finn and Poe, but they hurriedly left as soon as they saw her coming. Rey wasn't going to let them out of it that easily. She quickly decided to forgo breakfast in order to catch up to the guys.

"Finn! Poe! Wait!" She called after them.

They had made it as far as the courtyard before she caught up to them.

"What?!" Poe turned, clearly annoyed.

"I- I just wanted to explain. About yesterday," she said timidly.

"There's nothing to explain.  _He_  did it for you. You're a  _whore_  and a  _traitor_!" Finn fired back, anger bubbling over.

Tears immediately sprung to Rey's eyes. She looked down, not ashamed of her actions with Ben but sorry she didn't say something about her feelings for him sooner.

"Your tears have no affect on us. Go cry to your boyfriend, traitor," Poe chimed it, lying of course.

"Please just hear me out. You can still hate me afterwards, but please give our friendship the courtesy of listening and  _trying_  to understand."

Finn and Poe looked to each other, shrugged, and turned their undivided attention to Rey, both crossing their arms over their chest. She inclined her head to get them to follow her to an out-of-the-way corner.

"I just... spent so much time with him through our bond. Beginning when I was with Luke through now. I know a different side of him- the  _real_  him. Ben. He can be kind and caring, teaching me to dance and read. He's never taken advantage of me, never even tried to pry into the affairs of the Resistance. He  _loves_  me."

" _We_  loved you!" She caught the past tense that Finn threw at her. "He is evil incarnate. He tortured Poe. He had an entire village of innocent people killed. On Jakku. It could have easily been you that his firing squad killed!"

Rey couldn't help her gasp.  _That was him?! I heard about it... News, gossip rather, travels fast on Jakku,_  she thought. She chewed her lip for a second. "That feels so long ago now... He's changed.  _I've_  changed. We've all changed!" She said this with complete certainty.

"Why would you give yourself to  _him_?"

It was Rey's turn to be angry. "Let's get one thing straight, neither of you get to  _ever_  comment on my sexual decisions!"

Finn and Poe were a bit taken aback by Rey's sudden anger, but they silently agreed that she had a point.

Not wanting to make-up too soon, Finn continued on, "We heard you. I think we're done here. I, for one, still can't forgive a traitor."

"I actually think that you should leave. You'll bring nothing but danger to us. You said so yourself, he'll come at us with everything he has." Poe added his two cents. "However, that's up to Leia."

"Do you think I should leave, Finn?" Rey asked sadly.

"Yes," he replied, sounding so sure. On the inside he knew he said it just to hurt her.

"Fine," she agreed, "I'll see what I can do about that." Rey quickly turned and left.

Finn and Poe let her leave without a word; however, each of them now had mixed feelings. They still weren't ready to forgive her, but they did understand that love was a funny thing. She didn't ask to be bound to Kylo Ren, and obviously closeness breeds feelings. They could see how it could happen. They just thought she was stronger than that.

* * *

"The boys are just cockwombles! They'll come around eventually!" Conni told Rey, doing her best to make the girl feel better.

"Besides, you got us! And Leia. Don't let two silly boys with bruised egos run you off!" Rose added to the conversation.

Rey had been found sulking while not eating her breakfast, and Rose and Conni insisted on a girls brunch out in the city to get away from the negativity of Finn and Poe. They, of course, had to explain the concept of brunch to Rey.

 _So... it's just a late breakfast?_  Rey had asked.

 _Yeah. Kinda... We mainly go for the booze. Day drinking is the best!_ Conni had explained.

"It's so uncalled for, their rude behavior!" Rose said. "I know they hate Ren, we all do!- he's a shit-"

"Is there a point when you're supposed to be making me feel better?" Rey interrupted.

"Yeah, sorry. The point is that even though Ren is a horrible excuse for a human, we love  _you_. You may make bad decisions-"

"Hey!" Rey was indignant.

"-but you have a good heart, you mean well, you've saved our asses, and maybe you can help  _him_  not suck at life... as much as he does now." Rose finished.

"Uh... Thank you?" Rey sipped her drink, feeling only a tiny bit better.

"Well, we can all agree on one thing about this whole situation... thank the Maker for birth control!" Conni said, making light of the situation.

"Cheers to that!" Rose clinked Conni's glass.

"Birth control?" Rey questioned.

Both girls stare at Rey for a second before Rose started to laugh. "Stop it! That's not funny!"

"I'm not joking." Fear began to rise in Rey. "Is it something I'm supposed to have?"

Rose put her glass down and took Rey's empty hand in both of hers. "Rey... please please tell me you're joking..." Dread was building in Rose and Conni. Rey shook her head.

"Shit!" Conni said and took a big gulp of her beverage.

"Sweetie," Rose began, "birth control prevents you from becoming pregnant and having a baby."

Rey looked a little relieved. "Oh, it's just about babies? Well, don't you have to plan one of those? I should be fine, right?"

"Nooo," Conni shook her head. "No no. That's a big no. Honey, what do they do on Jakku?!"

Rey shrugged. "Not have sex...?"

"And now you  _are_  having sex! Did you not think about this?!" Rose tried, and failed, to hide the panic in her voice.

"I thought you had to plan for a baby!" Rey defended herself. "I mean, you do, right? Don't you have to have sex at a certain time, with a full moon, or something?"

Both girls stared at her like she was the dumbest person that they had ever met.

Conni collected her composure. "Ok. It's ok. You've only done it once. Odds are-"

"Twice," Rey meekly corrected her.

"Ok, we'll get to that... but, more importantly, when was your last bleed?" Conni continued.

Rey shrugged. "Well, I've never had them regularly, but I think last week or so..."

"Well, I guess you'll find out if you've got a little Kylo in you or not in a few days... Or so..." Conni remarked before downing her drink.

"Do you really think I  _could_  be pregnant?" Rey asked her friends, worry clear in her voice.

"Yes," from Rose.

"Definitely," Conni added.

"Great..." Rey mumbled, looking down at her flat stomach. She looked back up at her drink. "I guess I should stop drinking this..."

"Nah, you should chug it!" Conni instructed.

"You better not say a word to that murderer! Not until you know for sure  _and_  if you're going to keep it," Rose told her.

"I would definitely keep it," Rey told her friends without hesitation. She wasn't ready for a baby, and she sure as hell wasn't ready to have one with Ben- Kylo- either one! But, she always desired a family, and since her own dumped her, she liked the idea of creating her own. Not that she wanted to be pregnant right now... because she without a doubt did  _not_!

"You two better not say anything to Finn, Poe, or Leia! Especially since I'm most likely  _not_  pregnant," Rey commanded, hoping to will any possible pregnancy away.

"Oh, hell no! We would never tell anyone! Like we said, us girls stick together. No matter what, we're here for you," Rose told her earnestly. Conni nodded emphatically in agreement.

"Hypothetically... How would one go about telling someone they  _were_  pregnant? I've never know anyone who was pregnant..." Rey said, afraid to go down this road but may as well get the information while they're alone.

"I had a cousin just start asking her husband about which baby names he liked best-"

"Ok, let me rephrase, how would I tell Ben? Finn and Poe? The people who would not be excited... I have a feeling that Leia would be the only one to be thrilled! "

"Can't say we can help you on that one. Just be honest?" Rose suggested. "You may want to slip in some questions to 'Ben' about if he even wants kids..." Rey rolled her eyes at Rose's air quotes.

"So... about this time number two...?" Conni prompted, not wanting think about a possible spawn of Kylo Ren growing inside of her friend's womb.

Rey blushed. "Turns out the force bond can be pretty useful..." She smiled coyly.

The girls giggled. "Is that what the force is supposed to be used for?" Rose teased.

"Of course!" Conni replied. "The light and the dark  _coming_  together!" Pun completely intended. All three girls laughed.

* * *

Evening had fallen, and the palace inhabitants were getting ready for dinner. Rey was  _not_  ready to see Finn and Poe again. Especially after recent developments... She decided to take a walk to clear her head. She let Rose know and headed out to the pond she and the guys had goofed off in weeks ago.

What was she going to do if she was pregnant? There was no way she could help if it did come down to a fight between the Resistance and the First Order. Unlike her useless parents, she would protect this child! How would she tell Ben? Because, she  _would_  tell Ben. This was something she'd never keep secret. How would he react? What if  _he_  didn't want to keep it? What if it made him even more obsessed with having her by his side. Though, wouldn't she  _want_  to be with him if they were having a child?

All these thoughts were giving her a headache. She didn't even know if she was pregnant or not, and she wouldn't know for a little bit longer. Why worry about something that probably wasn't even there?!

Rey was pulled from her thoughts when she felt someone take a seat next to her at the edge of the pond. "Looks a lovely evening in Naboo," Kylo said, but he was looking at Rey.

She hurriedly got to her feet and backed away from him. She was so stupid. Could she not do anything right? How could she be careless enough to be caught in the open by the bond? Now Finn and Poe would really be angry with her!

"You'll be coming here, won't you?" Rey asked but already knew the answer.

"Of course." At least he was honest.

"What if I ask you very nicely to, well, not?"

"I would commend you for doing what you think is your duty, but it would have no affect on my decision." Again, honesty. "As soon as this bond severs, I'll be coming for you."

"Just you?"

"I won't make the same mistake twice."

They stood staring at each other, sizing each other up. Kylo was waiting for her to run tell her friends. Rey tried to think of something she could do or say to change his mind, but she quickly realized that there was nothing that would keep him from coming to Naboo.

"Well, I guess we'll see each other soon," she conceded. "You always warn me that you won't 'be nice' when we next meet. I can play that game too! I won't let you hurt my friends."

Rey looked a lot fiercer than mere moments ago. Kylo found it adorable. " _I_  have no plans on hurting your friends. I'm coming for  _you_ , as I've said numerous times. My soldiers, however, may have other ideas..."

Rey couldn't take it anymore. She tried to hold of as long as possible, but the overwhelming need to warn everybody took hold. She bolted. She could feel the bond server as soon as so took off, which pushed her to run faster than she ever had before. She had never hated these stupid dresses more than she did right now!

She burst into the dining room, trying to catch her breath. "The First Order. They're coming," she managed.

No one asked her a single question. Poe took over immediately, telling people what they needed to do. Rey quickly headed back to her room. She needed her staff, and was going to change into the one outfit with pants- well, they were super tight white leggings- that was given to her. The so-called shirt showed off her full midriff, but it was still better than a dress!

Soon she heard frantic knocks at her door. She opened up to find Rose. "He's here," she said. "I guess he's ahead of his fleet. He seems to be landing out by the pond."

Smart. He knew he'd be within walking distance because he had just seen Rey there.

Rey took a deep breath. "Ok, I'm going to go at least try to get him to have his soldiers stand down. Or, at the very least, buy you all extra time. I'm the distraction, remember?" She smiled weakly.

"Please be careful," Rose said, hugging her friend tightly.

Rey hugged her back. This felt like a goodbye. Though, she was hoping that she could still talk some sense into Ben. She released Rose, gave her a final reassuring smile, and headed to her fate.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think prisoner Padmé during Clone Wars type outfit... Except a midriff shirt on purpose! Ah, Naboo and your impractical clothing!
> 
> Next chapter: Shite gets real!


	13. Destroy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting with a personal note: Guys, I'm sorry to say that Kylo Ren may be dead. After dinner this evening, in my house, he was attacked by Blue and Charlie, the velociraptors. Luckily, Rey and Moana got away thanks to Maui and his hook. #toddlerlife #boymom
> 
> Anyways... I'm going to ask you all to recall chapter 5 and Kylo's trip to see Unkar Plutt. We will finally learn what item he got from Plutt... AND it's finally here: Kylo's devious plan revealed! Get your wine ready! Short chapter, but it felt mean to make you wait any longer.
> 
>  
> 
> But you're just a boy
> 
> You don't understand
> 
> How it feels to love a girl someday
> 
> You wish you were a better man
> 
> You don't listen to her
> 
> You don't care how it hurts
> 
> Until you lose the one you wanted
> 
> 'Cause you've taken her for granted
> 
> And everything you had got destroyed
> 
> But you're just a boy
> 
> ("If I Were A Boy" Beyoncé)

* * *

Kylo watched her flee to warn her friends, and then the bond severed. Then he set off to his own ship, barking orders along the way. Everything was going according to plan. Rey reacted just how he thought she would. Whatever this was between them would be ending soon, one way or another. She'd stand by his side or he'd defeat her. Either way, she'd be coming with him.

He broke through Naboo's atmosphere, knowing exactly where to land. Kylo knew that Rey would easily find him where they had just been through the bond. As he landed, he could see people scrambling around below. Perfect.

His ship found ground. He lowered his ramp and disembarked. Now all he had to do was wait. For her.

* * *

Rey made her way quickly past people while exiting the palace. She hoped that no one tried to stop her, these people being Finn, Poe, or Leia. She needed to get to Ben as quickly as possible.

She headed in the direction of the pond, since that's where Rose said she saw him landing. There was no way of sneaking up on him in that clearing. Not that she was going to anyway... She was in more of a charging at him kind of mood. Especially when she saw him just casually waiting for her.

"You know, you're very predictable," Kylo commented.

"And you're a jerk! So there's that..." She said walking up to him, then stopped right in front of him.

"How does it feel to be tricked?" He eyed her staff.

"Tricked? I don't understand." She was genuinely confused.

"No, you wouldn't. You're so single-minded when it comes to your friends. Protect, protect, protect. This was never about them. It's always been about you and me. Now they're perfectly distracted so I have you all to myself."

Rey was flabbergasted. "There's no fleet coming? They don't have to get ready for an attack?"

"No fleet. No attack."

"That's just silly! You know I would have come to meet you if you had asked."

"Yes, but I wanted  _them_  out of the picture. I wanted them to panic in protecting themselves so that no one will be thinking of you. I didn't want them to know that they could lose you-  _are_  losing you." He told her cryptically.

"Losing me? What do you mean?" She asked, taking a step back. What trust she had in him began to falter.

Kylo gently wrapped his hands around her upper arms, and pulled her back to him. His looked into her eyes and implored, "This is your last chance. I won't make this offer again. Rule with me. Come with me right now."

The danger was back in his voice. However, she couldn't help but think how crap he was at proposals.

"We keep going over this again and again. How many times do I have to say I love you. I do  _want_  to be with you," she said, placing her free hand on his chest, over his heart. "But, you know I cannot accept your offer. Not right now. I have no desire to rule, especially not with the First Order."

Kylo sighed. Rey could tell that it was both out of disappointment and controlling his anger. So, she did what she thought would help most. She kissed him, curling her fingers in his tunic. She wanted to be as close to him as possible. Kylo didn't move, but his grip on her upper arms tighten. Finally, he pushed her away just far enough that she had to stop kissing him. She could see, and feel, him wrestling with himself.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. As soon as she said it, she knew it was the wrong thing to say.

Kylo's body language changed completely. He gazed at her with those dangerous, cold, black eyes.

"Sorry," he repeated. "No, I'm sorry. To ever believe that you could choose me over them. To hope that our love would be enough for you to come with me. That you would willingly stay with me. That I'm going to ruin you."

"What!? Ruin me? What does that even mean?!" Rey asked, keeping the rising fear out of her voice. She tried to take a step back but he held onto her.

"I warned Luke that I would destroy you. He didn't believe me. People can be destroyed in more ways than one. I knew that I could never hurt you, physically anyway."

Destroy?... Her mind went to a saying she had heard once and quite liked the idea of:  _Love is giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting that they won't._  Oh, how she loved him! She was a fool.

"I still don't understand... You're not ruining me... Or destroying me..." Rey was processing out loud.

"I've taken your freedom, my love. You will always be mine, and you can never get away from me," he said all this so simply, in such a matter-of-fact manner. Her fear was growing. He could feel it, and it fed his power through the force.

"I'm your prisoner now, is that it?" Rey asked with tears in her eyes.

"No. Not at all," he stated. She was very confused now. He releived her curiosity quickly though, "You're my slave."

Rey let out a quick breath. "What?!" She choked out.

"I bought you from Plutt. You still, technically, belonged to him. He signed you over to me. I have the paperwork," he stated, very business-like. This  _was_  business, wasn't it?

Rey felt dizzy. Her head was spinning, her heart was breaking. Her whole body tingled in pain. A pain that radiated from her chest.

Kylo went on with his explanation, ignoring the effect this news was having on her. "When we touched hands. I saw who your parents were. I saw them because I watched as they sold you, signing papers, to Plutt. I also saw, or rather knew, that he still owned you. He just let you have freedom, but he never legally gave it to you."

"You. BOUGHT ME!" Rey, for the first time, didn't even feel like crying. Even with a betrayal that cut this deep. She was furious. "This WHOLE time?! You've  _owned_  me?! When we- we-"

"Yes," he confirmed.

She viciously pulled away from him and swung at his head with her staff, letting her anger consume her. His reflexes were better than that, and he easily caught it. However, Rey implemented her favorite move, a swift kick to the chest. The only reason he didn't fall back was his hold on her staff. It finally clicked with Rey that she wouldn't be able to physically fight him without a proper weapon, and her anger was so out of control that she couldn't focus on using the force. She let go of her staff, causing him to stumble, and ran. She wasn't going to be anyone's slave! Not even- especially not-  _his_!

"Rey! Stop!" he shouted after her.

He hadn't expected her to attack him. His own anger was growing towards her as he gave chase. The difference was that the emotion of anger seemingly drained her but fed him. He was quickly within an easy distance to be able to use the force to freeze her movement. Just like their first meeting.

"Sweet little Jedi... I  _have_  been telling you that you were mine all along," he reminded her, approaching her carefully. She said nothing, only glared at him.

Kylo was finished with this and needed to move on. Also like on Takodana, he rendered her unconscious, scooping her into his arms, and made his way to his ship. He placed her gently on his bed, and then headed to the controls. Soon they were off and entered lightspeed before anyone knew the wiser.

Anyone, except Leia. She could feel her son's presence once he had landed. Now she felt his absence, along with Rey's. Not knowing what had happened, Leia could only hope that Rey would find a way to guide Ben back to the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just so so sorry. I warned everyone he'd be worse before he got better. How does one come back from this? I guess we'll see...
> 
> In regards to Rey's possible pregnancy, she's in that super fun two-week window where it's all like "I could be pregnant, but there's really no way of knowing yet." Gotta wait to see if there's a late/missed period. However, seeing what he's done, do y'all still want to add a baby to this mess? ;-)


	14. Owned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I've been having issues with my work saving. I typed this out twice before, but neither time actually saved - it reverted back to my draft. I wanted to cry. Third time's a charm?
> 
> Thanks for all the lovely reviews and kudos. I hope I didn't lose anyone due to Kylo's foolishness... If anything, I feel bad for him! Rey is not down for playing his game.
> 
> I feel like there hasn't been a force dream in a while... so there's that too look forward to... ;-)
> 
>  
> 
> All I know is I'm lost
> 
> And I'm counting the cost
> 
> My emotions are in a spin
> 
> I don't know who to blame
> 
> It's a crime and a shame
> 
> But it's true all the same
> 
> It's a dangerous game
> 
> ("Dangerous Game" Jekyll & Hyde, musicals now!)

* * *

Poe rushed to Leia's room with Finn close on his heels. They were confused. Why did Kylo Ren land on Naboo for a bit, and then leave without attacking? Where were the First Order troops?

"Leia!" Poe knocked on her door. It took no time for her to open it, almost like she had been waiting for him. "Ren is gone."

"He left without attacking, but I wonder if it's a trap!" Finn added. "Maybe they're expecting us to flee and will take us out once we brake the atmosphere."

"No," Leia said simply. "Rey is gone. He took her. I think  _she's_  the only reason he came."

"What?! But he told her  _they_  were coming..." Finn was confused.

"A trick, perhaps. Just as she-  _we_  tricked him." Leia suggested.

"In light of recent developments, maybe he didn't  _take_  her at all. I bet that she willingly left with him," Poe stated his opinion.

"I don't think that Rey would have just left us," Leia disagreed.

Poe and Finn looked at each other, guilt creeping into their expressions.

"What? Did you two do or say something to Rey?" Leia questioned, noticing their changed demeanor.

"We did suggest that she leave..." Poe confessed.

"That wasn't your call to make!" Leia was annoyed.

"We didn't think she'd actually leave. Especially not with  _him_!" Finn told her.

"Rey left with him?!" Rose asked, surprised at the turn of events. She and Conni had also decided to see Leia when the attack never began. Rose and Conni shared a nervous, but knowing, look.

"What was that look? What has Rey told you?" Leia pressed them for information. Poe and Finn were just as curious. All eyes were on them.

"We can't say," Rose answered quickly, awkwardly.

"This is an order. Tell me," Leia demanded.

"Rey might be pregnant," Conni blurted out. Rose slapped her arm.

"WHAT!?" Leia, Finn, and Poe all exclaimed, with varied emotions.

"Maybe we should all sit down," Rose suggested.

"With a strong drink," Conni added.

* * *

_Rey was lounging on a beach with the waves lapping at her bare toes. She looked around and saw her core group of friends. They were laughing and playing in the wake. From behind her, a gaggle of laughing children ran past and into the water. Her friends started playing with the various children._

_Poe picked up a young boy with dark curls and freckled skin and slung him over his shoulder. He ran with him up to Rey and plopped the boy down next to her._

_"Your turn!" He said grinning._

_"Come on, mommy!" The boy said, grabbing her hand and tried to pull her up. "Play with us!"_

_"She's gotta be careful buddy," Poe grabbed her other hand to actually pull her to her feet, "she's got you another brother or sister on the way!" Poe ruffled the boy's hair._

_Rey smiled at the boy and couldn't resist picking him up for a tight hug._

_"Get off! Put me down!"_

_"Put you down?! Ok, then!" And she promptly deposited him in the shallow water._

_"Daddy! Daddy! Me next! Me next!" An even younger blonde little girl came bounding up. Poe bent down and scooped her up and tossed her near the boy._

_"Daredevils. The both of them," Poe commented. Rey smiled._

_The boy emerged from the water. "Why do I need another brother or sister?!" He complained, splashing out of the wake. "I have two already!"_

_"These things happen, buddy!" Poe laughed._

* * *

Rey jolted awake. Was that a dream or a premonition? She was a mom to that little boy. He wasn't even real but she knew she loved him. It felt good, too, knowing that someone loved her unconditionally.

That feeling faded, however, as she found herself in a familiar bed. She had been here once before. In a very different situation with very different feelings. Now she wanted to rip this bed apart! It smelled like  _him_. Kylo.

She pushed herself up and scanned the room before getting out of the bed.  _He_  wasn't here. She knew that there was no way that it would work, but she tried the door anyway. Alas, her guess was right. She was trapped, so she decided to explore. Nothing too fancy, but the room was nice. She had to admit that, for a ship, she appreciated the larger than usual fresher attached.

Rey started opening drawers and cabinets, not bothering to close them. Some, she took out the contents. Others, she let be. She needed a weapon. There was nothing. It looked like she would be relying on her fists.

She did just that. Once Kylo entered the room, she welcomed him with a punch to the nose. Then she went for the door while it was still open but closing. He, of course, was taken aback for a second, but tackled her into the part of the door that was already closed to prevent her escape.

"Now why would you go and do a thing like that?!" This question sounded very Han of him, but Rey refused to speak to him. Instead, she aimed a swift knee to his crotch. He skillfully dodged her. "Stop that!"

He pushed himself off the closed door and away from her. He wiped the blood from his nose with his sleeve. She leaned back against the door, crossed her arms, and glared at him.

"Am I now to receive the silent treatment?"

Rey's nostrils flared, and Kylo was sure that he had not seen her so furious since the forest on Starkiller Base. At least he'd be walking away without any scars this time!

"Fine. This is fine. At least you won't be annoying me with your incessant talking."

"I have  _nothing_  to say to you," she ground out through clenched teeth.

Kylo crossed his arms and stared her down. "What? Now that I have you trapped you have 'nothing' to say to me? You. The girl who wanted to talk, talk, talk? I find that a bit difficult to believe. I see your anger. I can  _feel_  it. Let it out, Rey."

Rey's expression softened, only a teeny tiny bit, and she cocked her head to the side to study him. He was right. She had  _so_  much to say. To ask. Mostly not nice things... but she decided to keeps her words productive.

"Why did you choose to kill Snoke to save me? Or, maybe I should ask  _when_  did you decide to kill him?"

" _This_  is what you want to talk about?!" He thought that maybe she wasn't ready to face her new reality. "Ok then... I didn't really plan to kill him at all, but, at the same time, I'd been planning it for a while."

"Always the duality... Kylo and Ben." She sighed, signaling that she was sick of his crap. "What did you expect to happen when you took me to him?"

Kylo had a feeling this discussion was going to take a while... And it would probably veer all over the place. He walked over to his sitting area, took a seat on the couch, and patted the spot next to him to indicate he wanted her to sit as well. Rey took a seat in a chair across from him, arms still crossed.

"I had hoped that he would appreciate your power, appreciate me bringing you to him... that he'd let me take you as my apprentice," he told her.

"Didn't I turn you down? With that  _teacher_  request?"

"You let me teach you how to dance and how to read..." He pointed out.

"So, you didn't  _intend_  for me to help you overthrow Snoke?" She asked, not believing him.

"It was a scenario I  _had_  thought of, but it was not my direct intention," he told her honestly.

"Your mother would be very proud of your political savvy right now..." Rey said bitingly. She then changed tactics. "When did you want to have sex with me?"

Well, damn! That quick of a change in topic almost gave Kylo whiplash.

"Um. Well... it's been a while," he admitted.

"When did you want to  _own_  me?" she pressed, still shooting daggers at him with her eyes.

"I didn't-" Kylo stopped himself. That's right.  _He_  owned  _her_. This discussion wasn't part of his plan. "For as long as I've wanted to have sex with you," he replied snidely without really meaning it. He had definitely wanted to have sex with her for, what seemed like, way longer.

Rey uncrossed her arms, stood slowly, and went to sit next to him. "There seems to be a strong correlation between your sexual desire for me and your want to possess me."

Kylo narrowed his eyes at her statement. He knew where this was going.

"Is  _that_  the type of slave you expect me to be?"

Kylo shrugged. No. "Maybe. I do enjoy being  _inside_   _you_ ," he said crudely.

"I'm not going to let you touch me again!" She spat.

"You think you have a  _choice_?" Her defiance humored him. "I think I've told you once before, I can take what I want..."

Rey's eyes widened. He couldn't possibly!

Kylo sighed. "Enough of this. I'm going to wash the rest of this blood off of my face," he said, rising to his feet. "It's time for me to introduce my pretty new slave- that's you-" he bent down and tapped her nose "to my inferiors." He then stood to his full height, turned, and walked in the direction of his fresher.

"I'm not meeting anyone!" Rey defied him yet again, getting to her feet.

Kylo strode back to her. He took her chin in his hand. "You will do exactly as I say," he growled. "This is a dangerous game you play-"

"That  _you_  brought me into," she argued with a glare.

"The sooner you fall in line, and accept your fate, the sooner things will get easier for you," he warned.

"Fall in line?!" Rey repeated incredulously. "If you think for _one minute_  that I'll just let this happen, you're sorely mistaken! I don't care if a piece of paper supposedly gives you power over me, that's just  _not_  going to happen!" She was shouting now.

"Who do you think you are?! You're  _nothing_. The force may have given you power, but no one wants you. No one but me!" He shouted back. "Don't try my patience. I'll throw you in a regular prison cell so fast you won't know where you are. Then, you won't have my protection, and anyone can do  _anything_  they like with you," he shouted back, darkness radiating from him.

Rey stared at him. She fought the sting of impending tears. She would not let him see her cry. Not over this. "Maybe I'd prefer anyone  _but_   _you_ ," her smart mouth couldn't stay shut.

Kylo worked his jaw, reigning in his anger. "I think you should spend the night shackled in interrogation," he told her, anger and jealousy swirling in his gut. He waved his hand to, yet again, render her unconscious. This time, he just let her hit the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personal note: This was the week my son didn't have his summer session preschool. I cannot overstate how much I despise PJMasks... Where the hell are their parents?! Though, it does teach kids early that "bad guys" can be redeemed... ;-)


	15. Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all. I watched BlacKkKlansman today. John David Washington was on point, and our main man Adam was fabulous as ever. Just sad that he kept his shirt on this time! ;-) Funny, suspenseful (mainly for Adam), and sad - definitely worth the watch!
> 
>  
> 
> I'm asking for your help
> 
> I am going through hell
> 
> Afraid nothing can save me
> 
> But the sound of your voice
> 
> You cut out all the noise
> 
> And now that I can see mistakes so clearly, now
> 
> I'd kill if I could take it back
> 
> But how?
> 
> ("How" Maroon 5)

* * *

"Ok. So this is a very big  _maybe_ ," Finn stated, trying to be hopeful.

Finn, Rose, Poe, and Conni sat in Leia's room with a pitcher of Corellian wine.

"Well, if she's with him now that  _maybe_  is going to turn into a  _definitely_..." Conni muttered into her glass. Everyone looked at her. "What?! They can't keep their pants on around each other anymore! He hated her and they still fu- had sex," she glanced uncomfortably at Leia. "I'm just being realistic..."

"Was Rey going to ever say anything?! Her being pregnant would have undoubtedly put us in more danger," Poe said.

"Or not," Rose offered. "Ren would not risk hurting his child."

"If he even wants one!" Finn, of course, took Poe's side.

Leia audibly sighed. She wanted them to remember she was there, and this was her son and potential grandchild they were taking about.

"He never wanted children," Leia disclosed. "Han and I weren't good enough parents, so he was convinced that he never wanted to be one. That was one reason the life of a Jedi  _did_  appeal to him. Ben never liked the idea of forming attachments based on love. He claimed love didn't last."

"Great... That makes me feel really good about Rey's situation," Finn said sarcastically. "He doesn't even love her."

"They have a connection, at least," Poe tried to make Finn feel better.

"I'm sorry to say this, especially since there's no way to contact Rey, but we need to leave Naboo," Leia told them. "There wasn't an attack today, but that doesn't mean there won't be one tomorrow."

"Can't we use the trackers we planted to find Rey?" Rose asked.

"Yeah, but we can't just go get her! Especially if she chose to go with him... She wouldn't want to leave." Poe commented.

"I have a hard time believing that she went willingly," Rose replied. "She was ready to battle him when I saw her. She wouldn't just change her mind about the First Order either."

"What do we do?" Finn begged of Leia.

"I'm sorry. We leave. We won't track Rey. Not until we find a new safe place. Hopefully, she'll try to reach out to us."

Leia made her decision. Poe went to tell the rest of the resistance, and Leia informed Sandrine of their decision to leave. The Queen gave them supplies for their trip, and they headed off to their next location.

* * *

_"Mommy? We don't belong here, do we?"_

_Rey was back at that beach. It was sunset, and she was sat on the soft sand with the same beautiful little boy. She looked around and saw her friends and the other children laughing around a bonfire._

_She looked at her son and smiled. "Of course we do. We'll always belong here."_

_"But we're different. We can make things happen. They're afraid of us."_

_"They're not afraid of us. Sometimes they don't understand us, but they're not afraid. They love us." She explained, taking his small hand._

_"They're afraid of me. Of my daddy."_

Kylo waved his hand to wake Rey. Just as he had promised, she was shackled to an interrogation platform. She heard men talking as she slowly gained full consciousness. Hux and two other Generals were impressed with his ability to subdue her.

" _This_. Is the Jedi? She's a slight thing. Curious that the Resistance left her to her own resources. Unlucky that you found her all alone," Hux commented. "Well, I know you'll  _thoroughly_  enjoy her, Ren..." He added with a wink.

Rey was confused as to why Kylo neglected to mention the Resistance on Naboo, but she was mainly furious at Hux's last remark. "He'll get no enjoyment from me! I may be a slave, but I'm not his whore," was her first statement in front of these men. She added a glare at Hux.

Kylo couldn't help a small smile. "You'll do what you're told," he said, with a hint of humor in his voice. This angered her more.

"I don't envy you," another General told Kylo. "It will take a lot to break that spirit!"

"I won't break her spirit. I wouldn't want to...  _My_  power feeds off of it!" He told the man matter-of-factly.

"Will you be able to mould her into a power in our favor. No one would dare stand against us with two force users," Hux asked, eyes roaming over Rey's appearance. She didn't seem like much.

"You know, I'm right here. I  _can_  hear you. The answer is NO! He won't be able to mould me into anything!"

"We'll see," Kylo quipped. "I better get started, gentleman," he turned his attention to the men and ushered them toward the door. The silent General seemed very reluctant to leave but, of course, couldn't go against Kylo's nonverbal insistence.

She could hear the men chuckle as they left. Something about Rey 'walking funny later' and 'hounding for a pounding.' Rey thought these men were disgusting!

Once they were alone, Kylo took his stance in front of her. They really were back at the beginning. Rey hung onto her anger. In reality, her emotions were a whirlwind. She had gone from being in love, having that love reciprocated, to learning she was a slave and the man she loved now owned her, capturing her like a prisoner all over again. Oh yeah, and the small fact that she could be pregnant with his child. Anger. That was something she could cling to in order to mask everything else.

"You're disgusting," she shot at him venomously.

Kylo studied her, as if he was judging her. "I know this will be difficult for you, but I need you to trust me," he said, his tone low.

"Trust?!" She hissed. "I don't trust you as far as I can throw you!  _Without_  using the force!"

Kylo's expression hardened. "Let me put it this way, then... I'm giving you a choice. Would you like to stay here, just as you are? Or will you come obediently back to  _our_  chambers with me? Choose wisely."

Rey wanted more than anything to continue to defy any wish he had. She knew he wanted her to come back with him, but she also knew that it wasn't safe for her to stay in this interrogation cell. If she did trust any part of Kylo, it would be the fact that he  _would_  protect her. Even if it was purely out of his own sick need to be possessive of her.

"Fine," she surrendered. "I'll go back with you."

"Without a fight?" He asked, hands hovering to release her from her shackles.

"Without a fight," she agreed.

The words were barely out and her shackles snapped open. Kylo took her firmly by her upper arm and practically dragged her out of the room. He was moving so quickly, without actually running, that Rey struggled to keep up.

As soon as they were back in their room, Kylo released Rey onto the sofa. He sat closely next to her, crowding her space. He placed a hand on her cheek and leaned in to kiss her.

She turned her head away. "You're insane! Just because I come back with you does not mean I'm just going to give in to you!"

"Rey, this isn't what you think," he stroked her arm, seeking her eyes.

" _How_  is this not what I think?!" She grabbed the front of his tunic and shoved him to his side of the couch.

"I brought you here to help me. You said you'd help me," he pointed out, recalling their conversation in the elevator before she met Snoke.

"You brought me here because I'm your slave!" She fumed.

"You're my slave for your own protection! No one would dare touch you! Trust me, plenty of people want you dead. You're mine, and that's all that matters to them."

"I can't believe you're rationalizing this!" Rey stood to put distance between them. She was afraid she'd punch him in the nose. Again. "You  _bought_  me because you were mad at me! You made me your slave to destroy me. You said so yourself!"

"You're right! I did buy you as a sort of punishment for refusing me. But, that's  _not_  what this is now. "

"You could have freed me."

"Again, your current status is for your  _protection_. I didn't tell you because, well, you wouldn't believe me. Besides, I need them to think you hate me."

"I  _do_  hate you!" She confirmed for him.

Kylo sighed, sounding almost defeated. He stood and carefully approached her, stopping inches away. "Look, you didn't want to rule with the First Order, and neither do I."

"You're right. I don't believe you. In fact, I think you're just trying to get into my pants right now!"

Kylo rubbed his hands down her arms, reaching for her hands. "I'm always trying to get into your pants..."

"Kylo!" Rey slapped his hands away.

She had finally called him by his preferred name, but it didn't feel as good as he thought it would. Actually, he kind of missed hearing 'Ben' from those gorgeous lips.

"I'm not  _just_  trying to get into your pants. I've started doing things... leading in a manner that will sooner rather than later bring hostility towards me from people like Hux. I'm trying to give more autonomy to the galaxy, without giving up complete power. I want to pull back the troops, and end the way we 'recruit' Stormtroopers all together."

Rey was skeptical. "Oh, you want to play nice now?" She took a step back to get out of his gentle grip.

"Not necessarily... I'm the leading force. I'm going with the 'here's some freedom to rule your own, but don't fuck with me or I'll end you' kind of messaging."

Rey really could not hold back her eye roll. "I still don't believe you. There is no way this was all for show. The things you said to me... You gave me the choice to be with you. I refused you. Again." She was trying to prod at his known anger points, namely her repeated rejection of him. She wanted to make him lose his cool. Then the truth would come out.

"I knew, going in, that you wouldn't accept me. I knew that I would have to force you into this. Your hate had to be real - you're a terrible liar... Everything I've said and done since the moment you rejected my offer,  _again_ , was just to get you to feel anger towards me," he explained calmly.  _Not_  the reaction she expected. "And I'm sorry about that."

"If you knock me out again, I'll knock you out!" She warned him.

"I'm sorry about that, too. If you're sore at all, this last time you really did make me upset so I didn't catch you..." He confessed.

"Seriously?" She asked him like he was a petulant child. He nodded. "You're a petty  _asshole_!"

"You did punch me in the nose..." He countered.

"Oh, you want to make a list of all of our wrongdoings? I'm pretty sure yours is longer! Besides, you BOUGHT ME! I really can't forgive you for that," she told him, those damn tears threatening to return.

Kylo took her hand and a deep breath. "I can give you your freedom, rip up those ownership papers. If you're my wife I can still protect you." He said this as if it was the most serious thing he had ever uttered.

Rey yanked her hand away, narrowing her eyes at him. "What is wrong with you?! I lived alone on a desert planet and still manage to have more social skills than you do!"

"That's a no, then?" He asked, disappointment written all over his face.

"Definite no. Don't dare ask me again!" She turned away from him, heading for his bed. "You're exhausting. I'm going to bed. You're not to come near this bed while I'm in it, do you understand me?!"

"Understood," he reluctantly gave in to her. He turned to stare at the couch. There was no way he'd fit on that. All he had to do was wait for her to fall asleep. He'd then sneak into his bed anyway. Just add one more thing to the list that he'd have to beg her forgiveness for.


	16. Payback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as usual, for the reviews, kudos, and bookmarks! It is greatly appreciated and fuels my writing fire! ;-)
> 
> Oh, Ben... Ben, Ben, Ben. He's not really a people person. He's worse with women he's in love with, well Rey. He's terrible at expressing his feelings. He's generally a selfish being. His good traits are... uh... I'll get back to you all on that! It's a good thing he's pretty!

* * *

Memory is a funny thing. Especially when life starts moving too quickly. Or when your lover, for lack of a better term, keeps knocking you out. Or when the force is most likely messing with you. Either way, Rey was a bit groggy, and her memory was slow to catch up with her body. She felt the wonderful warmth of Ben enveloping her. She snuggled closer to him, enjoying the feeling of waking up with her lithe limbs intertwined with his. Her lips found his neck, and she even managed one kiss to his soft skin before reality caught back up with her.

She tried to pull away, but he was holding her a bit too tightly. He was fast asleep and way too heavy for her to move. Rey gave up her struggle to get away and decided to take the opportunity to study this beautiful specimen of a man. Well,  _she_  thought he was beautiful. His long dark eyelashes and thick silky hair was pretty enough to belong to a woman. However, his muscular body was all man, and it took a lot of willpower to resist touching him how she  _really_  wanted to!

Ben looked peaceful while he slept. Rey wondered if he always slept so well, or if it was because she was there. It wasn't that she thought herself so important, but she was leaning toward the fact that her presence gave him some sort of peacefulness. That, at least, bolstered her self-esteem. There  _was_  something in the fact that this powerful man  _needed_  her that did make her feel, well, good.

Rey hated what he had done, and she knew that all of this was born out of his anger towards her rejection.  _Several_  rejections... However, she  _did_  say that she'd help him, and she would not go back on her word. He was darkness, she was light. She would not sink to his level, letting her anger overshadow her path to do what was right. To use him to help the galaxy. They could bring balance and peace. She knew it with every fiber of her being.

She felt him shift and knew that he was walking up. Rey wanted to pretend that she was asleep or try to pull away one last time, but she could do neither. She had never seen someone wake up like this, going from completely vulnerable to guarded in mere seconds. She wanted to watch this change in him. So she rested her chin on his shoulder and watched.

"Hey..." Kylo said groggily, and was immediately a bit apprehensive.

"I thought I told you to stay out of this bed," she stated evenly.

"I couldn't fit on the sofa," he made his excuse.

"The floor seems big enough," she countered, still showing no signs of anger. This confused him, and he was slightly afraid that she would go off on him at any moment. She liked this new power over him.

"I'm the Supreme Leader. I'm not sleeping on the floor!" Kylo couldn't help sounding indignant at her suggestion.

"You're a supreme pain in my ass..." she muttered, pushing herself up to a seated position so she could look down at him.

"And you're a supreme-" Kylo stopped himself as she cocked her head to the side, daring him to speak his mind. He immediately went a different route, "-beautiful, lovely, intelligent, funny, resourceful-"

"Ok. Stop!" She couldn't help the smile on her face as she covered his mouth with her hand. He was learning.

"-sexy, patient, kind, caring, fierce," he continued with his voice muffled through her hand, "only love I'll ever know, Princess."

"Why can't you just be like this all the time?" Rey asked, sliding her hand from his mouth to cup his cheek.

Kylo leaned his face into her touch. "Because, as you've already made known,  _I'm_  a supreme pain in the ass!" He repeated her words, then added, "and a moody, petulant, conniving, self-absorbed, self- _righteous,_ temperamental, devious, lovesick murderer."

"You forgot monster who is bad with words. And people. And, well, you just suck at a lot of things," she told him with a smile. She wasn't going to fall for his blatant fishing for compliments or a rebuttal of these negative attributes that he  _did_  possess. However, she also didn't feel like discussing these things either at the moment.

He smiled back and sat up to face her. He lightly brushed her cheek with his thumb. "I'm good at this," he boasted as he gently kissed her.

Rey wrapped her arms around his neck and shifted her body to straddle his hips. She kissed him back passionately. BUT she was  _not_  giving in to him! Why deny herself something that  _she_  wanted just because he had been idiotic?! This was just kissing, anyway. She wasn't going to let him  _in_  again. Not until he tore up those papers! It would be weird, now knowing that she would be having sex with a man who paid for her. She wasn't a whore, as she kept reminding everyone. The thought of Kylo as her Master was appalling! Ok, it was the tiniest bit arousing, but mostly disgusting!

Ok, so it was  _just_  sex. It's not like she forgave him! Again, why deny herself the most exquisite pleasure she had ever known because  _he_  was an asshole?! She could use his body just as much as he could use hers! Besides, she was apparently very sensitive and could orgasm very quickly. Poor Kylo took a bit too long. It was his turn to be punished.

Rey had stopped her movement on top of him when that glorious pleasure washed over her. She dipped her head down and kissed him deeply once more. "That was actually really nice," she murmured against his lips.

"Glad you enjoyed it," he replied, bucking his hips up to continue his pleasure. "I'll give you a second one."

"Eh. One is good enough," she stated, kissed him quickly on the lips, and removed herself from his body.

"Hey! Wait! I'm not... done yet," he informed her.

"Oh, I know, but  _I_  am," she told him with a smirk and a wink. "Must get cleaned up to help  _you_  clean up the mess that is the First Order," she added as she headed for the fresher.

Kylo propped himself up, thoroughly dismayed. "Are you serious?!"

Rey stopped in the doorway and gave him a big smile. She fought back her laughter at her poor sexually frustrated  _Master_. "Yep! You know, I can take whatever I want..." and with that she entered the fresher, shutting the door firmly behind her.

_What the fuck just happened?!_ Kylo thought, completely bewildered. Damn. It looked like he'd be giving himself a hand...

* * *

Kylo was still frustrated after his rinse off and decided to show Rey who was really in charge. Though, he did have to admit that her payback was priceless, even at his expense. He really didn't think she had that kind of trickery in her!

All the same, he provided her with clean,  _black_  clothing. They were designed so she could move easily. Rey hated that he was requiring her to wear black, but she was extremely grateful to be wearing pants and a shirt that covered everything again.

Kylo wore his usual pants and boots, but he stopped at just his undershirt when getting dressed. This made her even more curious to know what their activities for the day would be. They obviously would not be going to a meeting or anything official.

He took her by the arm and led her out of their room. She was amused that he felt the need to hold her arm. It wasn't like she could easily escape him. But she stayed silent on the matter and let him steer her through the ship. After a small trek, they stopped at a door, and Kylo entered a code. He knew she watched and memorized it. No matter. This room held nothing too important.

"I've brought you to train with two of my knights," he informed her, ushering her through the door.

Two well-built men, dressed in black of course, stood in the room holding staffs. They were not quite as big as their leader, but Rey had no desire to train with either of these men, much less  _both_  of them!

She backed away towards the door. "I really shouldn't..." she protested.

"It's just training," Kylo remarked nonchalantly.

Rey grabbed his arm as an indication of how serious she was. "I can't."

Kylo looked down at her, thoroughly confused as to how his warrior lover turned into a weakling when faced with his knights.

"Can I speak to you privately?" Rey begged.

Kylo nodded his head and the knights left the room. He then focused his full attention on her. "So... What do you need from me?"

Rey didn't know where to begin, but she knew that she had to be honest with him. "Um..." She looked around the room and noticed a bench. She took his hand and led him to it. "Maybe we should sit down..."

"You want me to sit down?" He quirked an eyebrow at her drastic change in behavior. Kylo had never seen Rey behave in such a flustered manner.

"Yes," she replied, pulling him down to sit with her. Rey turned to him, tucking her loose hair behind her ears. His eyes were so soft and inquisitive, and she could tell that her actions were making him nervous. Good.

"I really have no clue how long I've been here, with you knocking me out and all... but the day you... " she searched for as appropriate word, " _took_  me, I had talked to my girl friends, Rose and Conni-"

"Am I supposed to know who they are?" Kylo interrupted.

"Mmm, not really. They're my friends. They're Finn and Poe's girlfriends..." Kylo looked blankly at her. She sighed, "the traitor and the pilot!?"

"I know who  _they_  are!" Kylo was annoyed that she thought he was stupid enough to not remember those fools. "Is there a point to this?" he asked impatiently.

Rey knew she was rambling, stalling. She had to get on with it. She stood up, leaving him on the bench, and paced nervously in front of him. "Yeah, so we were talking about...sex. My sex, which really? Why was it always me? I'm sure they had sex!"

"Rey...?" he said to get her to focus.

"Right. Sex. Conni mentioned birth control, and I told them... I said I didn't know what that was," she looked at him, worry and fear spilling out of her. He could feel it.

"Ok..." He didn't get it. Damn him. Was she really going to be forced to spell it out?

"You've...  _cum_  in me twice without protection." She felt the need to whisper this, hoping to drive the point home. He just stared at her. "Fuck, Kylo! I could be pregnant!" she told him plainly.

There it was. The truth smacked him in the face. If it was possible, Kylo got paler. He ran a hand through his hair and got to his feet to pace as well.

"For that to happen, didn't we need to...make love at a certain time...for you?" He tried to choose his words carefully. He knew that she was more afraid than he could ever be. He wanted to comfort her, to make her feel better. Kylo never wanted a child, but he knew that Rey especially never wanted  _his_  child. If this was just another thing that he had done to her, he really didn't know how he could forgive himself.

"Conni and Rose seem to think that it was  _that_  time...for me," her words cut through his thoughts.

Kylo stopped pacing and turned to face Rey. "Med bay," he stated. "I'll take you to the med bay. I'm sure they'll be able to tell you-  _us_...if you're..."

"Yeah. Ok," she agreed, cutting him off so he wouldn't have to say it. Rey sensed that this was difficult for him to process. Of course it would be! There was a very real possibility that he had knocked up his slave. The shame of having a child with her would no doubt be overwhelming for him. She was actually impressed that he was keeping it together so well.

"Ok, then." Kylo opened the door for her, and then followed her out into the hall. His knights were waiting for him outside. "No training today," he told them and continued leading Rey in the direction of the med bay. He wasn't holding her arm this time, she noticed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our poor lovebirds and their insecurities. They're both freaking out just a little bit... Next chapter is the moment of truth! However, don't expect as quick of an update. I just had this one mostly written out. Hoping for a usual weekend post.


	17. Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't win, I can't reign  
> I will never win this game without you, without you  
> I am lost, I am vain,  
> I will never be the same without you, without you
> 
> I won't run, I won't fly  
> I will never make it by without you, without you  
> I can't rest, I can't fight  
> All I need is you and I, without you, without you
> 
> ("Without You" David Guerra ft. Usher)

* * *

 

Rey glanced around the sterile environment. Kylo had left her for a moment to seek out a female doctor. He obviously wanted to keep this under wraps, and non-droids were better at keeping secrets. It didn't take the Supreme Leader much time to return with a slightly nervous, but friendly, looking doctor.

"Hello, Rey," the young woman extended her hand to shake Rey's warmly. "I'm Dr. Elly Vormir, and I'll be checking everything out for you. The Supreme Leader has graciously explained your predicament, and I guarantee you complete confidentiality."

_Her_  predicament. Of course...

"I'll, um... I'm going to leave you to it, then," Kylo said awkwardly, then even more awkwardly, if that was possible, took Rey's hand and quickly gave it a kiss before stalking out of the room.

"This is fairly easy, Rey. I'm going to have you pee in a cup. I'll then run a test on the hormones found in the urine, and that will tell us if you are pregnant or not. I do need to tell you that, since this is still early, there is a margin for error."

"Margin for error? How much?" Rey asked, taking the cup from the doctor.

"Very small, but it's still a disclaimer I need to tell my patients," Dr. Vormir informed her. "If it is positive, I'll start you on some vitamins and supplements. I mean, if you decide to continue with the pregnancy-"

"Of course I'd continue!" Rey made her stance known.

"Ok. Good," the doctor said cautiously, not wanting to anger Rey further. "If the test is negative, then I can start you on birth control once your cycle begins."

Rey shifted uncomfortably. "I don't have regular... cycles. My nutrition has been spotty, at best..."

"I see... Well, if you don't start your cycle in a week or so, I may run additional tests and then start you on birth control anyway. The Supreme Leader..." Dr. Vormir trailed off trying to find the right words. "He obviously cares about your well-being. I'll do anything I can to help you."

Rey nodded, taking the clear cup from the doctor, and went into the more private room to provide her sample. She placed the cup on the marked tray, washed her hands, and went back into her original room. Dr. Vormir collected the sample and hastened of to run her test. Rey sat on the small bed to wait.

Three minutes felt like fifteen. The doctor came back with a reassuring smile on her face. "Negative," she stated.

"Really?" Rey cleverly asked, a mixture of relief and disappointment swirling in her gut.

"Yep. Now we just have to wait until your next cycle begins to start birth control. So, you might want to take other precautions when engaging in sexual activity until then," Vormir informed her.

When Rey emerged into the hallway, Kylo slowly rose from his chair and gazed at her expectantly. Rey shook her head. "Negative."

"Oh," he said, eyes going to the floor. "Well, that's good," he added looking back to her. He stepped forward and pulled her into a gentle hug. She wasn't sure if it was more for her or him.

* * *

The next morning began with Kylo watching Rey eat in amusement. He had never seen someone so enraptured with food. If he wasn't completely head-over-heels in love with her, he'd think she was disgusting.

"My great-grandmother was a slave," Kylo casually stated.

"Well,  _I'm_  not a slave. Not really. I was born as something else - someone else. I was free.  _You_  turned me back into a slave!" She accused him, and rightly so!

"You still belonged to Plutt! You would really rather him own you than me?" he questioned.

"I don't want anyone to own me! Like I've said, I don't belong to anyone!"

"Legally, you belong-"

"You know I'll never follow a single command that you try to give me!" She cut him off.

"I do," he admitted.

Rey wasn't expecting that. She thought he'd say his usual witty comments like  _We'll see_  or  _You're mine_  or  _I can take whatever I want._.. Something truly asinine. But he didn't. To be honest, Rey had a feeling that she had way more power over him than he did her. He only had physical strength on her, but she owned his heart.

When Rey didn't reply, Kylo continued on. "My grandmothers were queens, however. By blood and the woman who raised Leia. Don't really know much about Han's side..."

"So you really are a prince!" Rey stopped eating to stare at him. She had always thought of him as some sort of dark prince. Maybe it was the one romantic bone in her body... He was so graceful, logistically intelligent, and downright elegantly beautiful that there was no doubt he  _was_  a prince!

"No," he said simply. "That's not how it works. Well, at least not on Naboo. I  _would_  be the rightful Prince of Alderaan, if it still existed. But it doesn't. So I'm not... A prince."

"Do you want to be a prince?" She asked, desperately wanting to learn more of the enigma that was Ben Solo.

He shrugged. "I wanted to be a pilot. My goals were never so grand."

"Like Han?" Rey asked sadly.

"Like Han," he confirmed. "I already told you I didn't hate him. I wanted to  _be_  him growing up. I wanted the freedom to explore the galaxy on my own terms. That just wasn't my fate."

"Fate? Did someone force you into being a darkside force-user?" she asked sarcastically.

"Yeah, my Masters. Snoke and Luke," he stated plainly.

"What about personal responsibility? Your choices define you far more than your abilities. You could have denied Snoke, turned away at the beginning. You could have chosen a different path." Rey wanted to make him truly understand that she didn't feel sorry for him.

"I know what you think. That I had everything, and I chose to be evil." Kylo shook his head at her deductions. "I was nothing. Nothing to Han, he never stayed. Nothing to Leia, she ignored me. Nothing to Luke, he was afraid that I wasn't of the light. They all feared me. Not a single one of them loved me. Why have a child you don't want?!" Kylo fought back the rising anger of his past.

Rey nodded. "Why indeed? I sometimes wonder if I have any other family out there. I surely have, or had, grandparents. Maybe aunts or uncles or cousins. My parents were useless, but I clung to the fact that someone out there would care for me."

"I care for you, " he stated like a promise.

"I know," she gave him a small smile, "in your strangely possessive way... But it's not the same."

"We're a mess. It's a good thing we're not having a baby," he commented weakly.

"Yeah," she agreed softly, still feeling the sting of disappointment.

"I mean, we would have had a really pretty baby! My hair, your eyes..." He hid his smile by taking a sip of his caf.

"I don't know... I have pretty nice hair and you have lovely eyes... " she smiled faintly at him.

"So really a win-win for any future... kids," he finished, uncertain that he should have said that.

"All ten of them!" Rey teased as Kylo choked on his beverage.

" _Ten_?! Nooo. Do  _you_  really want to have children? Bring them into this mess?"

"I do, and I'm not joking. I want a lot of kids!" She smiled knowing that she was causing him anxiety. "I told my friends the same thing. I've never really had a family, so I want to build one of my own... eventually."

"But not really ten, right? Aren't you afraid that you would be a bad parent? Just screw up some little lives over your own selfishness?"

"No. I'm not my parents," she stated confidently. "And for that matter,  _you're_  not your parents."

"I know. I'm worse," he told her, his dark eyes locking onto hers.

"Well, it doesn't really matter. You don't want kids," she pointed out.

"Yes...but I'd give you anything," he said, holding her gaze.

"Except my freedom," she challenged darkly, and partly because she wanted to change the topic. She was starting feel uncomfortable discussing children with Kylo.

Kylo made an irritated audible sigh and left the table. Rey leaned back in her chair, suddenly not very hungry. He quickly returned, standing over her. He then dropped papers onto the table in front of her, just missing her food.

"You never even asked to look at these. No one has since I first showed Hux and told him of my plans."

Rey looked down to study the papers. She saw his named signed twice, in two different spots. "What is this?" She asked, knowing that  _he_  knew she couldn't read very well.

"This is where I signed to own you," he said, pointing to the first sheet. He pulled the second sheet out to place it on top. "This is where I signed over your freedom back to you."

"What?" she asked, genuinely confused.

"You don't really belong to me... in  _that_  way. You're not a slave anymore. I  _did_  give you your freedom," he explained.

"When?" she asked, staring at the papers on front of her. She gingerly touched the second page, the one stating she was free.

"Last night. I just couldn't do it anymore. We're equals, Rey. I couldn't cause you anymore pain."

She could hardly believe her ears. Was this a trap?

"I acknowledge that I've made bad decisions, but they were because I thought I was doing what was necessary. This was a bad decision that I just couldn't live with any longer. I'm so sorry for, well, everything. All that has happened to you was brought on by me. I can't keep dragging you along with me."

"Well, I try to look at the bright side of things... If it weren't for you, I would still be a miserable slave on Jakku, I wouldn't have my amazing friends, I wouldn't have a bigger purpose for my life,  _and_  I wouldn't have you."

"Me? But you  _hate_  me..." He was doing a terrible job hiding his growing smile as he sat back down next to her.

"Turns out I don't hate you very much... or at all. I hate  _most_  of your actions, but not you. I truly believe that you can be a good  _person_. You've just done terrible things."

"You're wrong there. I'm not a good person. Really, I'm not. I've killed so many innocent people-"

"But that's not who you are  _now_. You're trying to fix things, and I  _am_  going to help you."

"So, you'll stay with me?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes. I  _love_  you. Just, please, no more proposals!"

"Point taken," he agreed.

"And I'm going to go back to calling you  _Ben_."

He nodded. "That's fine. Just not in front of anyone else. Please."

"What  _should_  I call you, then?"

" _Master_  sounds good..."

Rey punched him in the arm. "No."

"Ow!  _Kylo_  will be fine, then."

"Ok,  _Kylo_ , what's the plan for today?" she asked before stuffing the remainder of her food in her mouth.

He wrinkled his nose at her. "Training. We're still going to train with my knights, but, for now, we can go over some of the small changes I've been slowly making right under their noses."

"Why can't you just do whatever you want? _You're_  the Supreme Leader. You're the one with all the power."

"Well, because I enjoy being alive. If I try to change everything too quickly, especially changes that would be unpopular with my Generals, they will have me killed. Hux is in charge of all of the Stormtroopers. My knights and I are powerful, but even we couldn't take them all on. Small changes, slowly taking whatever power they hold away from them. This is how to bring down the First Order," he explained.

"What will be in place of the First Order? You'll take their power for yourself? Fashion yourself King or Emperor?"

Kylo shrugged. "Maybe," he admitted. "Not like before, though. I'll have you to keep me in check. My darkness, with your light. The galaxy will finally have balance."

"Careful, Ben. You're getting dangerously close to a proposal..." she warned him. Rey then added, "I don't think there should be a single ruler."

Kylo considered her opinion. "What  _do_  you think?"

Rey shrugged. "Planets should govern themselves."

"And what if someone like Plutt were to be in charge of Jakku? Who would keep someone like that in line? Who would they answer to?"

Rey hadn't really thought of that. "Well, maybe each ruler's time is conditional. They have to be voted on, and can only rule for a certain period of time?"

"There still needs to be someone who oversees everything," Kylo debated.

"And should that person really be you?" Rey asked skeptically.

"Us," he corrected.

"Proposals..." she warned.

"You're just afraid. I'll help you," he implored.

"I'd rather not talk about this now. One step at a time," she told him and patted his arm. "First, training." She smiled at him.

Kylo nodded. "Training," he agreed.

Rey leaned towards him and have him a quick kiss on the lips. She pulled back slightly to look intently into his eyes. "I can't wait to kick your ass. Again," she whispered with a mischievous smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I straight stole a Dumbledore quote. Did y'all catch it? :-)


	18. Compromise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello?! It's anyone there?!
> 
> I apologize for the long delay in updating. My personal and professional life have been crazy! Weddings, races, school starting, and traveling have not left me with much time to write. This is the longest chapter that I've written so far... hope that kind of makes up for it!
> 
> On a Star Wars related note, I fucking LOVE JJ for casting Dominic Monaghan. JJ better not kill him this time! Though, I'd sacrifice Dom's character in a second if it meant saving Ben Solo.
> 
> Story related note, I like fuck-words too much to change my writing to have more Star Wars-y terminology. #sorrynotsorry... A lot goes down in this chapter- it's all over the place, but I hope you like it! :-)
> 
>  
> 
> I feel wrong, I'm so human and flawed  
> I'll break down even though I'm still strong  
> And time will make fools of us all  
> Build us up and then laughs when we fall
> 
> You pull me through  
> When I'm alone in the dark  
> And the fear is my truth
> 
> Yeah all the things that you are  
> Beautifully broken, alive in my heart  
> And know, that you are everything  
> Let your heart sing and tonight  
> You'll light up the stars  
> All that you are
> 
> ("All That You Are" Goo Goo Dolls)

* * *

The Knights of Ren. They weren't nearly as fearsome as their leader. Well, the two Rey sparred with anyway... However, she had the distinct feeling that they were holding back. They had fought each other with a sort of tag-team method, Kylo and Rey versus his knights. She watched each of their methods as they fought Kylo, each of them going all in to try and take their master down. However, when it came to her turn, she felt that they weren't nearly as aggressive. She just knew that they were afraid to accidentally hurt her, thus bringing the wrath of Kylo Ren upon them. She got an idea.

"I want to fight you again," she told Kylo, poking him in the shoulder with her wooden practice saber.

He looked at where she made contact, back at her, and twirled his practice saber. "I'd love to," he accepted her challenge with a smirk and quickly advanced on her.

Rey knew that Kylo would  _not_  fight her timidly. He would take this opportunity to finally beat her in hand-to-hand combat. She was pretty sure that he  _would_  beat her this time, but she needed the knights to see that she wasn't some helpless little girl. If Kylo fought her as brutally as he usually did, then his knights would see that she could take it.

Rey matched Kylo blow for blow. They both could feel how impressed the knights were with her skills, her style of fighting complementing Kylo's. They fought for a while, neither one gaining any advantages over the other. They were trying every trick they could think of to gain the upper hand. Finally, for Kylo, Rey showed her weakness. Her signature move that knocked him on his ass on Starkiller and put the Praetorian guards in their place, the kick to the chest, was coming. He anticipated her, and when the time came he swept her other leg out from under her. Rey landed hard on her back, the air knocked from her lungs. Kylo dropped to his knees, straddling her torso, and pinned her arms above her head.

"Do you surrender?" he asked with the biggest, triumphant smile on his face.

Rey knew he'd most likely beat her, but it didn't make her more inclined to give in to him when he did. "No," she growled petulantly, trying her best to flip him off of her. She quickly learned that 120lbs would not budge 200lbs, especially when the latter had the advantage.

"No?" Kylo questioned, his irritating smile firmly in place.

Rey struggled underneath his weight a bit longer before finally giving in. She sighed deeply and met his dark gaze. "Fine," she conceded. "I surrender," she said blandly.

"See? Surrendering to me wasn't  _that_  difficult, was it?" Kylo asked smugly as he rolled off of her.

" _Don't_  push your luck!" Rey warned, slowly getting to her feet. Kylo gently grabbed her arm to help her all the way up.

"And  _this_  is why I love this girl," he told his knights, gesturing to Rey. "She's feisty."

The Knights chuckled and nodded in agreement.

"You're not too bad, little Jedi," the tall (but shorter than Kylo), dark-as-Finn knight told her, patting her on the head. His name was Pogba, she recalled.

The tall-as-Kylo, blond-haired, blue-eyed, paler-than-Kylo (if that was possible) knight named Sven grinned at her. "She's fierce, alright. I like her," he decided.

"Well, I'm happy to have your approval..." Rey told them sarcastically.

"You'll be a great ally in getting rid of Hux and taking the First Order in the direction  _we_  deem necessary," Sven told her seriously.

"We can change the name," Kylo added quickly. "The First Order was Snoke. We need a  _new_  order."

"Or no order at all..." Rey added her thoughts.

The Knights looked at her and then at Kylo, waiting to see what would happen.

"There always needs to be order," Kylo told Rey patiently. "The republic didn't do well-"

"Neither did the empire... " Rey pointed out, interrupting him.

He sighed and continued. "I've already told you, I'm willing to give more power to the various civilizations within my realm-"

"Your  _realm_?!" Rey couldn't hold back her mocking laugh.

He decided to ignore her. "But I  _will_  be the ultimate ruler, overseeing everything with my knights to make sure it all goes smoothly."

"Sounds fair in theory, dearest  _Supreme Leader_ ," she continued her mocking tone. "But what happens when someone doesn't follow your orders or, worse, goes against you for the betterment of  _their_  people?"

Kylo took a second to think. Part of his brain shouted  _IT'S A TRAP! ABORT MISSION! DON'T ANSWER! RUN!,_ while the other part urged him to put her in her place. "There will be no going against me, or my knights," he told her honestly, "...or you," he added.

"Oh, no... I will help you to  _not_  make terrible decisions as you get started, but I don't want to rule or help enforce  _your_  rule. Leave me out of it!" Rey reiterated the point she has stuck by since the beginning of their relationship, for lack of a better title to give their turbulent times together.

The Knights stared at her for a second, then turned their puzzled gaze to their leader.  _Not take part in their new order? But she was to be their queen!_   _Didn't she know?!_ They were thoroughly confused.

"We can talk more about this later," he decided, his voice lowering in tone to let her know this wasn't up for argument. Rey nodded in agreement, knowing she would bring up the subject again. "For now, let's get cleaned up and begin planning the take down of our biggest problem, Armitage Hux."

* * *

Finn had slept the past two nights in the Falcon. He felt that he needed to be ready in case Rey made contact. Leia had decided to head back to the planet of Carcaso, knowing her friend Prince Tolosa would welcome them.

The Resistance had grown slightly in number, so they were given a development in the mountains above the lush forest. They mostly had to live in huts as the houses were being finished, but everyone was happy to have a safe and friendly place to stay. Finn, however, was so consumed with guilt that he refused any comforts. He stayed on the ship. Next to the comm. Hoping that Rey would reach out. If she could.

He had been asleep for only a few hours, having gone to sleep well after everyone else. It was late night- early morning?- when Finn was pulled from his slumber. Names. He heard the whispering of names.

"Poe..." Long pause. "Rose..." Shorter pause. "Chewie... Finn..." A breath. "It's me... It's Rey... Is anyone there?" she whispered desperately. "Please. I'm sorry..." Another pause. Another breath. "Finn..."

He almost fell out of the Captain's chair reaching for the comm. "I'm here," he croaked, sleep still lingering in his voice.

"Finn!" Rey whispered, thankful that someone had finally answered her. She wasn't sure how much time she'd have.

"Oh, Rey! I'm so so sorry! Please forgive me - us! We're stupid. We  _miss_  you! Come back to us!" His words tumbled out quickly.

"I- I can't," she told him. "Kylo  _bought_  me from Plutt. I'm his slave now. There's really nothing that I can do," she explained. Rey wished that she could tell Finn the truth of everything, but she wasn't going to risk that someone could somehow listen in. Someone could learn the truth about their Supreme Leader.

" _What_!?" He exclaimed angrily. "No. No, that can't be! He  _can't_  have you! We'll come get you!"

Rey laughed, but Finn could tell that she had started crying. "I'd like that. I've missed  _you_  so much! But, no. Don't come for me. I'll find away to escape."

"The trackers. We can find you-"

"No, Finn!" she interrupted him. "Don't come for me. It won't be safe. We'd never make it out alive. I'm pretty sure he'd kill anyone who'd try to take me away from him." She said it to deter her friend, but she also kind of believed it... Kylo  _would_  probably kill to keep her. Not Ben. However, she was sure that Finn and Poe coming to her rescue would bring out Ben's worst Kylo.

"We  _need_  to get you out of that situation. He could  _hurt_  you! It's too dangerous for you in your current state..."

"My current state?" she questioned, thoroughly confused.

"Conni let it slip..." Finn told her.

"Ooohhhh... That. Finn, I'm not..." She trailed off not able to say the word.

"You're not?!" He asked, relief clear in his voice.

"I'm not. A doctor checked me out and everything," she answered.

"That's great, Rey! Really. At least that's a bit of good news."

"Yeah," she replied weakly. "Look, I have to go before someone finds me. I've already been gone for too long," Rey explained. He could imagine her looking around to make sure the coast was still clear. "Stay close to a comm. I'll try to talk again soon."

"Ok," he readily agreed. "I promise you that we'll find a way to get you back," he told her.

"Thanks, Finn. I love you." Then the comm was dead.

Waiting for everyone to wake up before sharing the news was going to be difficult, but Finn knew that they would all need their rest if they were going to rescue Rey from that monster.

* * *

Rey replaced the comm and slunk out of the empty radio room. She quietly closed the door, and proceeded down the hall. She turned the corner and nearly ran into General Hux. She tried to dodge him, but he quickly grabbed her by the arm to spin her back to face him.

"What are  _you_  doing out and about?" he asked her, distrust written all over his

Rey tried to pull her arm away but he just held tighter. "I  _am_  allowed to explore my new home," she answered him.

Hux scoffed. "I'm sure Ren would hardly be pleased that his  _plaything_  is wandering around all alone."

"My  _Master_  allows me certain freedoms. It's not like I could escape this place anyway... Besides, I  _know_  he wouldn't approve of the way you're gripping my arm."

Hux took a second to consider her. "You may be right, but I'm not letting you go. Once a rebel, always a rebel. I know you're up to something, and you can keep Ren at bay by giving him what's between your legs... But I will  _not_  be fooled!" With that statement, he produced force-dampening cuffs from his coat and latched them to her wrists.

"What are you doing?!" Rey exclaimed, panic rising in her and began tho struggle against him.

"I'm putting you where you belong. In a cell!" he exclaimed, dragging her away.

"You can't! I belong to Kylo!" Rey reminded him, trying to pull herself free.

"Already seeking protection in your Master?" Hux raised an eyebrow but kept walking. "I thought you hated him?"

"I've accepted my fate," she admitted. "He's the only protection I have here. I'll take what I can get! Now, let me go," she demanded.

"I think not... But I could offer you the same amount of protection for the same price," he bargained.

"In your dreams..." Rey rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh, I'm going to be  _your_  nightmare... Jedi," he whispered in her ear. It sent chills down her spine.

"I am surprised at your self-destructive behavior," she tried changing tactics. "You know how unstable he is... And he's  _very_  possessive of me... You even touching me will make him want to break you arms..."

This gave Hux pause. He just wanted to join in with making this girl miserable. He did  _not_ , however, want to incur the wrath of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. At the same time, this girl seemed way to comfortable with her situation. He was afraid that she had ensnared their leader with her magical cunt... or something of the sort.

"You are delusional if you think he actually cares about you," Hux retorted. "You're just a slave and a pretty piece of ass to our dear Supreme Leader."

"Even so, I'm  _his_  piece of ass. I don't think he's particularly good at sharing... Let me go, and your little proposition will stay between you and me," she bargained.

Hux did release Rey at this. He hated to admit it, but she was right. Not matter what, Ren would not appreciate his advances on the Jedi whore. Rey used this opportunity to back away. She was still cuffed, but wanted to put distance between herself and the dangerous general.

Hux regained himself and grabbed Rey's arm again. He stalked off in the direction of Kylo's private quarters. Once outside the door, he banged loudly on it. Rey wasn't sure what he had planned, but she inwardly smirked knowing that Kylo would always take her side.

Kylo pulled the door open, thoroughly annoyed. His eyes softened a bit at the sight of Rey but turned murderous at the state she was in- being manhandled but his most hated General.

"Supreme Leader," Hux immediately began, "your slave was roaming the ship, spying on us-  _betraying_  you! I'm sure she either has or is trying to find a way to report back to her rebel friends. I apprehended her and am returning her to you." He pushed her in Kylo's direction and made a small bow of submission.

Kylo roughly grabbed Rey by the arms and dragged her to his sitting area, shoving her down on the sofa. He turned back to Hux, who remained in the doorway, to address the man. "I have underestimated your loyalty. Thank you for returning the girl to me. I assure you that she will be  _thoroughly_  punished," he said suggestively.

"The bitch claimed that you gave her free reign to do as she pleased. I, however, knew you'd never do such a thing!" Hux bragged on his instincts.

Kylo wasn't sure if Hux was testing him or not, so he played along. "Maybe the girl is simple-minded..." He could feel Rey's anger at that comment! "...I gave her no such freedoms, at least not on her own. I did, however, tell her that she could freely explore with  _me_  at her side."

Hux shot Rey a triumphant smirk. "As I thought, Supreme Leader."

Kylo thanked him again and firmly shut his door, locking it with his personal code. He turned to Rey and smirked.

"You were very convincing," she told him. "Even to me... I know you didn't mean any of that, but I still feel  _angry_!"

Kylo used the force to release her cuffs and joined her on the couch. "I did mean  _some_  of it," he admitted. "I don't want you out of my sight of you're not in this room or the training room."

"Why? You don't trust me?!" she asked accusingly.

"You I trust. I don't trust  _them_  to not hurt you," he confessed with soft eyes. He cupped her cheeks with his hands and gently kissed her.

"Hux  _did_  proposition me..." she smirked against his lips.

"I'm going to kill him," he growled against her.

"Eventually," she agreed, "but I have leverage against him now. That's why he tried to make me look sneaky." Rey kissed Kylo back, pressing her body into his.

Kylo  _very_  reluctantly pulled back to look her in the eyes. "Why were you lurking around on your own?" he questioned.

"I was genuinely exploring," she replied. Rey couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth. She knew he wouldn't handle her reaching out to the Resistance well, even if it was just to let them know she was safe.

Kylo studied her for a moment. He could feel that she was holding back, but he decided not to worry about it. He knew she'd open up to him in her own time.

"Can I talk to you about something,  _without_  starting an argument?" she asked, wanting to change the subject and learn more about him.

"I guess... However, I get the feeling that this  _will_  start an argument," he said, thoroughly apprehensive.

Rey suddenly got shy. This made Kylo nervous. She took a deep breath and held his hands before asking her question, "Why do you hate your parents?"

"I don't- didn't- don't hate them," he quickly stated, firmly shoving down the anger rising within him.

Rey blushed a bit. She felt that they were in a good place, working on their relationship and the galaxy simultaneously, but she wanted to better understand him and his motivations.

To her surprise, Kylo continued without her prompting. "I can understand why you would think I hate them. For the record, I do hate Luke, but that's a conversation I'm not ready to delve into..."

Rey nodded. "I can accept that."

"I'm not saying this to be... mean," Kylo prefaced, "but you never really had parents. You didn't feel their love countered by their disappointment and fear. You grew up with other orphans, throw-aways, and misfits- the unwanted. I grew up seeing happy families and parents proud of their children, bragging about their various virtues and talents. My life was compared to what seemed like perfection. I was less than perfect. My family had so much hope that I would be the perfect Jedi, full of light. I knew early on that I was a failure, and I was made to think that I was."

Rey carefully listened to every word, wanting him to get out all that he needed to say. Although she believed he wasn't trying to belittle her, his words regarding her own life stung.

Almost sensing this, Kylo stroked her cheek softly. "If your parents weren't already dead, I'd kill them. What they did was beyond cruel." And he kissed her, full of warring emotions.

Rey pulled away this time. "I can see how I compared our lives unfairly. In comparison to me, you had a pretty great life. But for you, your constant measuring stick made you feel like an outcast. Alone. I've been around those people now and can see how they could make you feel like you weren't good enough. I'm just having a hard time reconciling the Leia and Han,  _and_  Luke for that matter, that I know with the people you grew up with."

"And it's perfectly acceptable for you to feel that way. We're not going to understand everything about how the other ticks. As long as we're truthful to each other and give our love completely, I think we'll be ok."

"Wow...! When did you become romantic?!" she teased, trying to lessen the tension in him.

He smirked. "It's always been in there. It's just taken some practice!"

Now that the ice was truly broken, and Rey understood him more, she felt like this was a good time to keep pushing him in his ideas for the future. Namely, what he intended to do about the Resistance.

"You know, all of your masters are dead. You have no one to answer to, you're free to live your life how  _you_  want, lead how  _you_  want to lead," she told him earnestly. "The Resistance stood against Snoke. They don't have to fight you. You don't have to fight them. You're different. I'm helping you... Couldn't you suggest a true?"

Ah. So here it was. Rey's real reason for going along with everything. It wasn't to be with him, it was for her precious Resistance friends. Not for him. Never for him. Kylo sprung up from his seat to angrily pace. He needed to release his furious energy before doing something to make Rey retreat from him, physically and emotionally.

"I don't want truce with the Resistance," he finally ground out. "I want to destroy them."

Rey shook her head at him. "I just don't understand... They've done nothing to you. Why must you continue this?! I'm sure your mother would be-"

"Stop. Talking." It was not a request. It was an order.

Rey did, surprised at his tone of voice- barely held back rage.

"They've done plenty," he practically growled. "I will NOT be undermined by  _them_. Especially my  _mother_!"

Rey contemplated, she could do what she usually did and let him rage. Back down slowly and bring the subject up another time... Or, she could press on, remind him of  _his_  atrocities and his child-like petulance.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that!" Rey argued back, rising to her feet. "I've taken your shit long enough! I've dealt with your mood swings, your flip-flopping between Ben and Kylo, you fucking  _buying_  me! I'm sooo done! If you want my help, my love, my whatever else you feel you need from me, then you're going to  _have_  to compromise! So far, I've gotten nothing out of this relationship and you've gotten everything, you complete asshat!"

Kylo was stunned into silence and stopped pacing to stare at Rey. Her face was red, and he could almost see steam coming off of her, she was so angry! And, did she just call him an 'asshat'?! That was a new one... Was that better than 'snake' or 'monster'? He wasn't sure.

Rey took a deep breath and finally decided to share a moment from her life with him. A happy(ish) moment, but she was going to use it against him.

"My life, well, it was terrible. Then one day I met the first person to care about me. Love me. Do you know who this person was? It was Finn. When I knew we'd be friends forever? When  _you_  kidnapped me, and against all odds or selfish agenda,  _Finn_  came to rescue me. He fought  _you_  for me! He never gave up on me, and I will not give up on him. I won't let you destroy him, nor will I let you hurt the people who took me in and cared for me for the first time in my life!"

" _I_  care for you," Kylo retorted.

Rey couldn't help an eyeroll. "I won't back down from this," she told him. "Think about your happiness. Your future. What do you  _really_  want? If any of it involves me, you  _will_  take into consideration my feelings and what  _I_  need."

Kylo studied her, then took slow purposeful steps towards her. "I want you," he stated simply, pulling her into an embrace. Rey wrapped her arms tightly around his torso in return. "More than anything," he added, kissing the top of her head. Kylo pulled back to look into her eyes. "I can't promise that the First Order, or whatever I end up deciding to call our new order, will accept a truce from the Resistance. My generals won't be keen to make any compromises. After all, we're the ones with all the power." Rey opened her mouth to argue but Kylo continued on before she could get a word out. " _But_ , I will try. I'll hear them out. I'll give the Resistance the chance to surrender," again Rey tried to argue but Kylo continued on to make his point before she she even took a breath, "and assimilate into the new order. I'm open to meeting with my- with General Leia. To make  _you_  happy. And compromise, or whatever. So you can get something out of this relationship."

Rey looked up at him. "Thank you for agreeing to try, but I do expect more than that. They could help you too. They're my friends, and _I'm_  with you."

"Yeah, well,  _Finn_  tried to shoot me when I was  _with you_ , so... I'm not sure they're in the same mindset about a truce as you are," he pointed out.

"Finn just thought you were going to hurt me. He was doing what he always does and needlessly tried to protect me," she said as she shrugged and then ran her hands up his chest.

Kylo was getting used to her little habits. She quite liked running her hands up his chest... Especially when she wanted something... Like to distract him, which worked every time.

"Well,  _I'm_  going to be here to protect you from now on. He can fuck off!" He brushed a strand of hair away from her face and smirked.

"He has his own girlfriend. No need to be jealous." She gently kissed his neck where his jaw met, and continued to pepper kisses down his neck towards his collarbone.

"I'm not... jealous. I'm... possessive. You're mine- in a non ownership way," he quickly added as her kisses stopped at that comment, "And did you just call yourself my girlfriend?"

"No," she said quickly. "I said  _Finn_  had a girlfriend."

"Uh huh..." Kylo smirked, unconvinced.

"I'm not!" Rey playfully pushed him away. He let her move him but held gently to one of her arms to pull her back to him. "We're partners," she decided.

"Partners?! I'd rather go back to being your  _lover_." He leaned down and kissed her, pressing his body into hers, his intentions clear.

"I don't like that," she told him, breaking the kiss and wrinkling her nose. "It sounds so... blah!"

"Very descriptive, Sweetheart." He kissed her nose to unwrinkle it.

"I like that," she said coyly with a slow smile. "Sweetheart," she repeated.

"Do you, Sweetheart?" He returned her smile. "And what will you call me? Creature?  _Monster_? Asshat?"

"Maybe just  _asshat_  occasionally... Never creature or monster," she said seriously and kissed him full on the lips. "I don't have anything to call you just yet, but I do think of you as my dark prince," she confessed shyly and smiled up at him.

"Ok... I like that. But only in  _private_." Kylo winked and kissed her again.

Rey ran her fingers through his hair, locking her hands at the base of his head to pull him into as deep a kiss as possible. He grunted, a bit surprised at her fervor. She paid no mind to his funny (to her) noises and pulled him down to the couch to continue kissing. It's all she really wanted to do. Kiss and be kissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point this isn't a Space Opera, it's a Space Soap Opera! Here, have all the emotions!


	19. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter that could have been super long, but I decided to be mean and split it up! Mwhahaha!
> 
> I didn't intend to go this way... But I've been re-watching GIRLS with my girl squad, and sad Adam got to me! So... fair warning, sad Kylo and Rey ahead. It's all Adam Driver's fault with his teary 'about to get arrested for not really but kinda stalking' eyes.

* * *

 

"I just can't believe that Ben would  _buy_  a person. Especially not Rey! After all she's told us... I thought he loved her!" Leia was holding it together pretty well after learning of her son's most recent atrocity.

Finn had broken the news over breakfast. He barely made it that long! Everyone was shocked and agreed that even  _that_  was pretty low for Kylo Ren; however, they were relieved, in a way, to learn that Rey didn't leave willingly and abandon them.

"The good news is she's not pregnant with that  _monster's_  child!" Finn continued, then added to Leia, "No offense."

Leia ignored this and pressed Finn for more information. "Are you really sure that this is the case? What else did she say?"

"She doesn't want us to come for her, she thinks Ren would kill everyone, but she said she's going to try to escape. Though, I didn't get to give her a hint to where we are. She won't be able to find us if she does escape. We have to go get her!"

Poe had been fiddling with his datapad during this discussion and sighed heavily as he set it down. "We can't go get her," he spoke up. "The trackers either aren't working, or Ren found and destroyed them. There's no way to find them."

"What?! If he found them then he may take it out on Rey!" Finn began panicking.

"I wouldn't worry about that. There's no point for him to hurt her. He's already done the worst thing possible... Besides, he's not going to hurt his...  _property_." Poe said that like it was the most difficult thing to ever come out of his mouth.

"Poor Rey..." Rose muttered to herself.

Conni nodded in agreement. "She was so in love with him. Why would he  _do_  such a thing?!"

" _Excuse_  me?! In love with  _him_? How do you figure that?!" Finn spoke up, but both Poe and Leia looked as shocked as he did at Conni's statement.

"Well, she told Rose she was..." Conni shrugged as the focus turned to Rose.

"Oh, why can't you keep your mouth shut?" Rose snapped at her friend.

" _You_  told me! You know I'm bad at keeping personal secrets! Maybe keep  _your_  mouth shut!" Conni argued back.

"Ladies!" Leia interjected to gain control. "Back to the matter at hand... I trust Rey. She's already proved herself to be resourceful, and she's more than capable of handling my son! I say we do as she asked, let her work her plan and stay by the comm in case she reaches out. We'll take turns to make sure it's always manned."

"What if she can't handle him? Especially now that he  _owns_  her!" Finn pointed out, not wanting to back down from his need to rescue Rey.

"Finn," Rose said softly, taking his hand. "I truly believe he won't hurt her. I think he loves her too, in his twisted weirdo way. The good thing about her belonging to him is that none of the First Order can touch her without Ren murdering them. I'm more fearful of her being stuck on a ship with Hux. That guy gives me the creeps!"

Poe chuckled. "Hugs... Rey has nothing to fear from General Hugs. That man is a joke!"

"A dangerous joke," Leia corrected. "I agree with Rose. Rey's biggest threat is from anyone else on that ship. So we need to keep our ears to that comm."

* * *

_Rey was in the darkness again. Everything pitch black, with a black shimmery floor beneath her. Nothingness all around. This time, however, she couldn't move, her feet rooted to the floor._

_"Poor little orphaned scavenger... He has you now. There's no going back. You're his, but is he yours? Of course not! You're nothing! Nothing!" The whispers hissed. "You keep betraying him and he'll eventually give you what you deserve... Death!"_

_Rey knew she was dreaming but couldn't wake up. These whispers were different than before and seemed to hold her in place with their taunting._

_"Ben!" she called into the darkness. Rey knew he'd help her._

_"There's no 'Ben' here, dear! Just Kylo. No more light. Just darkness. He's ours. You're his. You're ours."_

_"What are you?!" she asked, sounding more desperate than she liked._

_"We're both darkness and light but neither. We're warning you. Stop playing games or you'll die. He'll die. Everyone you love will die."_

Rey hadn't had one of those dreams for a long while. They seemed to have stopped once she and Ben found harmony. She stretched out to reach for him but found empty sheets. She sat up groggily and pulled the sheet around herself as she slipped out of bed. Rey found Ben quickly, relieved that he hadn't left her alone. She felt the need to be near him, to touch him after  _that_  dream.

Ben was sat on the sofa with his back to her. He was fully dressed, and Rey briefly wondered how long he had been awake. She snuck up behind him and gently kissed his neck before looping her arms loosely over his shoulders.

"How long have you been up?" she whispered, still nuzzling his neck.

Kylo was unresponsive to her actions and remained stiff and unmoving. It took Rey a bit too long to realize that something was off with his mood. "How long have you been lying to me?" he countered in a carefully neutral tone, anger bubbling under the surface.

 _What now?!_  she thought. He seemed to always be angry about something. "What are you talking about? I haven't been lying to y- eeeh!"

She squeaked as she was cut off by Kylo quickly grabbing her and pulling her over the back of the sofa to sit in his lap. He thought that being this close she would be unable to mislead him again. He took her hand and place one of Poe's trackers in it. Her eyes widened a bit and she stole a glance at the table in front of the couch to notice the smashed pieces of the three other trackers.

"Did you plant these? Is  _that_  what Hux unwittingly caught you doing?! Or was it the little talk with  _Finn_  that got you captured?"

Rey was fully prepared too defend herself against the accusation regarding the trackers, but when he brought up her conversation with Finn, all the fight left her.

"How did you -"

"I have eyes everywhere,  _Sweetheart_ ," he told her, snapping the endearment. "Sven saw you enter the radio room. He came to me in the middle of the night, when he knew you'd be asleep, so that I could better investigate your deception."

"I haven't lied to you," Rey said firmly. "Those trackers were planted a while ago... That's what they did when I was...  _distracting_  you at the wedding. I forgot about them until Finn brought them up."

"How  _convenient_."

Rey bunched the sheet tightly and pushed herself off of Kylo but stayed on the sofa next to him. "You  _have_  to understand that I needed to let them know that I'm safe."

" _Safe_? You and Finn quite like to paint me the monster... It didn't seem that you were conveying that you were  _safe_  with me at all!"

"I couldn't be completely truthful with Finn in fear of someone learning the truth about us. As you can see, it was right for me to be guarded."

"You're expecting me to meet with your Resistance friends to offer a truce, yet you go behind my back to feed into their beliefs that I'm nothing more than a bloodthirsty murderer! How can I trust you?! Right now I think you're setting me up for another trap, taking me to them to be captured... as a sort of payback for what I've done."

"No!  _I'm_  not vindictive-" she argued.

"Ha! Unlike  _me_ , you're suggesting?!" he bit out the question.

"You  _did_  buy me to be your slave as payback for not accepting you," she reminded him, trying to keep her rising anger out of her voice.

Kylo stood up to angrily pace, his new coping mechanism to avoid saying or doing something they'd both regret. "Up and down and around and around we go, never truly meeting in the middle," he began. "I can't keep doing this with you, Rey. It's  _exhausting_."

"Doing what?" she asked, confused at where his train of thought was headed.

"Not trusting each other. Playing these little games. I  _need_  to know that you're on my side, that you have my back as I've got yours, but that's just not the case. The more I get to actually know you, the less I trust you."

"Really?! These two  _little_  things, of which I've produced perfectly good explanations, have caused you to  _completely_  lose trust in me?" Rey asked incredulously, failing to keep the hurt from her tone.

"Yes, Rey. If you can't bother to be truthful about  _two little things_ , then how can I expect it of you regarding big things? Things that could get me killed?!"

Rey was silent to seriously consider his words. She hated to admit that he had a point, and her pride refused to voice that to him. So she sat in silence. This would blow over like every other argument they've had. Their love for each other always saw them through.

Kylo looked down at her and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "You know I feel emotions... intensely.  _I'm_  intense. When I was little and had bad dreams, I wasn't afraid, I was terrified. When another little boy made fun of my dad for not being born into privilege, I punched him in the nose. When I met you, I fell in love almost instantly. Maybe it-  _we_  are just another  _thing_  I felt too intensely. Something  _I_  forced. Maybe we're not meant to be at all..."

A pause. Rey couldn't speak. Kylo sighed, clearly disappointed.

"I need to go. I'm... I can't be here with you right now," he said stalking to the door. He opened it, then decided to address her once more. "I need some time to think about... us. And what to do with you if I decide you're just not worth it anymore."

And with that he was gone, locking Rey in with her now frantic thoughts. How had this happened? She really didn't think it was all that big of a deal! He, as usual, was overreacting. Why couldn't she have said something-anything to try to fix things? What  _could_  she have said? He couldn't really believe that they weren't meant to be together! Especially after all his talk of how it was the force's will that they bring balance, and they do it by being together.

Ben wouldn't really leave her, right? He was the one who had done all of the bad things, and she gave him a chance... had faith in him and forgave him his past actions. She, on the other hand, hadn't really done anything  _truly_  awful.  _He_  was the one who was always so desperate for her. How, then, could he be the one to want to walk away?!

Rey tried not to, but she couldn't help her usual insecurities of not being good enough for anyone to want to stay to creep to the forefront of her mind. Kylo. She couldn't even keep  _Kylo_. The man who seemed to have loved her so much to do everything from kill his master to agreeing to take down the First Order so they could be together. Even he wanted to throw her away.

What was she going to do now? What was  _he_  going to do?! Would he imprison her as an enemy? Would he kill her? At this point, with his reaction, she really didn't know. For the first time, in what felt like a lifetime ago, Rey was afraid.

* * *

Kylo stormed through the halls. He needed to get to the training room. He needed to fight off some of his anger. He violently rounded a corner and collided with another being, clothing scattering all over the floor.

"Oh! Supreme Leader! Please forgive my clumsiness!" The being was a woman, because of course he'd have to come face to face with her another woman right now. He had never wanted to stay away from the opposite sex more in his entire life, and here was another one!

"It's ok," he muttered, bending over to help pick up the articles of clothing. "It's not like you meant to run into me, and I'm pretty sure that I did more damage to you than you did to me."

The girl blushed. Kylo had to admit that she was very pretty, her blonde hair and blue eyes were a nice change from Rey's features. When the girl stood back up to her full height, he also noticed that she was taller than Rey.

"You didn't have to help me," she said, gathering the clothes from his arms.

"What kind of leader would I be if I didn't help out every now and then?" he smirked.

The girl giggled. He made someone giggle. He didn't recall ever making Rey giggle...

"I'm Nadia," she decided to introduce herself. "I'm a sort of personal assistant to some of your Generals... I feel like I spend most of my time taking their jackets to get cleaned and fetching Hux kaf! I swear that the First Order runs on the stuff."

"I'd say you're right. I love the stuff myself."

"Maybe I could fetch you yours sometime... "

Was... Was she flirting? With  _him_? Impossible. No one even dared to  _look_  at him.

"Uh... yeah. Yeah, that could be good. Sometimes an actual person would be better than a droid. Would give you a break from laundry runs, as well."

She smiled at him.  _Smiled_. An actual smile, and he didn't have to do anything! No promises of helping people he didn't like. No trying too hard to be charming. Nothing! Just being himself.

"Well, I look forward to serving you, Supreme Leader-"

"Kylo," he offered. "Kylo is fine. Especially if you're doing me a favor."

The girl, Nadia, seemed to blush even more. "Alright then, Kylo. I'll be seeing you."

"I'll be around, " he replied and continued quickly on his way. _I'll be around?! Worst. Response. Ever. You complete idiot!_ he thought immediately. Although he felt that he had embarrassed himself, his anger had subsided. He decided that maybe a break from Rey and her perfect light-sider mentality would be good for him. That way he could figure out what  _he_  really wanted... without  _her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I go back and forth between Ben and Kylo. That was for a reason. Ben is always Rey's pov. Kylo is for us or when she even notices that Ben has been 'put away' by Kylo for the moment.
> 
> Nadia is like Charlie's Angels era Cameron Diaz. So, basically Barbie doll gorgeous!


	20. Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things:
> 
> Insecurity attack for our lovebirds! Kylo's insecurity is that everyone overlooks him for other priorities- he's never been #1 to anyone. Rey's insecurity we already covered, she's afraid no one will ever love her enough to stay. She also jumps to conclusions... The girl's mind is spiralling!
> 
> The pain train continues. My bad. Still, blame Adam!
> 
> Warning: mention of miscarriage ahead.
> 
> Oh, what will I do  
> If I can't be with you  
> Tell me where will I turn to  
> Baby who will I be  
> Now that we are apart  
> Am I still in your heart  
> Baby why don't you see  
> That I need you here with me
> 
> ("Gone" NSYNC)

 

* * *

Forty. Eight. Hours. It had been forty-eight hours, and he still hadn't returned. Rey had changed her clothes, eaten meals brought by droids, noticed Troopers guarding the door, taken a shower, taken naps, jumped on the bed, danced around the room to no music, but mostly sobbed during those hours he spent missing. Or rather, she spent missing him. Without him she had nightmares every time she fell asleep. They all involved him killing her.

She was simultaneously heartbroken and relieved every time the door opened and it was just a droid with food and drink. She was bored out of her mind but didn't want to face him and the decision he had made about her- them.

On day five Rey woke up feeling sick to her stomach in a slightly bloodied bed. At first she thought someone had snuck in to harm her, then she thought that she had been poisoned. After checking herself in the shower, she realized it was just that her monthly cycle had finally arrived. The painful cramps and heavy bleeding that she hadn't experienced in the past she attributed to her recent nourishment. Malnourished girls rarely had periods, and when they did they'd be short, relatively painless, and very light.

Well, this was embarrassing! Add her ruining his bed to the list of reasons for Kylo to be angry with her! Rey stripped the bed, set the sheets by the door, put on clothes- black clothes, and knocked loudly on the door. She knew she wouldn't find any feminine products in the chambers of a man, but she did search through all of his things, of course coming up empty-handed. She was going to have to ask the Troopers.

The door slid open, and Rey found that six Troopers had been guarding the quarters. She felt that it was a bit excessive...

"Um... Hi there," she greeted them with a small wave. They clutched their guns, ready to fire, at the movement of her hand.

"What do you want, slave?" one of them addressed her.

"Are any of you women under there?" she asked nervously.

"No. What do you want?" the Trooper asked again.

Hhmm... Maybe she could use this to get out of the room... At least for a bit!

"I'm bleeding... A lot!" she told them, trying to sound distressed. "I don't know what's wrong. I need to go to medical. I thought I was pregnant, but now I- I..." She brought up some tears and let the implication sink in. She wasn't technically lying... when she first got there she  _had_  thought she could be pregnant!

There was hesitation in the Troopers. She could feel it. This made her wonder what orders they had received. For good measure, she pulled the sheets off the floor to show them. Since she was going to be embarrassed anyway, she may as well really go for it.

The Troopers closest to the door took a step back, as if her blood would magically jump off the sheets and onto them. "Ok," the Trooper she now assumed was in charge finally spoke up. "We'll take you. Don't try anything. We don't want to hurt you."

Rey nodded and was allowed to pass through the threshold. The Troopers surrounded her and led her in the direction of the med bay.

Now her thoughts jumped to what she would do if they came across Ben- Kylo. Would he acknowledge her? Of course he would, if only to send her back to the room because he knew she wasn't pregnant. She grew a bit paranoid and checked every corridor and nook they passed to be sure to see him  _before_  he saw her! And, she did see him first. Though, she needn't have worried about him seeing her. His eyes were closed, and his lips were kissing someone else. It made sense now.  _That's_  why he'd been gone. He had found comfort with someone new.  _Already_.

It felt as if Rey's heart dropped to her stomach, and the urge to vomit returned. She  _knew_  she was a dead girl. Ben's love was the only thing keeping her alive in this place, and she had apparently lost that for good. What was taking him so long to decide to kill her? Would he do it himself? Would he get Sven or Pogba to do it? Or would it be a complete stranger? Maybe give Hux the chance, to keep the man's ambitions at bay for a bit longer... Rey shuddered at the thought of being handed over to Hux.

She needed to get out of here. The realization of her immediate need to escape came crashing down on her once they were all inside the elevator. She centered herself and hid her panic as best she could. Luckily, she was actually in pain and bleeding, so she was sure that the Troopers would just think that was the cause of her distress.

Dr. Vormir ushered Rey into a small exam room and sent the Troopers away. They agreed to stand guard in the hallway. She had Rey get completely undressed to be sure that everything was indeed ok with her health. Rey wondered if the doctor thought Kylo mistreated her. Maybe she would help her...

"Rey," Dr. Vormir pulled her from her thoughts. "I want to check you thoroughly. This is quite a bit of blood for just starting your monthly cycle."

Rey nodded. "Do whatever you need to do. I'm in no hurry."

The doctor had a droid come in to scan her. It did a general scan of her whole body before doing a more thorough check of her abdomen, or rather her uterus. Vormir was studying a datapad, which obviously held the results of the scan. Rey had to give the doctor credit, her expression betrayed nothing!

Once the scan was complete, Vormir dismissed the droid and pulled up a chair. Rey didn't find comfort in the fact that the doctor felt the need to take a seat.

Vormir took a breath before she began, her kind eyes finally meeting Rey's. "Do you recall during your last visit that I mentioned there was a margin for error when taking a pregnancy test so early?" Rey nodded. "Well, I'm sorry to say that you're experiencing a miscarriage." The doctor got right to the point. "However, the other baby is fine for the time being. It's relatively common for this to happen when multiples are involved."

"Wait," Rey finally found her voice. " _What_?! You're saying that I'm both having a miscarriage and still pregnant?"

"Yes," Vormir confirmed. "You were pregnant with fraternal twins. Unfortunately, you have lost one of them. I'll keep you for monitoring, but I wouldn't worry about the other baby. Everything looks good and strong in there. I'll run a blood test to be sure of everything," she informed her.

"I- I  _can't_  be pregnant," Rey whispered. "I need to... Can I get..." Her first instinct was to ask to get rid of it, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Then something she had heard somewhere, though she couldn't exactly recall, popped into her head. "Is it still a law that a pregnant woman can't be executed?" Rey asked quietly, almost afraid the Troopers would overhear.

Vormir cocked her head and gave Rey a strange look. What had happened since this girl's last visit?! Last time she was joined by a just-as-nervous potentially expectant father, in the form of the Supreme Leader. This time she was flanked by six guards but was all alone. And going through a slightly traumatic experience. Where the hell was Kylo Ren this time?!

"Yes. It's still the law," Vormir answered. She then had to ask, "Are you afraid you'll be executed?" Tears ran down Rey's face as she nodded. "Why would you think such a thing?!" the kind doctor prodded.

Rey shook her head. "I can't talk about it right now, but the last thing he said to me was a threat. And that was five days ago!"

"Listen to me," the doctor took her hands, "I won't let  _anything_  happen to you. You can stay here as long as you like. I can have word sent to the Supr-  _Kylo_  immediately."

"No!" Rey said firmly. "I'm not ready for him to know.  _I'll_  have to tell him, somehow, myself."

Vormir reluctantly agreed and left Rey to test her blood. She had previously promised to keep everything confidential, and she had no intentions of going back on her word. She decided to also order the poor girl some food to be brought straight to her bedside.

Rey thought that she might be in mild shock. She was suddenly oddly calm about her situation. Maybe it was because she had a decision to make. She usually waited. This time she had decided to run. She had never wanted to be alone more in her entire life. She obviously couldn't stay, even if the law dictated that Kylo couldn't have her killed. There was no way that, first, she could face him and his new love daily, or second, have him stay with her out of pity because he knocked her up. Or, third... what if her unwanted pregnancy further inspired him to get rid of her? She was sure that Kylo could concoct some sort of 'accident' resulting in her death. Two birds, one stone.

When she first thought she was pregnant, there was no way she wouldn't tell him that they would be having a child together. Now? There was no way she  _could_  tell him! She didn't want to tell anyone. She wanted to run far away from everyone and everything to have her baby, and raise a little person who was guaranteed to love her.

* * *

Kylo had spent his several days away from Rey training hard with his knights, holding meetings with his Generals, and spending a bit of time with his new friend, Nadia. He found that slipping back into some of his old habits was a welcome distraction. He felt more like himself again.

Sven and Pogba were fiercely loyal to him, but they couldn't help insisting that he hear Rey out. He simply didn't want to. He didn't go back to his room, and didn't know when he would-  _if_  he would. Instead, Kylo had slept in a smaller spare room, not far from his knights, and had meals sent to Rey.

He had met Nadia a few times each day to talk over caf. Kylo enjoyed her company, mainly because he didn't feel like he had to try at all for her to like him. He was proud of himself to not mention Rey even once during their time together.

On day five, Sven and Pogba told him that his behavior was inappropriate. How dare he keep his  _queen_  locked away, completely ignoring her and with no other human interaction, while he went around with another woman!

"It's not like that," Kylo argued.

"How  _is_  it like, then?" Pogba challenged.

"I just like talking to someone who isn't constantly judging me. Who respects me," he explained.

"You really think that Rey doesn't respect you?" Pogba asked disbelievingly.

"She  _doesn't_  respect me!"

Sven scoffed. "Well, Nadia respects your position and your wealth. I'm not so sure she respects  _you_."

"Watch it!" Kylo warned. "You don't know her. You don't know our relationship."

"Oh! A  _relationship_ , is it?! How do you think  _Rey_  would feel about that?!" Pogba chimed in.

"I don't care  _what_  Rey feels," he snapped. "I have actually been thinking about letting Hux throw her into a cell to appease the man!"

"You've lost it, brother!" Sven said, shaking his head with Pogba nodding in agreement. "I thought you brought Rey here to help you  _and_  because you love her."

"I don't know how I feel about her anymore," he told them. "I mainly feel anger.  _She_  makes me so angry  _most_  of the time, and I can't afford to lose control now."

"We know what she did. She lied, she snuck around behind your back, she continued the charade that you're a 'bad guy,' which is what you wanted by the way. But that girl  _loves_  you. She's sacrificed a lot to be with you. You  _owe_  her the decency of trying to work it out!" Sven told him.

Kylo sighed. "Maybe there's nothing to work out. I don't want to be my parents, staying with my first love and ending up miserable."

"I'm pretty sure  _you're_  what made your parents miserable... " Sven muttered.

"Mind yourself, Sven!" Kylo warned. "You know what? I'm finished talking about this. You two just do what you're told and keep your eyes on Hux and his minions."

"Yes,  _master_..." the knights grumbled.

"I'm supposed to meet up with Nadia, my  _friend_ , soon anyway." Kylo grabbed his tunic to pull it back into place. "If either of you say anything negative about Nadia again, I'll send you both away to replace you with Thad and Luca!"

The knights nodded their understanding, though they looked offended. They had a right to feel that way- Thad and Luca, although dear brothers in the Knights of Ren, were not the brightest lightsabers in the group, so to speak... While the remaining two knights, Bryce and Amir, were hotheads, and Kylo didn't need them on this ship at the moment- they'd be more trouble than help. Besides, Amir was a terrible flirt and would not care about Kylo's feelings towards Rey. He'd definitely try to get into her pants!

Kylo made his way to the dining hall, and a slight smile graced his lips when he saw Nadia balancing two cafs that looked as hot as Mustafar.

"Let me help. Don't want you to burn yourself!" he said, taking a cup from her.

"Thanks," she said as they found a seat. She blew into her cup before asking, "How has your day been?"

"Just how I like it, uneventful," he replied.

"Same," she said, smiling.

Kylo decided to open up a bit and told her about how he argued with his knights; however, he left out the main topic of contention- her and Rey. Nadia, as usual, was very understanding to his side of the story. She didn't understand how the knights could be so ungrateful to him after everything he's done for them!

It was nice to finally have someone truly on his side. Kylo, not wanting to let that feeling go, suggested he walk her back to wherever it was she had to go next. Nadia readily agreed. They walked a bit, took the elevator up a few floors, and headed down the winding corridors. They made small talk, but Kylo could sense the change in Nadia. There was something she wanted to say but was holding back.

"Kylo..." she stopped him with a word and her hand on his arm. She then looked around and pulled him to a smaller side corridor that didn't seem to go anywhere important. He looked down at her, waiting patiently for her to explain her sudden actions. "Please forgive me if I'm overstepping a boundary, but I think we've become friendly over the past few days. You've seemed, I don't know, sad... angry... lonely. I care about you, and I just want to help make you feel better."

Nadia was now gently running her hands up his arms, and Kylo was completely frozen, not knowing what was happening or what to do about it. Before he could have any other thoughts, she was gripping his shoulders, pulling herself towards him, lifting up just enough to kiss him firmly on the lips.

Part if him yelled  _NO_! He told that part to  _fuck off_. Kissing Nadia didn't feel exactly right, but it still felt nice. So, he went along for the ride, letting her control the pace but matching her with every new pressure and sensation. She wound her arms behind his neck, and they both moved so her back was pressed up against the wall.

Nadia broke the kiss to whisper seductively in his ear, "I told you I'd make you feel better. Now I want to make you feel  _really_  good." She took his earlobe into her mouth to give it a little lick and a nip. "I mean, of you're  _up_  for it," she said grinding her pelvis against

Kylo was at a loss for words. He'd heard about forward women, but not a single one of them had ever given him a second glance. Heck, most didn't give him a first glance... And not just the forward ones.  _All_  women! He'd had a few makeout sessions involving heavy touching during his life, even had a girl or two go down on him, but never this. So now that he found himself in the clutches of a beautiful woman who was actually throwing herself at him, he found himself nodding.

He wanted to feel better. To forget Rey. Nadia  _wanted_  him. Wanted to make  _him_  feel good. How could he turn that down? So he led her to his temporary quarters, all the while trying to convince himself that he and Rey were over and this wasn't 'inappropriate,' as his knights put it.

Nadia wasted no time stripping off her shirt and going for his pants. "Whoa whoa whoa! Let's slow down a bit," Kylo said, stopping her hands from, most likely, ripping his pants straight off. A mix of genuine want to go slow, nerves, and hesitation had caused his command.

She smirked but silently agreed, deciding to continue kissing him instead. They made their way onto the bed, with her straddling him, to continue kissing. Her hand eventually made it to where she wanted it - down his pants to  _play_  with him. Soon his pants were pushed down to his thighs, her mouth was around him, his hand in her hair, and she was making him feel good.

* * *

There was an alarm. Kylo jolted out of bed, looking around. He noticed that Nadia was still fast asleep. He knew the alarms weren't going off in the ship, it seemed they were only in his head.

He shoved his boots on and righted his clothing before taking off to find Sven and Pogba. Maybe this was something only force-sensitives could hear. He hadn't made it too far when the alarm stopped. It didn't come back, and he was half tempted to just go back to Nadia.

Kylo finally found the knights, as they were also in search of him. They informed him that not only had they heard it too, but they knew the source. Rey. She had stolen a craft and escaped. They weren't sure how it exactly happened, but it had to do with the fact that she was let out of the room and taken to medical.

All Kylo could focus on was that Rey was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys... If it makes you feel better, that whole Nadia bit was blah to write! It kinda hurt. What do you all think Rey can forgive? Any of it? All of it? I purposely left it a bit "how far did they really go" because I'm still trying to decide what my Rey would be able to forgive.
> 
> On a happy note: The day is finally here! Adam is back hosting Saturday Night Live. I just need Matt the Radar Technician back in my life! Can't wait to see what he does... ;-)


	21. Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. Yeah. Kylo was a bit of a cheater... Not that it's ok, but, to him, he didn't think they'd get back together. So he thought with his 'other head!'
> 
> I was a bit nervous to have Rey have a miscarriage, but it's sooo common in actual life that I went with it. I had one before I had my son, and I have a friend who had Rey's exact situation happen. Happy to say that their surviving baby is now a terrorizing toddler!
> 
> SNL review/soapbox in notes below. Feel free to skip. :-D
> 
>  
> 
> I will be your soldier  
> I'll stand and fight until it's over  
> Oh, and if your heart is getting colder  
> You know I will always be your soldier
> 
> You don't have to hide your scars  
> I'll be there when you fall apart  
> And fix you like a soldier
> 
> You don't have to go to far  
> Baby just lay down your arms  
> Now that the battle's over
> 
> ("Soldier" Backstreet Boys)

* * *

Rey yawned as her borrowed ship broke the atmosphere to Carcaso. She had, of course, gone back to Naboo at first, and Sandrine provided her the information she needed to find the Resistance, as well as a new ship so she wouldn't be found.

Although she wanted to run away from everything, she knew she needed to get and give closure in regards to her friends and the Resistance. And Leia. Part of her thought Leia deserved to know that she was going to be a grandmother, but she still didn't want to tell Kylo, so it wasn't fair to tell anyone else. Not yet. Maybe one day. Her plan was to stay for a few months, before her predicament became obvious, then head off for somewhere new. Begin a new life.

Heading back to the planet where she and Ben had completely given themselves over to each other was difficult. Carcaso held such wonderful  _and_  painful memories. It's where they had conceived their child but also where she had tricked him for the first time. She hoped to build better memories this time around.

Poe was the first friend she saw when she made it to the Resistance's settlement. She ran into his arms, and he spun her around. When he released her, he took her face in his hands and looked her in the eyes.

"Part of me thought we'd never see you again!" he told her, smiling broadly. Then he pulled her into another tight hug.

"Rey?!" a female voice questioned. Poe released her enough to see Rose and Conni rush them for a group hug. It was then she was happy that she made the choice to go back to her family. To not run away from everything.

"Where's Finn? And Leia?" she asked through the bodies surrounding her.

They all parted before Poe answered, "Leia should be in her hut. Finn is in the Falcon. Waiting to hear from you."

Rey smiled, gave Poe one more big hug, and then sprinted off for the Falcon. "Finn?!" she called once onboard.

"Rey?!" she heard echo through the ship, along with heavy footfall.

They met in the middle, colliding into a warm hug like they did when reunited on Crait.

"Are you ok? He didn't hurt you?" Finn asked, holding back tears.

"I'm uninjured, if that's what you're asking," she echoed a response from weeks, maybe even months, ago.

"Uninjured is good," he replied, releasing her.

"Looks like you all have made some amazing progress," she commented as they exited the ship, her arms looped through one of his.

Finn nodded, looking around at the Resistance's hard work. "We're doing well enough." Rey smiled and nodded, taking in her new surroundings. "How are you,  _really_? What happened? How did you escape?"

Rey shook her head. "There's so much to say. Just as we did last time, I think it's best if we meet as a group. I don't really feel like repeating myself... "

"I can get everyone rounded up, and Rose can show you where to clean up."

* * *

Rey flopped onto Rose's bed, thoroughly exhausted.

"No offense, but get your grimey ass off of my bed!" Rose grabbed a pillow and hit Rey with it. "And lose those horrible First Order issued clothes!"

Rey giggled. "This bed? You want me to get off of  _this_  bed?" she asked and began to roll around.

"Ew! Nevermind! At this point, you should sleep here and I'll share with Finn."

"Ooohhhh! So you and Finn  _share_  now?" Rey fished for answers. She rolled onto her stomach and rested her chin in her hands to wait for her friend's reply.

Rose tossed the pillow back onto the bed and seated herself next to Rey. "Maybe..." she replied with a shy smile.

Rey laughed. Ah, it was good to be back!

Rose's expression suddenly became more serious. "Sooo... You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I want you to know that you can say anything to me. This is a judgement-free zone."

Rey softly smiled at her friend. "Thanks," she said sincerely. "Though, I'll be talking about it soon enough."

"I know... Just, if you didn't feel comfortable telling everyone  _everything_ , know that I'm here for you."

"I'll keep that in mind," Rey replied, appreciative to be back with Rose.

The girls sat in silence for a while, just enjoying each other's presence. Finally, Rose broke the silence, "Do you want to go get some sweet pastries after the meeting?"

Rey turned her head slowly to look at Rose. "What kind of question is that?! Have you met me? I  _always_  want to get sweet pastries!"

Rose smiled brightly. "Well, for now, I'll show you where to wash, and I'll get you some  _better_  clothes!"

Rey summoned her last bit of energy to climb off of the bed. She followed Rose to a small building that contained a common washing area. There were six tall stalls surrounding individual showers, each with a changing area in the front. It wasn't as fancy as a real fresher, but as long as the water was warm, no one seemed to mind.

From the safety of the shower, Rey double-checked to be sure that she was no longer bleeding. It had stopped while in the med bay, but she wanted to be sure. Though, she had the feeling that most of it had covered Kylo's bed... This led her to wonder what would happen when he found his room in such a state? Rey hoped that he wouldn't hurt the good doctor, and she desperately hoped that the doctor would keep her secret as she had promised.

Rey dried off, changed into the clean clothes Rose provided, and twisted her wet hair into one top bun. She met Rose back in her room, and they walked to Leia's hut together. Rey was happy to enter with Rose and that Finn, Poe, and Conni were already present. She didn't know if she could have faced Leia on her own, especially with all she had to say about Kylo Ren.

Leia embraced Rey immediately. "I'm happy that you're safe and have found your way back to us. However, I would be holding in my own feelings of I didn't share that I had hoped Ben may have had a change of heart...? "

Rey pulled away to look into Leia's eyes, eyes that looked so much like Ben's, soft and chocolate brown. "He did... then he didn't," she stated.

"Does he really  _own_  you?" Conni asked, dying to know this more than anything else.

Though Conni asked, she addressed Leia. "He did, but he doesn't anymore. He gave me my freedom," she admitted. "I... I lied to Finn." She turned away from Leia to take one of Finn's hands. "I'm sorry. I was afraid that someone would be listening. We were making a plan, him and I, to get rid of the First Order...start something new.  _His_  knights were also in on it. I made him out to still be a monster. He wasn't. He was trying to  _do_  better. Make things better for the galaxy."

"I don't understand," Finn stated, as Rey released him. "He  _took_  you. Again! He  _bought_  you, and you're  _still_  making excuses for him!"

"Because this time it was  _my_  fault! If I had just been honest, with him  _at least_ , the plan would still be a work in progress. Ben had agreed to discuss a possible truce with Leia. He thinks that I betrayed him, yet again, ruining any chance for a truce now! We almost had him on  _our_  side... just another mistake I've made to push him away."

"But, didn't you- couldn't you explain?!" Rose added to the conversation.

"I tried," she told them sadly. "He just wasn't hearing it." Rey went on to tell them everything that had happened.  _Almost_  everything. She left out all private details concerning herself and Ben, to Conni's annoyance, and she made no mention of the miscarriage or pregnancy.

"I still want to know how you managed to escape?!" Poe wondered out loud.

"I had my guards take me to medical. It's good to know that men really can't handle the natural workings of the female body..." At this, Poe and Finn looked confused, but Leia, Rose, and Conni gave Rey a knowing smile. Each of them had used their monthly cycle to get out of something in their lives.

"Clever," Rose stated. The guys still looked confused. "She's talking about her monthly cycle. You men think it's gross and will avoid talking about it at all costs." Poe and Finn now nodded in agreement.

"Exactly," Rey confirmed. "Once in medical, it was easy to get people to do what I wanted them to do - get me officer clothes, go back to guard the room - things like that so I could easily sneak away and take a ship. I also waited until most people would be asleep and it was a shift change for those who weren't."

"So, you really no longer think there's hope for a truce?" Leia asked what had been on her mind during Rey's whole story.

"I'm sorry, Leia. I really  _don't_  think it's possible. Kylo was only doing it because  _I_  asked him to... to make  _me_  happy because he loved me. Now there's no reason for him to go through with it."

"You really think that he doesn't love you anymore?" Rose asked, she couldn't help being skeptical. She hated Kylo Ren, but she also knew that man was head over heels in love with her friend.

Rey wanted to avoid this bit but found she couldn't. "The last thing he said to me was that he needed to figure out what to do with me if he no longer thought that I was worth all the trouble. While walking to medical, I saw him kissing another woman... I'd say he had decided. After that," she shrugged, "I just  _knew_  he was going to... get rid of me."

Rose practically attacked Rey with a hug. Conni quickly joined in. "That bastard never deserved you!" Conni mumbled against Rey's back, still in the hug sandwich.

"Get rid of you?! Did he threaten your life?!" Poe asked, shocked.

"If I ever see him again, I'm punching him in the nose," Rose stated.

"Get in line..." Finn added.

Leia remained silent, wondering how everything went wrong with two people who, though on opposite sides, loved each other deeply.

"Honestly, what upsets me the most is the fact that I could forgive him for so much, and so much  _worse_ , but my keeping a discussion with Finn a secret set him off, believing this was some unforgivable offense!"

"Ben has always had a problem with sharing, jealousy, and feeling left out. I'm  _not_  defending my son, but I understand him. He's not as forgiving as you, my dear-"

"Obviously..." Finn muttered.

Leia ignored this and kept on, "-so he will always have a hard time getting over these little things. I take some blame for these shortcomings of his. I should have been there for him more... However, he is persistent and doesn't throw away promises easily. Maybe the truce can still happen... Maybe you could try talking to him. "

"No. Absolutely not. Even if I wanted to, which I  _don't_ , I'm not ready to face him right now. I wouldn't even know what to say," Rey told Leia, who looked hopeful. "But I'll  _think_  about it," Rey added to keep Leia's hope alive.

"So... How about those pastries?" Rose asked, trying to save Rey from further awkward conversation.

"I need so many pastries right now!" Rey admitted.

Poe, Finn, and Leia agreed that Rey needed some time to adjust to her new surroundings and to try to get back to a bit of normalcy. They knew that food was the quickest way to Rey's heart and could temporarily make her feel better.

The girls led Rey to the dining hall, insisting that "girl time" was needed. Poe and Finn were more than ok with this, it got them out of uncomfortably talking about Kylo Ren, which they knew would be the main topic of discussion.

The room wasn't overly crowded, just late dinner-goers lingered. However, it didn't stop the whispers to begin at Rey's appearance. She elected to ignore it for the time being, and loaded up a plate with everything sweet.

"They'll get used to you being back," Rose said off-handedly as they sat down.

" _Unfortunately_ , basically everyone knows you've been fucking Kylo Ren," Conni informed her bluntly. "So, you'll probably get weird looks for, well, forever."

"Great. That's just  _great_ ," Rey stabbed a thing made of all chocolate with her fork.

"I can't believe that- that complete-  _ugh_! How could  _he_  cheat on  _you_?!" Rose was fuming.

"I really appreciate that you all think I'm a great person, but I wasn't always great to  _him_. I guess he didn't technically cheat... He kind of, well, it sounds so small saying it this way, but I think he broke up with me before kissing someone else. I  _did_  think he was going to kill me, so it's not like I expected him to come back to me professing his undying love, or even apologising for throwing a temper tantrum. Again," she smirked, trying her best to make light of her broken heart. She didn't need her friends to worry about her, and she definitely didn't want their pity!

"Why do you always  _do_  that?! When someone else does something wrong, you think you deserve it or it was somehow your fault. It's  _not_  your fault, Rey. No one deserves to be locked in a room for five days by someone who supposedly loves them."

"He doesn't- didn't  _love_  me," Rey pointed out. "He couldn't very well let me roam around. We're still at war, and  _I'm_  still the enemy."

"Yeah, well, at least  _telling_  you it was over for you guys and what your fate was going to be would have been better than to let you sit in a room all paranoid that the man you love was now going to murder you! There's no way he would have done that! He didn't try to kill you when he didn't even like you! Why would you think that of him now?"

"That's just it. There was  _never_  a point when he didn't  _like_  me. He wanted me from the moment he saw me. He told me so," she stated matter-of-factly.

"That's creepy..." Conni mumbled.

Rey ignored her and continued on, "This was the first time, having him threaten me like that and seeing him kissing someone else, that he  _didn't_  want me. Ben has been my protection this whole time.  _Our_  protection, really. That's over now, and I just don't know what to do." Rey shoved what seemed to be an entire pastry in her mouth.

"Is that bond thing still working?" Rose asked, though it sounded like a warning. They knew that's what had caused trouble the last time. She was afraid that Kylo would see Rey's surroundings once again and come for them.

"I hadn't even thought about the bond," she groaned. "We obviously haven't needed it since we were together. I  _hope_  that it remains shut, so to speak... indefinitely! We tried and failed to balance things, I think the force should just stop its meddling and leave us alone."

The girls veered the conversation away from Rey's failed relationship, and they filled her in on everything she had missed. It was nice to get back to a bit of normalcy. Being back with her friends helped to ease the ache in her heart.

* * *

_Kylo was stood on a balcony overlooking a small city and watching the ocean waves. He felt peaceful for the first time in a while._

_"Sir?" the voice of a faceless palace guard spoke up behind him. "We captured the boy again. We found him on your ship with the intent to steal it."_

_Kylo sighed, annoyed at this boy's behavior. "Bring him to me," he ordered._

_"He's already on the way, sir." And sure enough, two more guards appeared, dragging a young teenaged boy along with them._

_"Get off me! Let me go!" the boy was yelling. He looked at Kylo with fear and anger clear in his hazel eyes._

_"Why do you keep trying to steal from me, boy?" Kylo asked coolly._

_"Because I_ hate _you and want to get away from here!" he growled._

_"You're just a boy, not fit to look after yourself. When you're older, and you still want to leave me, I'll happily give in to your wishes."_

_"I'll never stop trying to escape from you! And I_ can _look after myself! I'm thirteen! My mother looked after herself when she was just a child!" Everything this boy said was filled with rage. Kylo knew that it was the darkness in him._

_"Your_ mother _was much more resourceful than you are, and she didn't have a choice. Her parents left her. I'm not leaving you. You're mine and I love you and I will keep you safe, even if I have to do so forcefully." Kylo was starting to lose his patience with the boy, and they both knew it._

_"Love," the boy scoffed. "You know nothing about love! You even killed the one person who actually loved you! How can I believe that I won't be next?! Just because I'm your son?! Because I'm part of you?!"_

_"I did_ not _kill your mother!" Kylo argued angrily._

_"Maybe not by your own hand, but you caused her death! It's the same thing!"_

_Kylo took a step towards his son. He wanted to be close to a part of her. "I miss her too," he said softly. "Please. Stop trying to leave me. I need you."_

_"Maybe you should have thought of that before you pushed_ her _away. You may be my father, but you never wanted me, and you'll never be my real family."_

Kylo's eyes flew open. Another nightmare of sorts. At least he wasn't killing Rey this time... However, the boy was new. Apparently, they had made a child together. This fact comforted Kylo a little. His other dreams could be passed off as a premonition, him killing her in various ways, but not this dream. He knew they weren't having a child, so there was no need to fear that this one could come true.

He hadn't gone back to his room,  _their_  room, yet. He couldn't bring himself to do it. Kylo didn't want to be reminded of her at the moment. On the other hand, he didn't go back to Nadia either. He needed to find a way to tell her that what happened between them was a mistake, one that would not be repeated, and that he was still in love with someone else. He knew he'd most likely be smacked, or even punched, but it was something that needed to be done.

Kylo was right. He was smacked. Twice.

"You should have told me that you're still with that Jedi whore!" Nadia was angry. She had the right to be; however, there was no way that Kylo would let her get away with calling Rey a whore.

" _Don't_  call her that," he growled. " _I'm_  all she has ever known. We both know that can't be said about you! You barely knew me and yet you still couldn't wait to get your mouth on me. So,  _who's_  the whore?"

" _You_! You got off by playing  _two_  women," she fumed. "Hux said you were single, and I was only interested in you for your position, anyway. You may have a hot body, but your personality sucks! You're the most awkward person I've ever met, and I can't believe you're our  _Leader_!"

"Is that all?" he asked, sounding bored.

Nadia made an annoyed noise.

"Good. I do apologize for my actions. They weren't thought out. However, had your intentions been more...  _pure_  than using me for my power, position, money, and, I guess, body, I might actually feel bad about using you. It seems as if we used each other, neither of our plans turning out well... However, I  _am_  your Leader so you  _will_  show me respect." And with that he turned on his heel, leaving her in the hall in shock.

* * *

Kylo was sprawled out flat on his back on the training mats. "I really fucked up."

"You really fucked up," Pogba agreed.

"I love that I'm going to finally get to say this to you... We  _told_  you so," Sven said, slightly smug about it.

"I know what I  _have_  to do, but I don't  _want_  to do it," Kylo groaned like a petulant child.

"I dunno, I'm pretty excited about it," Sven kept up his smug attitude. "I always liked your mom."

Kylo rolled his eyes.  _Everyone_  liked his mom. That was always part of the problem. "Rey is expecting me to go back on my word. I'm not going to do that," he confirmed what Sven and Pogba already knew. "Get into communication with your contact on Naboo. Figure out where they went."

The knights nodded and exited the room. Kylo needed to know where the Resistance had gone off to- Rey would be with them. He knew that to even  _begin_  to try to earn her trust back, he would have to surrender himself to his mother's mercy. He needed to help the Resistance. It's all Rey had ever asked of him. So, he was going to do it. Hopefully, Leia would accept him. Hopefully,  _Rey_  would.

Kylo pulled himself up of the floor and headed back to his room for the first time since he had left Rey. He entered, fully intending to head straight for the fresher, when he noticed the pile of sheets by the door.

"What was she  _doing_?" he wondered, bending over and picking at the pile. He quickly noticed that they were mostly covered in blood. He straightened and walked over to his bed. Blood was present there too. Fear began to rise within him. Kylo recalled that she had been taken to medical before her escape. Now he worried that something bad  _had_  happened while he was away. He knew that Rey wasn't the type of person to hurt herself. Did someone get in and hurt her? He was going to find out!

It didn't take much time at all for Kylo to reach the med bay. He asked the first sentient being he saw, which happened to be a droid, about what had brought his prisoner to medical. The droid directed him to Dr. Vormir.

The doctor had never been good at lying, less so when faced with her fearsome Supreme Leader. However, she knew she would do better if she gave away half the truth, while keeping Rey's most important secret. Vormir had already gotten rid of all evidence that Rey was pregnant. She had intended to play dumb anyway, knowing what such a secret could mean for all parties involved. Someone like General Hux could take advantage of the situation, and  _that_  wouldn't be good for anyone!

"She had a miscarriage," Vormir gave him. "She was experiencing pain and heavy bleeding, so she convinced her guards to bring her here. Good thing they did. Poor girl, at the  _least_ , was dehydrated! Luckily, she didn't experience any complications. Rey could have died, being trapped in that room all alone!" She said this to make Kylo feel bad, the petty side of the doctor coming through. She still didn't understand why he had left her in such a state, and why Rey thought he was going to have her executed.

Kylo wanted to tell the doctor to watch her tone- who did she think she was talking to?!- but he could only focus on the news he had received.

"A miscarriage?" he asked, clearly not expecting that to be the reason for Rey's visit. The doctor nodded. "But she told me she _wasn't_  pregnant."

Before Kylo's thoughts could stray too far into thinking Rey had kept a pregnancy from him, the doctor explained about how the test wasn't accurate since they did it too early. His thoughts then took a different turn. Did he cause this? He allowed his knights to fight her.  _He_  had fought her, even knocking her down.

Still in her man-hating mood, caused by the man in front of her, Vormir continued to press her luck with her Leader. "Well, I'm  _sure_  you're relieved. Though, I do wonder, and I know I'm overstepping here, but  _why_  did she think you were going to have her executed?"

"She  _what_?!" It was one shock after another.

"Rey was convinced that you-"

"No, I  _heard_  you. I just have no idea why she would  _ever_  think that!" Kylo was completely flabbergasted. "Did she really say that?"

"Of course, sir. Why would I make up such a thing?!" She cocked her head, assessing his reaction. To his credit, the man looked utterly shocked.

Kylo took a moment to process all of this new information coming at him. He was hurt, first and foremost, that Rey would ever think him capable of harming her. Yes, he had hurt her feelings, but it was quite a big leap from wounded feelings to murder. Maybe she really did think him to be the monster she had discussed with Finn.

The other overwhelming feeling he was experiencing was guilt. He felt it deeply, even more so than when he had killed his father. He had turned his back on Rey and was off being pleasured by another woman while she was losing their child. A child that neither of them knew about. He wasn't there for her when she undoubtedly needed him the most. Logic crept in to remind him that, of course, there was no way he could have known this would happen, but that knowledge didn't help ease the pain.

Bringing himself back to the present, he still needed information from the doctor. He could tell that Vormir cared for Rey's well-being, which is what allowed him to forgive her insubordinate remarks. "Did you help her escape?" he inquired calmly.

"I did not," Vormir replied truthfully. "That doesn't mean I didn't want to," she felt brave enough to add.

Kylo nodded, understanding how the woman felt. "The child," he began a new line of thought. "Did you know what it was? Did Rey know?"

"Officially, it was too early to tell; however, the hormones present tend to be linked to having a boy. And, no, Rey didn't want to know."

A boy. Last night's dream...  _The_  boy. Was that the son that he'll now never know?! This was all getting a bit too much for Kylo to handle, while keeping his feelings neutral on the outside. He thanked the doctor and excused himself back to his room. This time he made it to the fresher. He set the water as hot as he could stand it, almost as if to burn his mistakes away, and finally let his emotions out, tears mixing with water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SNL: All-in-all, Adam, of course did a great job with what he was given. He was way underutilized, save for the Oil Baron bit. Oh, Abraham H. Parnassus stole the show (well, behind Matt Damon's Brett Kavanaugh). I loved how Adam broke Pete, causing him to laugh a few times. Even the writer of the sketch said, "It's 150 percent Adam Driver doing it and being extremely good at acting. I lucked out so hard with him." Yes you did, my friend. Yes you did.
> 
> I was sad there wasn't a Star Wars related sketch, more specifically Matt! The only mention of Kylo was during Adam's hilariously, well, so awkwardly Adam monologue. For those of you who haven't seen it, he was forced into small talk and "the voice in his head" had to keep it together. The best part, to me, was actually his awkwardness in replying to Aidy, "it's great for to be here," and she was just like, "hang in there buddy." And of course when his Kylo came out with Kenan, theme music and all!
> 
> I most disliked Kanye... all of Kanye. I used to think he was talented. Not anymore! He sucked. My toddler makes better music. The other bit I hated, and I'm not sure what the heck he meant, maybe it was a joke, and maybe because I'm in a health field, but Adam telling people to go have a cigarette made me kinda pissed! Like, dude! Really? You're young enough to know better! Old enough too! Damn millennial hipster! (Disclaimer: Adam and I are the same age. 1983 babies! Woot woot! However, I am neither hipster nor millennial.)


	22. Truce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! Sorry for the delay... I really have no excuse except HALLOWEEN! Parties and watching Halloween things took over. I can proudly say that my son is a fan of Hocus Pocus, and Haunting of Hill House on Netflix needs to be watched by anyone who likes scary/suspenseful things. Michiel Huisman... sooo pretty! I must a have thing for shaggy-haired men! ;-)
> 
> Tremble for yourself, my man  
> You know that you have seen this all before  
> Tremble Little Lion Man  
> You'll never settle any of your scores  
> Your grace is wasted in your face  
> Your boldness stands alone among the wreck  
> Now learn from your mother  
> Or else spend your days biting your own neck
> 
> ("Little Lion Man" Mumford & Sons)

* * *

It took two days to locate the whereabouts of the Resistance. Sven's contact, and old friend, had come through for them. Kylo had to give his mother credit - hiding in the obvious spots had been working out for her. Of course she would think that he wouldn't even bother to look for the Resistance in places so closely linked to their family's past. He'd want to avoid those places anyway...

Kylo made plans to travel with Sven and Pogba to Carcaso, which meant calling his four remaining Knights back to keep Hux and his minions in line. He had to be sure that he wouldn't be overthrown just because he went missing, again, for a few days... or so. He knew that no one would mess with four strong force-users. He also didn't have to worry about Bryce and Amir doing something rash and violent, as Thad and Luca balanced them out with their peacefulness- which was a nice attribute since they weren't particularly smart... And on that matter, Bryce was probably the cleverest of them all, so Kylo didn't fear anyone out-smarting them.

They had discussed whether or not to give Prince Tolosa notice that they would be making a visit, but Kylo decided against it. He didn't want the Prince to think he was lying, warn the Resistance, and they'd be gone before he got there. They went with the plan of a 'surprise social visit,' and Kylo hoped that Tolosa would be a willing partner in coordinating a meeting with Leia.

* * *

"I really can't stand you sometimes!" Rey laughed, tossing a dirty rag at Poe's face.

"Who? Me?!" he asked innocently, catching the rag and throwing it back at her.

"Ah... Now you are really one of us, Jedi," Finn spoke up, "you can't be a member of the Resistance without finding Poe thoroughly irritating!"

"I am an  _angel_ , and you  _all_  know it!" Poe defended himself, still laughing. "Now, as I was saying... be useful, Jedi, and  _force_  all this stuff to work!" He motioned around to the several old crafts they were attempting to clean and repair.

Rey rolled her eyes as she and Finn promptly shouted, "it doesn't work that way!" simultaneously.

"Poe!" Leia called. Everyone turned to look as she crooked her finger in an order for him to follow her. The few workers all made shouts and noises insinuating that he was in trouble. Poe smirked and followed Leia away from the other workers.

With Poe gone, most of the workers decided that they could also use a break. They all left, claiming various other needs - food, toilet, nap... including Finn. His stomach had been speaking to him over the past hour. He promised to bring back snacks for the rest of his "dream team." The girls sighed loudly, hating how Finn and Poe had given them this nickname that had unfortunately stuck with everyone else as well! Though, they agreed that they would accept any snacks offered upon his return.

Rey continued to work. That's all Rey seemed to do, really. Work and sleep and eat and work some more. Rose and Conni knew that it was to keep her mind off of Kylo and her heartbreak. Finn and Poe, however, were in complete denial about how Rey really felt about he-who-shall-not-be-named. They were convinced - were desperately hoping - that it was just a misguided crush due to Rey's youth, naivety, and really having no other choices in men... so she  _obviously_  settled for that big oaf!

"Do you want to take a break?" Rose asked, settling next to Rey.

Rey glanced up from cleaning scavenged parts from one craft, that she was planning to use on another. "No," she stated simply.

"A small break could be good for the work in the long run," Conni coaxed.

Rey sighed, putting the grimey parts down. "Why? Do you two want me to continue to wallow in self-pity?"

"No... but working yourself to exhaustion isn't a healthy coping strategy either," Rose pointed out.

Rey shrugged, reluctant to agree. "It's what I've always done. I'm just going back to what I know."

"You're just sad that you haven't had sex in, like, forever!" Conni reasoned.

Rey fought a glare. "It's only been days," she corrected.

"See?! Sex..." Conni nodded, thinking she made her point. "I know Ky-  _he_  was sexy in a murdery kind of way-"

"-he's just murdery in a murder kind of way-" Rose muttered.

"BUT," Conni continued, "there are  _plenty_  of sexy men out there!  _Nice_  ones!"

They were wearing Rey down, the girls could tell by the sudden glassy quality to her eyes.

"But I don't  _want_  to be with anyone else," she all but pouted. "I'll enjoy my life of solitude," she decided.

"Oh, come on! No cock is  _that_  good!" Conni rolled her eyes at her friend's dramatics.

"Are you so sure about that...?" Rey smirked, tears gone from her eyes.

"Gross!" exclaimed Rose. "Ew!" Conni agreed. Rey's smile grew and became mischievous.

"It was just so  _big_..."

"Really, you can stop now," Rose practically begged.

"And  _thick_..."

A clearing of the throat stopped Rey from continuing on. The girls turned to see Poe scratching the back of his neck.

"How much of that did you hear?" Rey blushed deeply.

"Too much," Poe admitted. "I can hopefully convince myself that you were discussing how good the bird meat was..."

"Uh, yeah... That's  _exactly_  what was going on..." Conni fought back laughter.

Poe cast a doubtful look at them. "Ok, anyway... You girls need to take a break. Clean up and eat," he told them. "That's an order," he added when he noticed that Rey was about to protest.

Rey huffed but pushed herself off of the ground to march away.

"Why did you do that?!" Rose got to her feet, glaring at Poe.

"She was finally getting back to a bit of her old self!" Conni added, annoyed.

The girls followed after Rey, leaving Poe to wonder what the heck he did wrong?! He didn't dwell on it too long, however. He needed to get rid of the girls, anyway, and he was ok with them being annoyed at him for the time being.

Leia had confided in him that they were to receive a guest. The Supreme Leader Kylo Ren had found their location and wished to meet with his mother. Leia had accepted, much to Poe's dismay. She then gave him the task of clearing everyone away from makeshift hangar. It was the location closest to town, and Leia also had a type of office in this building. It was the best location for meeting with the enemy.

Poe understood that Leia didn't really have a choice in agreeing to meet with Ren. They weren't even close to being prepared for a fight. Trying for peace was their only option. However, if Ren made any type of request regarding Rey, Poe would defend his friend with all he had. He didn't trust the man, and Rey seemed to think that Ren wanted to kill her. Maybe the real plan, in Ren's mind, was to get close enough to murder the last Jedi. Kylo Ren had every reason in the galaxy to want to rid himself of his last sliver of weakness- pretty little Rey. Poe would  _not_  let that happen.

* * *

Leia was conflicted. To say that she was completely surprised that Ben had figured out their whereabouts would be a lie. However, she  _had_  hoped to be a bit more prepared in case they were headed for battle. He had requested to meet regarding the potential truce that Rey had mentioned. She needed to hope that this wasn't a trap. She really had no other choice but to agree to her son's offer, though she really had no intention of turning down the request. Her conflict was whether or not to tell Rey of Ben's imminent arrival and that he had planned to keep his word to her.

Leia decided to seek Rey out and question the girl further. She could then assess if Rey would be ready and willing to face Ben. Or, which would be more likely, Leia would just have to keep the visit a secret from the heartbroken girl.

Rey was found in her room, staring at the broken lightsaber. Since she had been dismissed from repairing ships, she decided to focus on how to best repair the saber. She really should have figured this out a long time ago, but she had decided to use her love as a weapon against Kylo's rage. That obviously did  _not_  work out so well...

Leia lightly knocked on Rey's open door, causing the girl to look up from her work.

"May I come in?" Leia asked but entered the room before Rey nodded her consent. "I know that you may not be up to it, but I have a few questions regarding Ben... I think you'd be able to give me some good insight into his plans."

"I can try," Rey conceded. She didn't really want to talk about Kylo, but she found that she couldn't deny Leia.

"You spent time with him, in his element, as the Supreme Leader... what do you think of his leadership skills?"

Rey took a moment to think about an unbiased response. "He inspired loyalty and fear in equal measures. However, I do believe that he has the potential to be a  _good_  leader. Especially with his knights at his side versus the First Order generals. Those men made me feel uncomfortable... and Kylo wasn't too fond of any of them."

"What makes you think he could be a good leader, instead of continuing what Snoke created?" Leia questioned.

Again, Rey paused to think before answering. "He  _wants_  to be a good leader. He wants to give more power to the people, but he also wants to ensure that power isn't corrupted or used for selfish purposes."

"And you think he still wants those things?"

"Yes. I do."

"Do you think we should still be fighting him? "

"I... I'm not sure. I think that if he is still balanced without me- if he has perhaps found peace within himself, or with someone else, instead of the hate that I inspired in him- then maybe it would be worth to see what he does with his new leadership."

"Would it be worth meeting with him...?"

Rey could tell that this was a leading question. "If you're asking if  _I_  will meet with him, then I'd have to say no. I- I just can't. He hates me anyway, and I truly believe that any involvement that I could have would just make things worse for us."

"So, you think I should let Poe have a shot at it?" Leia smiled, trying to relieve some of Rey's tension.

Rey couldn't help but to smile back. "Yeah. That seems like a really safe plan for all involved... I mean, I think I'd actually  _really_  like to watch round two of Poe versus Kylo. Who would want to miss Poe's sharp wit against Kylo's force torture? Really a win-win situation."

"But, you see, they'd both be begging for you to intercede in no time!" Leia winked.

"No, Leia. My answer is no," she stated firmly. "But good luck with that..."

* * *

Poe headed back to the hangar at the appointed time to stand with Leia before she met with Ren. As he neared, he could hear music, laughter, and shouts filed with shock and excitement. When he entered the makeshift building, Poe was annoyed to find his "dream team" back to work even though he had dismissed everyone for the rest of the day. However, he couldn't help but to be amused at the sight before him. Rey or Rose, because they were the only two skilled enough, had rigged up an old music player, and the four of them were each hosing down a ship. Stepping closer, Poe noticed that they were all soaking wet.

"What is going on in here?!" Poe inquired, barely maintaining his strict voice.

"Just cleaning up," Finn replied helpfully.

"I dismissed you all. I'm closing down the hangar for the evening. Get lost!" He ordered.

"Someone's grumpy..." Rey mocked him. "Maybe you should be nicer to those who hold power over you..."

Poe looked confused at her comment, but Finn grinned at Rey understanding her meaning. Rey nodded once and they turned their hoses on Poe.

"GUYS! NO! STOP! THIS IS COMPLETELY UNPROFESSIONAL!" Poe hollered at them while running for cover. Everyone else was laughing gleefully. "I'm serious!" he called from his hiding spot. "You have to leave right now!"

"When we're finished!" Rey called back.

"Come on, Poe!" Conni went to him to try to drag him out. "Dance with me. Embrace the occasional spray of hose."

Poe was going to refuse and stay in his hiding area, having decided to let Leia deal with this mess, when he heard Rey shriek. He bolted back out into the clearing in the hangar, certain that Ren had made an early appearance. Of course this wasn't the case, Finn and Rose had ganged up on her and were dousing her with their hoses. Rey defended herself and returned fire.

"Conni! Help me!" Rey shrieked, laughing.

Conni obliged and retrieved her hose to join Rey, leaving Poe to his hiding spot. Poe just stared at his friends in desperation. He had no clue how he was going to get them out, and quickly, to avoid a disastrous meeting. He hoped that Leia would arrive soon to help him gain control of this group!

Poe waited barely another minute before Leia entered the hangar. However, what he feared would happen had, well, happened. Ren plus two men, who were dressed similarly, had arrived with Leia. Poe glanced to his friends to see if they had noticed the new additions to their little party. He wasn't sure if he was relieved that they had not. Conni and Rose were trading hose shots, their aim a bit all over the place, while Rey was trying to hit Finn in the balls while he shielded himself, taking most of her hosing to his butt, and aimed for her face.

Leia glanced at her guests, who were doing a poor job at masking their shock, or amusement in the case of Sven, and quietly said, "Welcome to the Resistance."

"Stop. Aiming. For. My balls! It's not fair!" Finn loudly whined.

"Life's not fair!" Rey retorted with a smile.

"Rey, stop aiming for his balls," Leia called over all their noise.

All eyes turned to her, noticed her company, and all hoses were dropped immediately. Finn pushed Rey behind him and Rose stood with him. Conni inched her way to Poe, obviously in search of protection.

"I was going to avoid this, but apparently the job of keeping you four under control and out of here was too much of a chore for Poe!" Leia commented.

"I  _did_  try..." Poe muttered helplessly.

"You knew about this!?" Finn glared at Poe.

Rey sighed in frustration, but decided to calm Finn and defend Poe. "We don't even know what  _this_  is... I trust Leia. Let's just go."

"But you do know," Kylo said earnestly, stepping forward. "We had agreed that it would be beneficial to both sides to discuss the terms of a truce, or do you not remember?"

Rey couldn't find a proper response to the sudden realization that he had kept his word. So she just stared at him, trying desperately to think of something to say.

"I had hoped," Kylo continued while taking another step in her direction, "that, after I speak with... my mother, we could talk...?"

Before Rey could reply, which would have been in the negative, Rose stepped forward producing a strange device that looked as if it was designed to inflict pain via electric shock. "No, you may  _not_  speak with Rey. You may be powerful, but we will protect her from you at all costs!"

Finn didn't know it was possible, but he fell that much more in love with Rose. Kylo was taken aback but admitted to himself that he admired the plucky girl's bravery.

"Now, now, Rose. None of that is necessary," Leia interceded. "I have not given permission for Ben to speak to anyone but me... and potentially Poe." She smirked at Rey.

"Looking forward to it," Poe commented, sounding anything but! Conni looked fearful and gripped Poe's arm tightly.

"For starters, it will just be me and Ben. You lot, since you were determined to  _not_  stay away, can keep Sven and Pogba company."

At his name, Sven gave a little smile and wave. "Hi, Rey."

Rey couldn't help it. She gave a little smile and wave back. Kylo resisted the urge to glare at his brother in the force. He's stepped towards his mother, wordlessly stating that he was ready for negotiations. Leia nodded and led Ben to her makeshift office to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE KNIGHTS OF REN
> 
> Sven - Chris Hemsworth (like, Thor Dark World looking Hemsworth)
> 
> Pogba - Winston Duke
> 
> Thad - Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman
> 
> Luca - Evan Peters
> 
> Bryce - Luke Kleintank
> 
> Amir - Henry Golding
> 
> Casting my Knights almost turned into a Marvel movie! Then again, which actors aren't in a Marvel movie at this point?! I know poor John Boyega is desperate to be in the next Black Panther, and I fully endorse that! Besides Marvel, I would like to thank American Horror Story and The Man in the High Castle for my choice of actors.
> 
> I thought it would be easier if I just list actors as my knights so y'all can see what I see! (I'm also lazy and want to spend more time on the main story than describing people.) Also, just wait till them thirsty Resistance girls get their first glimpse of Sven...


	23. Treat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter, but I wanted to get something out... Especially since its Adam's birthday! Woot woot! This means the next update should be sooner rather than later. :-)
> 
> Just got tickets for the Backstreet Boys world tour. My 1999 16-year-old self is gleefully jumping up and down! Ok, maybe my 35-year-old self is too... My reason for saying this is because y'all are about to get some chapters worth of intro BSB lyrics. You are just so so welcome! ;-) Feel free to scroll.
> 
>  
> 
> But there ain't no handbook  
> You're on your own  
> Got no instructions  
> When it comes to love  
> Cause once you do something  
> Can't be undone  
> Wish I could take back  
> Letting you go
> 
> If I knew then  
> What I know now  
> I wouldn't have said  
> I don't need you around  
> Alone in this bed  
> Silence is so loud  
> So I would treat you the best  
> Baby if I knew then  
> What I know now
> 
> ("If I Knew Then" Backstreet Boys)

 

* * *

"So... This seems... nice." Sven began making small talk to try to break the tension while poking at some scavenged bits laying on a table. Rey couldn't help but to smile at his efforts and giggled when he knocked several of the items over with his large, clumsy hands.

"It's a good thing you're much more graceful with a lightsaber!" she laughed.

"He's not, really..." Pogba couldn't resist teasing his friend.

"It's true," Sven conceded. "I usually go with brute force... No pun intended. Ok, it was a bit intended."

Pogba rolled his eyes. "I have to... pee. Is there somewhere private in this...  _place_  I can do this?"

No one was sure if Pogba really had to pee, or if he was just trying to separate himself from his company. Poe agreed to take him, figuring nothing bad could really happen at the moment. Not when Supreme Leader Ren was being detained by his mother.

"I have a question," Finn spoke up once Pogba and Poe had gone. "You seem relatively nice and good-humored... What in the galaxy are you doing with  _Ren_?!"

Rey elbowed Finn in the side - she obviously didn't want to talk about  _him_. Finn was too curious to care!

Sven smiled. "I hear this a lot," he informed them. "I'm the only Knight who knew Kylo Ren when he was awkward pre-teen Ben Solo. We were not friends, per se, but we were friend _ly._ We were the only ones that we immediately knew who had the power of the force at our fingertips. We were sent together to learn from Luke."

Conni's eyes went wide. "So you were there when he murdered all of those students!"

Sven's easy smile turned into a frown. "That's not what happened."

"What  _did_  happen?" Rey couldn't help her own curiosity.

"I admittedly don't know  _exactly_  what happened between Ben and Luke. After all, there are three sides to every story. In this case, Ben's version, Luke's version, and the truth. Most of the other students saw Ben's actions as an attempt on Luke's life. The few of us who were friends with Ben believed that he wouldn't do that. There had to have been something else that had happened. This lead to a nasty fight between those who were defending Luke and those of us who were defending Ben, including Ben himself. No one started the fight with the intention to kill anyone else; however, almost all of us were not trained enough to control our power. Ben was by far the most powerful and had the most control, but he still slipped. It was all a mistake, but we knew we couldn't fix it. We had to run. Snoke was the only place to go. He quickly paired us up and then split us into three directions, keeping only Ben by his side."

Sven tried to judge the reactions, which seemed to be stunned silence. "So... I guess to answer the original question... we're friends who know the most intimate things about each other... And the ridiculous. I'm literally the only person, besides Rey, who can put him in his place. And  _that_ , is sooo very satisfying!"

"So..." Rose began piecing it all together out loud, "you're saying that the greatest warrior the First Order had was all because of a  _misunderstanding_? Just because  _one_  family didn't talk out their issues, we  _all_  had to suffer for it?!"

"Kind of," Sven admitted. "Then again, Snoke would have been in power anyway, and men like Hux would have still kissed his ugly ass."

"But Ben would have been on  _our_  side! Han would be alive..." Rey trailed off sadly.

"And you'd still be a dessert slave and he'd," Sven pointed at Finn, "still be a brainwashed Stormtrooper!" Sven watched as all expressions turned thoughtful before adding, "Or maybe everything would have still happened as it has, and it all would have turned out this way anyway. We would have just gotten here differently. There's no way to know, so I suggest we try to make  _now_  better than  _then_."

At this, they could all at least nod in agreement. However, Rey then crossed her arms and said she still wouldn't talk to Kylo. Sven could tell that though this was because she was mostly angry, she was also afraid. He just didn't understand why.

* * *

"I can't promise that, Ben," Leia told him as they were nearing the end of one hour in negotiations.

"Why not? You can  _make_  her speak with me," he replied, just short of begging.

"I can't make anyone do anything, nor will I try. As both  _her_  Leader and  _your_  mother, I give you my permission to  _try_  to mend things with her, but I will in no way allow you to harass her! I did not raise you to treat someone you love in this abysmal manner. Though, obviously, our parenting skills were lacking, we always set a good example for you when it came to loving each other and treating the other with respect."

Ben scoffed. "Yeah... you did a great job staying together..."

"I won't sugarcoat things for you anymore. Our separation was due to  _your_  actions. The loss of a child puts a strain on any relationship!" Ben stiffened at this and wondered if his mother knew of what Rey went through. "Even though you weren't dead," Leia continued, "we lost you. Our only child. We couldn't make it back from that together, so we threw ourselves further into what we knew and did best, our jobs."

" _My_  actions?" Ben decided to go on the defensive. "My actions were due to the negligence of you both! Always caring more about your careers than  _my_  well-being... I was preyed on, groomed to become what I am. I received nothing but fear-"

"That's not true and you know it," Leia retorted. She wouldn't let him get away with that assertion. "We loved you deeply. Yes, we were afraid of your potential for darkness, but we loved you and tried to do what was best for you."

"Sending me off with Luke so he could try to kill me? Good choice..."

"We should have sent you to train  _alone_  with Luke when you were much younger. We waited too long and sent you when his attention was divided among other students."

"Or you shouldn't have sent me at all! I wanted to be a pilot. I should have stayed with..." he took a breath to control his emotions, "...with dad."

"I wish that I would have kept you with  _me_. It's obvious that you have proven to be talented in the political realm."

Ben nodded. "Yes! That  _still_  would have been better than sending me off with  _him_."

"I thought you would be better off with Luke. I thought you loved your uncle-"

"I  _did_! Until he tried to  _kill_  me! He- you  _all_ , actually- did exactly what Snoke said you'd do... try to get rid of me!"

"I'm sorry, Ben. Truly. Though, I'm still not sure what really happened that night. Neither you nor Luke felt the need to explain anything to me or your father! I only know what Rey has shared, and we know she's inclined to defend  _you_."

"She's not," he argued.

Leia shook her head at his refusal to see the truth. Still. "You've always felt that people are inclined to wrong you. You've always looked at the negative in people. Well, everyone except Rey. Yet you never discussed your feelings. Maybe if you had told us of your fears, what was really happening with Snoke, how much you  _really_  did not want to go with Luke, then we could have done a better job at protecting you. But you didn't. We never knew the extent to which Snoke had already manipulated you. You just nodded and went with whatever anyone wished of you. And now, you still can't discuss your feelings, which has resulted in you pushing Rey away. I will always love you unconditionally. You will always be my beautiful baby boy. But, if you want to be a great leader, you have got to work on your communication skills. Unlike you, no one else can read minds!"

"Rey can..." he muttered petulantly. Ben took a moment, scrubbed his face with his hand, and let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm not here to talk about any of this, anyway. I'm here to keep my word to Rey, and to do what I believe is the best thing for galaxy."

"Everyone knows you're here to try to win Rey back. What if she refuses you? What will your  _word_  mean then?" Leia cautiously asked.

"If you're insinuating that I would call off the truce if Rey won't have me, then you'd be mistaken. I understand why you don't trust me, but it's even more important that I keep my word if Rey is through with me. I'm the Supreme Leader now. My word matters. I may be doing this  _because_  of her, but I'm not doing this  _for_  her. I'm finally just doing something because it's the right thing to do."

Leia nodded in acceptance to his words. Although she hid her pride in her son's development from him, she felt it deeply. Her troubled, conflicted son was now a man sure of his course. She agreed to let him lead, and she would acquiesce to (most of) his demands. She didn't have to wonder as to what had made such a profound change in him. It was quite obviously love. Even though that love might never be returned, he was staying the course.

Ben actually had clever ideas that even Poe would begrudgingly agree to, especially since Ben wanted to make Poe a General. He wanted to include the Resistance in his new world. Anyone who wanted to be a part of it was welcome. He was nothing like his predecessor. Ben wanted balance, not abuse of power.

"Hypothetically speaking,  _if_  I could provide you some alone time with Rey, what would you ask of her? Again, I cannot have you harassing her or hurting her more than she already is."

"The last thing I want to do is hurt her. I just... I  _really_  messed up. I made some mistakes...  _Bad_  mistakes. I need her to understand that I love her, I would never hurt her, and I don't ever want to leave her. Hopefully, she'll forgive me. I know that it will take time to earn her trust, but that's why for right now I'm  _only_  asking for forgiveness. I don't expect her to just love me after... well, everything. Actually, I expect her to hate me. To go back to the beginning where she sees me as some sort of monster... But, she forgave me before. Maybe she'll do it again."

Leia resisted the urge to touch her son, to comfort him. She just shrugged and agreed to see what she could do about getting Rey to at least have a discussion.

* * *

The camp was abuzz with the news of their visitors. Some people found it exciting, others were leery, and everyone kept their eyes on Rey to see her reaction. This was one of the reasons she avoided Kylo at every opportunity. She didn't want her personal feelings to interfere with everyone working together peacefully. However, a girl can only take so much!

Rey, Rose, and Conni entered the dining hall, searching for Finn and Poe. Rey noticed Kylo, Sven, and Pogba had chosen a place next to a door, which she assumed was for an easy exit. Ben looked up, noticing immediately when Rey entered the room, and tried to catch her attention just by staring at her. Intensely. Rey glared back but was pulled quickly along by her friends to sit with Finn.

The situation grew quite petty, in Ben's opinion, when Rey didn't even have to get her own food as that would have meant she'd have to walk past him. Her friends took turns fetching anything she could have ever possibly needed, either glaring at him on their way by (Finn) or ignoring him completely (Conni).

Ben bided his time, waiting for Rey to get towards the end of her meal. He then got up to fetch something for her himself as a sort of peace offering. He knew the sure way back into her good graces: food. Specifically: sweet treats. He found a version of her favorite sweet treat (though, she really liked anything with any type of chocolate), plated it up, took a deep breath, and made his way to her table. Ben could feel every eye in the room on him as he set the plate down in front of Rey. He didn't wait for a reaction before retreating back to his table. From the safety of his chair, he watched and waited to see if she would accept his gift.

Rey stared at the treat, not daring to look up at anyone. She could feel all eyes on her now that Kylo had gone back to his corner. She contemplated all possible choices, what was expected of her on both sides. She fought a spiteful smile as she rose from her seat, plate in hand. Rey found the nearest garbage receptacle and deposited the treat, including the plate, into it. She then turned on her heel and rejoined her friends.

"Damn. That was cold," Finn whispered. "Have I told you lately that you're my hero?"

Most people in the room knew the implications of rather wasting food than accepting it from someone- it was one of the biggest slights to the giver. However, knowing that this was scavenger Rey (who never turned down food - even food she didn't like that much) tossing food (not  _just_  food - her favorite food) from her former lover and darksider Supreme Leader of the entire galaxy Kylo Ren into the garbage was so very much worse!

Ben slowly stood from his table, shot Rey one last pleading look, and when she refused to even look at him, he stormed out of the room through the nearest door. Pogba and Sven exchanged calm glances, shrugged, and kept eating. Rey was sure she could hear them muttering about the waste of a tasty treat, but she also noticed the amused smirk playing on each of their lips. Remembering Sven's words about her perceived power over Ben, she was determined to gain back her confidence and put him in his place!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted Rey and Ben to have their "talk" in this chapter, but I really don't want to make this easy on him, so that's how I created the "tossed treat" bit. He really needs to understand that his girl is not playing around and will not deal with his shit. Ben can now have a feeling for what kind of storm he's walking into... A pissed off hormonal woman storm! Put on your parka, it's gonna get frosty!


	24. Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the least that I can do, just to tell you face to face  
> I was lying to myself, now I'm dying in this hell  
> Girl I know you're mad, I can't blame you for being mad  
> But baby here I am, banging on your front door
> 
> My pride spilled on the floor  
> My hands and knees are bruised and now I'm crawling back to you  
> Begging for a second chance  
> Are you gonna let me in?  
> I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you
> 
> ("Crawling Back to You" Backstreet Boys)

* * *

To say that Ben was frustrated was a bit of an understatement. He was beyond frustrated. He was almost angry, but he had decided that anger had no use in his life so he couldn't possibly be  _that_! Why these emotions? That damned 'Dream Team' kept thwarting any possible chances he had at speaking with Rey, and she wasn't very willing herself!

Obviously waiting for her to be alone at the end of a meeting? Rose pulled Rey away to see some sort of new animal that  _he'd_  never heard of...

Finally seeing her alone in the dining hall? Poe appeared out of thin air to bring her something that everyone knew she hadn't asked for and looked  _very_  unappetizing! Rey, of course, accepted it- along with his company- and forced herself to eat it.

Knocking on Rey's door before she went to bed? Conni and Rose opened the door with matching glares.

The next morning at breakfast, he sent Sven (because for whatever reason they liked  _him_ ) with a note for Rey. Sven put it on the table in front Rey because she wouldn't take it. Finn immediately picked it up, glared at Ben, and ripped it apart without breaking eye contact.

Ok, so  _maybe_  he was angry. But it was a very contained anger. Probably no one could even tell...

"Maybe she'd be willing- maybe  _they'd_  let you talk to her if you didn't look so pissed off?" Sven casually mentioned.

_Well, fuck._ "I'm  _not_  pissed off," he corrected, though neither of the knights believed him.

"Uh, yeah... Well, I'm pretty sure if only looking at that Finn kid could kill him, you'd have just done that," Pogba informed him.

"Are you really not aware of what your face looks like? I mean, you haven't worn that mask for a long while now... We can  _see_  you," Sven pointed out. "You just rolled your eyes."

"Oh! Did you  _see_  that?!" Ben bit out snarkily. He pushed himself away from the table and was on his feet. "I'm going to shower. Maybe it will help to cool down my _apparent_ pissed off mood!"

The shower, it turned out, was a good idea. It finally provided Ben with some much needed alone time. He was used to being cooped up with lots of people, but never so many people who were constantly talking about  _feelings_  and other fluffy things _._  He was baffled that even Poe would stop his important work to go pick up the slack for someone else. That person should have just been fired- or, at least, given a different job. But, no! Let's not hurt anyone's feelings!

They were all going to die. Ben just knew that Hux would find a way to overthrow him and come murder all of these half-wits! He was going to explore this idea further when he heard her. Rey.

"I'm fine!" She was insisting. "I think that I can manage to clean myself on my own!"

He heard the girls asking her if she was  _sure_  she didn't need bodyguards or whatever... Rose said something about her taser. Rey again made her point clear that she was fine alone. Ben perked up. She didn't know he was in there! It was his chance... even if he had to take it naked!

Ben waited to hear Rey turn on the water in her private stall, which was three down from his and even further away from the entrance. He kept his water running, slightly ashamed of wasting water, grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist. He poked his head out to make sure that no one else was around before he made his move. He quickly, but quietly, padded to Rey's stall and slipped inside. He stayed in the little changing area so he wouldn't completely infringe on her privacy, though he  _really_  wanted to see her naked again...

"Rey?" he whispered, hoping not to frighten her. "Can we talk?"

She pulled back the curtain just enough to peer around it. He hadn't frightened her. In fact, she wasn't really surprised that he'd appear here.

"Did you seriously follow me into a shower?!" she whispered back, thoroughly annoyed.

"No!" he still whispered but was affronted at the accusation. "I was in here first!"

She just stared at him with a ' _so what?_ ' expression on her face. "But here you are. In  _my_  stall!"

"Can we talk?" he repeated.

"Will you leave?" she questioned doubtfully.

"Of course."

"No. I mean the planet."

"I..." He was trying to think of a response quickly, but she pulled the curtain back into place and disappeared from view.

"Go away, Kylo," she ordered. Rey didn't sound angry or even annoyed, just tired.

"Please," he begged.

There was a moment of silence, besides the running water, before she answered him. "Not here. I'll let  _you_  talk, but I don't really have anything to say. And don't expect me to... Don't expect anything from me," she finally found the words.

"Ok," Ben eagerly agreed. "Where? When? Can it be soon?" He bombarded her with questions.

Rey just wanted to get it over with. "When I'm finished... When you're finished... In here. We can get dressed and go sit outside. I know we need privacy, but I don't want to be completely alone with you," she admitted.

This fact broke his heart a little bit, but he knew it was his own fault. "I know you're afraid of me for some reason, but I promise that you're safe with me."

"Still. We'll meet outside," she replied through the curtain.

"Anything you want," he stated, trying to please her. He then returned to his shower to finish up, though he listened for her the whole time, paranoid she'd run again.

When Rey stepped out of her stall, still a little damp but fully clothed, she found Kylo leaning against the wall waiting for her, also a little damp but fully clothed. She led the way out to a grassy area with a few large rocks that could be used as seats. Rey decided to spread her towel over one to dry and took a seat on the grass. Kylo followed her lead with his own towel and joined her on the grass. He sat cross-legged in front of her and didn't know how to start this conversation.

"Alright,  _Kylo_ , you wanted to talk... So talk," she told him impatiently.

"First, stop calling me that. I'm never going by that name again."

"Fine. Supreme Leader," she amended.

"Ben is fine," he offered. Rey crossed her arms at just looked at him expectantly, silently urging him to begin. He sighed. _Where to start_... "Why are you suddenly afraid of me?" This seemed as good a topic as any other to begin with. "You've  _never_  been afraid of me, even when you should have been! Why now?"

"I said you could talk, not that I would," Rey deflected. Ben could tell she just didn't want to answer the question. It would cause her to open herself back up to him, and she was  _not_  willing to do that!

"I do need  _some_  answers of my own," he told her, though it sounded like pleading. "I won't ask much of you, but this I have to know. Why did you think I wanted to kill you? No matter what we've fought about, I've  _never_  wanted you dead. What would make you think such a thing?!"

Rey knew that he must have spoken with Dr. Vormir. She now wondered what else that doctor had told him. She shrugged as she finally answered, "You  _left_  me with a threat - to decide 'what to do with me' since I 'wasn't worth it anymore.' What else was I suppose to think?"

"I'm sorry that I ever said those words. I was trying to hurt your feelings-"

"Well, it worked," she muttered, interrupting him.

"-but I never would have hurt  _you_!" he continued on. "I'm also sorry that I didn't make it clear enough that I'm completely, if sometimes foolishly, in love with you and nothing will  _ever_  change that."

Rey let out a bitter laugh. He was not expecting  _that_  to be her reaction to his declaration of love.

"You are ridiculous! And confusing- you even confuse  _yourself_! And infuriating!  _Love_? You can't possibly  _love_  me! The way you treated me! Then again, you apparently  _loved_  your father and we all know what happened  _there_!"

Ben could not only hear but could feel Rey's anger mounting. He needed to calm her down. The last thing he wanted, now that he finally had alone time with her, was for her to walk away.

"Alright, let's keep this about us," he said softly.

This didn't really help lessen her anger, but she turned the conversion back to where it needed to go. " _Us_?!" The bitter laugh was back. "That's right, you want to talk of  _us_! Well, let's talk about  _you_  first. You and your truly pathetic idea of  _love_." Ben's eyes widened at her cruel words, but he didn't dare interrupt. "I don't understand how you can sit here and  _claim_  to love me when you already have someone else!" Now confusion swept over his face. "I  _saw_  you! Kissing her... Or was she not worth it either?!"

Ben felt like his heart was beating a billion beats per minute.  _She saw that?! Super kriffing fuck!_  This was a turn of events that he had not expected. Now he had  _this_  to try to explain! He really hated his cock right now... It seemed to mainly get him in trouble!

"You'll forgive me if I think you're full of  _bantha shit_  when you say you  _love_  me. If you truly loved me, you wouldn't have been kissing someone else! That's when I knew you'd want to rid yourself of me. You've always reminded me, when you were angry with me, that we're enemies. I couldn't be left to stand in your way! For power. For a new relationship. Why  _wouldn't_  you kill me?! After all, I'm nothing."

"You're not." He shook his head and was dying to touch her but didn't. "You  _know_  you're not. Why omit when I said 'but not to me'?! I loved you. I  _do_  love you! I'm so sorry about, well,  _everything_. Every little thing that I've done to wrong you. I know that there's no way for me to explain things to magically make everything between us... to make you understand why I did those things. I can only own my mistakes and hope you'll forgive me-"

"Don't hold your breath on  _that_... Or, maybe do..." she said quietly, interrupting him once again.

He sighed, "I deserve that." Ben paused to think of the best way to continue. He chose honesty. "I'm selfish and vain, though I never really knew I was vain until this whole situation. I only clung onto the companionship of...  _her_ ," Rey didn't need to know Nadia's name, "for my own self-esteem. I felt that I was  _never_  good enough for you. I had to chase  _you_ , try to be perfect for you, work so hard to be  _good_  for you. She, well, I didn't have to do any of that to get her attention. It made me feel better, that someone could seem to like me without me even trying!"

"You didn't try  _that_  hard for me," Rey pointed out. "You were condescending and stubborn and refusing to turn away from Snoke when I fell in love with you. I loved you because you listened. You stopped listening, and we fell apart."

"That's true," he conceded. "I didn't listen to you. I should have. I should have trusted you, but I let my jealousy cloud my judgement."

Rey nodded in agreement but stayed silent to let him continue.

"You need to know, not that it makes what I did ok, but she didn't mean what  _you_  mean to me. I felt no love for her. I liked her fine, but I mainly liked the way she made me feel. But, she only said what she knew I wanted to hear because she wanted to use me for my power. In the end, she found me monstrous as well."

Rey didn't really want to know, but she needed to at the same time. "Did you have sex with her?"

"No." His response was quick and sincere. Though, he needed to tell her the truth if they were ever going to rebuild their relationship. "She did... put her mouth on me..." He tried to explain what had happened without being blatant about it. He should have known, however, that Rey wouldn't have understood. Limited experience and all...

"I know..." Rey said slowly. "I saw the kissing."

"I mean..." and he indicated the area between his legs.

Rey wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Well, good. Because _I'd never_  do that!"

"Just know that when that happened I was still angry and didn't think we'd be able to fix us-"

"Because  _you_  weren't willing to try!" she hissed. "How would you feel if I did the same thing with another man? Would  _you_  forgive me?" Rey decided to challenge him.

"No," he said quickly, then he thought about it. "Yes... but not easily. But you're more forgiving than I am," he stated. She understood that he said this as fact and not as a means to seek forgiveness via flattery. She appreciated it.

"I do understand that this time is different than our other... disagreements. So much more has happened. I don't expect you to just forget everything and be mine again, or for me to be yours, but I'm hoping you'll consider it." Ben scooted forward, and this time he did touch her by taking her hands in his. "I spoke to the doctor, and she explained about the miscarriage.  _That's_  what I regret the most. That I wasn't there for you."

Rey shrugged. "You didn't want children anyway," she said nonchalantly. Unbeknownst to him, she was testing the waters before she could even think of telling him  _her_  secret. Well,  _their_  secret.

"I find that I  _would_  want children... with  _you_ ," Ben told her boldly.

Rey considered this before continuing the conversation but veering it in another direction. "You've always been right about me. My desperation to belong, have a family, that I keep clinging to everyone who showed the smallest amount of interest in me. Anyone who gave me an ounce of their time.  _You_  gave me more than that so I fell hard. I should have slowed down, looked before I leaped and all that. You're all wrong for me. You keep trying to snuff out my light, and I don't know if I can forgive you. Not only for finding comfort in someone else, but you didn't think I-  _we_  were worth  _trying_  for. You left. Just like my parents. I need someone to stay,  _especially_  when it gets hard."

"It was a mistake. I'm never going to leave you alone... Ok, that came out creepier than I intended... You know what I mean. I want to  _earn_  your trust back. I won't fail you again," Ben promised. "Just don't give up on us."

"I... I just don't know, Ben. I can say that I still love you, but things will never be the same."

"That's a good start," he smiled gently. She hated it because his smile, rare as it was, had the power to melt her icy exterior a bit. "I don't want to go back to the same. I want us to grow stronger. That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?"

"Right," she nodded weakly.

"It's going to take  _us_  to create balance in this galaxy. I'd prefer to do it together. As in, back together. In a relationship-"

"I get what you mean."

"Ok. Good," he smiled again, nervously this time. "But, if you decide you don't want me, I won't go back to Kylo Ren. I'll continue to seek your assistance to do what needs to be done to make that better galaxy that only you can see." This was a promise.

A better galaxy? Yes. For their child.  _This_  is what she wanted. Her mind drifted from his words to try to find  _her own_  words to tell him that she was still actually pregnant with their remaining child. She yearned to tell him but didn't want to at the same time.

"There you are!" Rose's voice broke through their temporary silence.

Ben rolled his eyes and muttered something that Rey couldn't quite make out. "Rose, is it? Could you give us just a  _few_  extra minutes of privacy? Thanks." Ben sounded, well, like an arrogant asshole, but Rey was thankful he didn't seem angry.

"Absolutely not!" Rose summoned all of her courage. "You've already had more time with Rey than we're willing to give," she snapped.

"It's ok..." Rey began.

"No. It's not! We said we'd keep you  _safe_."

"She  _is_  safe with me!" Now Ben  _was_  angry.

Rey leaned forward and put her hands on Ben's knees.  _Physical touch should keep him calm!_  she thought. "Alright, just everyone calm down. Rose, I agreed to speak with him. Ky- Ben, Rose just cares about me. Like you do. But, we've said everything that needs to be said for right now. There's a lot for both of us to process. Separately."

"Can you forgive me?" he ventured.

"Maybe," she admitted. "But that doesn't mean that I want you... back."

Rey got to her feet, looking down at him. She couldn't help but to touch his hair before she turned to follow Rose. Ben got up to follow her. He just felt pulled to her. Even if they didn't talk, he just wanted to be near her.

"Hey," Poe stopped Ben with a hand on his forearm. He released it just as quickly when Ben turned to him. "You know she deserves better that you, right?"

Ben knew that Poe wasn't jealous or meaning to be a complete asshole, he just cared about Rey. He tailored his response to the bare minimum of what he needed to say, excluding what he  _really_  wanted to say... and do. "I  _am_  what she deserves. Neither of us would be truly happy without the other."

Poe nodded. "You're probably right. However, for now, she needs time. Apart from you. And, to be honest, you don't need to come off as overbearing."

Ben just stared at Poe. "Why are you..." _Being nice? Talking to me?_  "...here? With me? It will ruin your image."

Poe shrugged. "Nothing will ruin my image." He smiled. "I just want what you want. Rey to be happy... And peace in the galaxy. Which hinges on Rey being happy, don't you think?"

Ben nodded. He did think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, after Thanksgiving tv binge watching... It's a good mix of Harry Potter, Marvel, and OT Star Wars. There are a lot of orphaned heroes out there! Currently watching the mess that is Leia and Han attempting to flirt... I've said it once, and I'll say it again, poor Ben Solo really didn't stand a chance in the "chill" department! There is no chill to be found on either side! Dammit, Padmé... why were all of your genes recessive?!
> 
> Soapbox: After watching all of these things, it irks me even more when I see people calling Rey a Mary Sue. Hello?! Luke Skywalker and Harry Potter are probably the biggest Mary Sues to ever Mary Sue! But, of course, they're dudes so they don't get called Mary Sue. I love them all, but ggrrrr!


	25. Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that I'm American. Pants are not underwear. My husband is English, however, and this is a constant battle in our home. This is my story, so I write American-like! :-)
> 
> I will be traveling to England next week to spend Christmas with the hubby's fam. I plan to update while I'm there, but just in case England doesn't have Wi-Fi (it does, I know it does) or something that prevents me from updating, just know that I'm not abandoning you like Rey's parents. I've just left my country for a bit!

* * *

_Rey didn't have to turn around to know that Ben was in her room. She wasn't even concerned that she was wearing a practically see-through nightgown. When she did turn to face him, he was eyeing her hungrily. She missed him. She missed this. This power she seemed to have over him._

_Ben, who never seemed to be self-conscious about his appearance, was dressed in only a pair of soft grey sleep pants. He wasted no time in closing the distance between them. He pulled her to him, crushing his lips to hers. She didn't put up a fight. She wanted this. She wanted him._

_Rey gripped his arms and began walking backwards to her bed, pulling him along with her. He broke their kiss to push her down onto the bed._

_"What do you want from me?" he asked._

_"Isn't it obvious?" She answered his question with one of her own._

_Ben smirked. "If I'm going to apologize with my body, what do you want from me? I can make love to you. I can fuck you. I can give you an orgasm with just my mouth."_

_"All of that," Rey told him, excitement coursing through her body._

_Ben nodded and climbed on top of her to resume kissing her until she was out of breath. Suddenly, he was inside of her without her even realizing he had removed his pants. It felt amazing._

_She moaned loudly, not caring of anyone heard them. "I love you," she whispered._

_"I know," he replied._

Rey groaned and buried her head under her pillow. She didn't know if, at the moment, she preferred him killing her or fucking her in her dreams. Normally, she'd definitely appreciate a good sex dream, but now all she wanted to do was have sex with  _him_. That was not an option! Rey was a forgiving person, but she wasn't  _that_  forgiving! She didn't want to play games with him, but she  _did_  want him to suffer... at least a little bit. More importantly, she didn't know if she wanted Ben back in her life beyond what they needed to do to remove the remnants of those loyal to Snoke and his ways of governing. Sex would definitely complicate things, and it would most likely end with her immediately taking him back. She decided to blame her pregnancy hormones for making her so damn turned on just thinking about him without a shirt on!

She needed to stay strong. She desperately missed him, missed  _them_. The way he patiently continued to teach her how to read, how they'd make each other laugh over something completely ridiculous, him playing with her hair,  _her_  playing with  _his_  hair... the little things that wouldn't mean anything to anybody else. But those small comforts, little daily declarations of love through their actions, meant everything to her. That sense of belonging.

Rey rolled out of bed and pulled her clothes on. She had been transitioning into darker clothing, opting for shades of grey, green, brown, and dark blue. She had heard that darker colors had a slimming effect. She didn't want anyone to question the sudden change in her clothing choices when she started showing, so she thought she'd start with the wardrobe changes while her stomach was still flat. Well, mostly flat. Her pants had started to get a teeny bit more snug in the waistline.

She really had no symptoms of being pregnant besides the tighter clothing. Maybe her boobs were a little bit fuller as well, but both of these things could be explained away by her having access to food whenever she wanted it. The only change that she definitely had to make in her usual habits was getting food in her within a certain amount of time after waking up. She could no longer skip a meal, especially not breakfast. She had learned that not eating was the only thing that made her feel sick to her stomach, and she had only thrown up once due to this fact.

Thankfully, the dining hall was mostly empty when she arrived. Based on the other people enjoying their breakfast, she could tell that she was one of the first ten people in the room. Rey was happy that she had her choice of several options and not just what was leftover after the breakfast rush.

"Hey," Conni whispered as she plopped down next to Rey.

"Hi..." Rey replied with food in her mouth.

"How's it going? You doing ok?" Conni continued to whisper and glance around the room.

"Why are you whispering and being all shifty? Are you avoiding Poe?" Rey asked, also glancing around the room.

"Am I... what?! No." Now Conni sounded confused.

"What  _are_  you doing?"

"Well..." Conni scooted closer to Rey and made one last glance around the room. " _He_  could be lurking."

"Lurking?" Rey repeated while successfully holding in her laughter. "Ben doesn't really lurk. He does the opposite of lurk, actually... He kind of  _storms_  around."

Conni nodded, but Rey could tell that she was still unsure. "He can't, like, just appear right?"

Rey smiled into her cup of caf before responding. "Oh, yeah. He can definitely do that! That  _is_  one thing we will have to watch out for... He could just appear in that chair right next to you."

Conni's eyes grew wide. "Rey! Isn't this something we should have been warned about? Or, at least, you should tell Poe!"

"I. Am. Joking. The only time he can just magically appear is during one of our force bond sessions, which don't seem to happen anymore. And no one else would be able to see him, and he couldn't see anyone besides me," she explained.

"So, no lurking. No magical appearances.  _Is_  there something that we should know about?"

"He has really nice handwriting," Rey said seriously. Her joking smirk gave her away, however, as Conni playfully slapped her arm.

By this point in the morning more and more of their fellow inhabitants were filing into the dining hall, Rose and Finn among them. They took their seats at the table, oblivious to the conversation going on.

"Are you hitting Rey because she agreed to talk to... you know who?" Finn asked. "Because I kind of want to smack some sense into her!"

"Love you, too, Finn!" Rey said sarcastically and threw a bit of bread at him. "And stop calling him things like that. Just  _say_  Kylo or Ben! It's  _more_  weird to not use one of his several names."

Conni nodded. "It is. Makes him seem  _more_  ominous..."

"Who?" a newly familiar voice sounded from behind Conni.

She shot Rose, who was sitting across from her, a look that communicated:  _why the hell didn't you say that Sven was behind me?!_

"Hi!" Rey greeted the newcomer brightly, mainly to deflect from their current topic of discussion.

"Can I sit with you guys? Seems I'm the first one of my tribe up and about this morning."

"Uh... Sure! Sure sure sure. Have. A. Seat!" Rey kept with the bright and cheery act, while three sets of eyes shot daggers at her. She knew this, so she avoided these gazes.

"Ah, thanks!" Sven sat on the other side of Rey. "It's weird to sit alone, or it is for me, at least. I'm more of a people person. Mmm, this is good bread! Fruity!"

They were all staring at Sven now. This huge, beautiful, darksider man just enjoying some bread. Like a child. Rey glanced around and noticed that they weren't the only ones giving Sven their attention... Several ladies, and a few men, were also checking Sven out, but in a completely different way. Rey really couldn't blame them. He wasn't her type, but she could appreciate that Sven was probably the most handsome, and downright sexy, man that any of them had ever seen.

"So, do you guys do anything for fun? Like dancing? Drinking? And the such... I haven't really had  _fun_  in a while, so I thought I might try it out," Sven comfortably initiated small talk.

"Um, no. We're not really into having fun either... You know, fighting the  _First Order_  and all..." Rose replied, completely befuddled as to why this social, seemingly nice guy could ever be part of the First Order.

"We  _do_  sometimes drink and dance, though," Conni corrected Rose's statement, giving Sven a friendly smile. "We haven't really done that much fighting for a while." Sven's charms obviously worked on Conni.

"Since Crait," Finn reminded them with a hint of bitterness in his voice, "when the new Supreme Leader tried to destroy us and  _failed_."

Sven just nodded while shoving more bread in his mouth. He was wise enough to let Finn get out his aggravation without interruption or trying to defend his Master and friend. "So... drinking? I could really go for some Corellian whisky... or wine. Either one, really."

"You know this is the beginning of the day, right? Most people don't start drinking until the evening... " Rose pointed out.

"Yeah...but we're not really doing anything, are we?" Sven replied, mischievously.

" _We_  have work to do, Sven," Rey told him kindly. "We're repairing a bunch of old ships, trying to get them ready in case we have to fight, well,  _Hux_ , at this point."

"Ok," Sven agreed, "I'll help with that." Rey wasn't really asking him to, but she wasn't going to turn down help either. Especially strong-man-who-also-can-use-the-force (who wasn't Ben) help!

"Great!" she said genuinely, while the glares of her friends returned.

* * *

Ben wasn't sure why Sven was taking him and Pogba back to the hangar, but they had nothing else to do at the moment so he thought he'd humor his friend and follow along. Once inside the hangar, however, he knew exactly what Sven was up to: trying to get him and Rey back together.

He spotted Rey immediately. She was on a ladder cleaning the windows of a ship, while Finn and a man he had never seen before were hosing down the underside. Poe was marching around giving orders, well...politely suggesting what should be done. Rose and Conni seemed to be useless, as they were just sat at a table 'cleaning' scraps.

"Why are we here?" Pogba asked skeptically before Ben could.

"I said I'd help. You two aren't doing anything, so you can help too," he gave them a triumphant smile.

"Look, even I appreciate that you're trying to help Ben get some because he's been a miserable-"

"I'm  _right_  here..." Ben interrupted Pogba, thoroughly annoyed.

"See?! This is the point! Let's start those baby steps to win your girl back!" Sven was still  _way_  too optimistic.

"They're not going to want our help," Pogba finally got his point across. "Especially not  _his_  help." Pogba nodded at Ben.

"Too bad. We will force our help upon them. They will appreciate it in the end," Sven refused to back down, still smiling too much in their opinion.

Ben sighed, resigned to Sven's scheme, and followed Sven further into the hangar. Pogba followed like a good knight.

"Watch the hoses, guys!" Poe instructed. "Let's have minimal goofing around this time, shall we?" Finn and the stranger mumbled their agreement.

"Yeah!" Rey spoke up. "I'm the one getting all wet up here!"

"Just your pants..." The stranger tried to defend their actions but trailed off due to how  _wrong_  his statement seemed, especially with a firm look from Finn. "That came out wrong," he told him.

Finn turned his hose on the man and sprayed him in the face. Ben saw it happening before it actually happened, which caused him to race towards Rey. The man stumbled back into Rey's ladder, Rey was knocked off balance, rolled her ankle, and fell off the ladder. Ben was there to catch her. For a second, Rey tightened her grip on him and pressed her forehead into his chest.

"Rey! Are you ok?!" Poe appeared at their side, taking Ben's line.

Finn and Anders, finding out the man's name now that Ben heard Poe berating them, just stood in ashamed shock. Finn was truly horrified that his actions had almost seriously hurt his friend, and Anders thought that any of these three men- Ben, Poe, or Finn- were going to kill him.

"I'm fine. I just need a break," Rey assured everyone. Then she addressed Ben, "you can put me down now." He noticed that she said this gently, with no hints of anger or annoyance towards him touching her.

Although putting her down was the last thing he wanted to do, Ben complied with her wishes and gently placed her on her feet. "Maybe, for now, you can find something to do on the ground," he suggested.

Poe nodded in agreement, "that's exactly what I had in mind. Stick to the ground, Rey. And, take that break."

"Maybe you can show us something we could do for you," Ben gestured to his knights, continuing to lightly press his luck with Rey's patience.

Poe again agreed to this plan, so Rey reluctantly showed the newcomers something to do. Once she felt that they had fully understood what she was asking of them, she hobbled over to a chair and table of to the side of the space to rest her rolled ankle. Sven nudged Ben when no one was looking and whispered something about him being her hero. Ben rolled his eyes but couldn't help a smirk.

Rey got restless, and though she new she should stay off her feet, she decided to take a leisurely stroll around the hangar. She didn't like feeling useless, so she acted as if she was helping Poe survey everyone's work. She paused, however, when she heard her name whispered.

"...is a nobody. Yeah, she has power, but  _he's_  the Supreme Leader and is even more powerful. Besides, as Leia's son he's practically a prince!" A female voice explained.

"Yeah, but she's literally a Rey of Light and he's, well, he's done a lot of bad things. He doesn't deserve her," a male voice countered.

Apparently these people were disagreeing on hers and Ben's love life. She was going to make it known that she overheard them when a second female voice chimed in.

" _He_  doesn't deserve  _her_?! Honey, you have that backward. He's the one with power, money, connections, resources. Plus, he's fairly attractive. That body...damn! She's, well, she doesn't have anything to offer that he doesn't already have."

"You may have a point there, but the girl has heart and works hard. Can't really beat that!" The male continued his side of the debate.

"I do feel sorry for her- it's sad that he threw her away like the trash she is!" the first female laughed while the second joined in.

"You're wrong, though. She left him because even  _she_  knew that she wasn't good enough!"

"You two are just jealous that everyone- and everyone who's important- likes Rey," the man continued to defend her.

"Of course everyone- well, all you  _men_  like her. Opening her legs is how she brought down Supreme Leader Ren..."

"How  _dare_  you!" Rey shouted- she couldn't hold back anymore. The three stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at her, shocked. "You don't know  _anything_  about me!"

Rey's outburst was drawing unwanted attention for all involved in this argument. She glanced around and noticed that almost everyone was staring, including Ben, and she spotted Poe heading their way. She didn't feel like talking about what she had overheard, so she began backing away from the conversation. She turned and quickly walked, well, hobble-walked out of the hangar.

Poe glared at the three, as far as he knew, troublemakers on his way to catch up with Rey. He sped up to a jog to easily put himself next to her as she kept walking.

"What happened in there?" he inquired.

"I don't want to talk about it," she replied shortly.

He gently took her by the arm to stop her movement. She turned to face him, crossing her arms. She huffed but gave in to his unspoken plea for the truth. "Those girls were saying mean things about me. Not that any of it was untrue..." she muttered.

"I'm sure it  _was_  untrue, if it was mean and about you. There's nothing that anyone could fault you for... except for maybe your taste in men!" Poe smiled and nudged her with his elbow. "Speaking of, I can send...  _Ben_... to glare at them if you'd like!"

Rey could tell that it was difficult for Poe to call Ben by his real name, but she truly appreciated the effort. "As appealing as that sounds, and trust me I would love to do that, I think it would cause  _more_  trouble in the long run."

"Well, since that disruption drew almost everyone's attention, they may get a free glare off of him anyway!"

"Rey? Is everything ok?" Ben, of course, had to follow her out as well.

Poe looked from Rey to Ben and back to Rey. "Well. I, uh, think I need to go give some people a talking to..." And he hurried off before Rey could beg him to stay. She was certain that he had sold his soul to Leia and had agreed to help push her back together with Ben.

Ben still stood patiently waiting for an answer, though he had taken a few steps closer as Poe left.

"Nothing serious," she told him. "Just some mean words from some, apparently, jealous people."

"What did they say?" he pressed further for answers.

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me. It has upset you."

" _You've_  upset me plenty of times. This is something I can handle."

"But  _I'm_  sorry. I doubt they are. They'll pretend to be, of course, because Poe will make them play nice."

Rey exhaled out of her nose in frustration. "I'm tired of people basically calling me a slut. I'm very much the opposite. "

"I know..." he said with a wink.

Rey rolled her eyes. "And everyone thinks, or rather,  _knows_  I'm a nothing piece of trash scavenger. They're more willing to forgive  _you_  than to accept me! I guess that's the perks of having Leia as a mother!"

"It is," he agreed. "But none of those people, except your actual friends, matter. What they say, what they think, what they do- it doesn't matter. The people who  _love_  you matter. Focus on us," he said, taking her hand. Ben gazed into her eyes lovingly as he added, "and I'll follow Poe's talk up with a stern look." He broke into a devious smirk.

"Oh, no! We're still working on your image.  _You_  can be redeemed into the handsome returned prodigal son to our illustrious leader. Turn on that Solo charm and everyone will be awaiting  _your_  orders by the end of the week!" she teased him. "I, however, will be doomed to be gossiped about for the rest of my days. It's one of the pains of being female. Take us, for example... I get called a slut, and people actually feel sorry for you because you lowered yourself to be with me."

"I'd happily lower myself to be with you every day," he said pulling her into a hug.

"Wow. We really need to work on that Solo charm. It's going to definitely take longer than I thought..." She smiled and stepped backwards out of the quick hug. "This doesn't mean all is forgiven and everything is fixed between us," she added to make their situation clear. Rey had allowed conversation and had been nice-  _nicer_  - to him, but she didn't want him to think he was off the hook!

"I know, but I  _am_  asking you for a fair chance to earn your forgiveness and get back to us being together...like we're meant to be."

Rey nodded. "Ok. I'll give you a chance," she agreed.

Quite suddenly, Rey gave into her hormones and grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him down into a fierce kiss. He acted on instinct, and pure joy over this interaction, and wrapped his arms around her.

Rey broke their mini makeout session to breathe and to utter "I hate you less" against his lips. After another breath she added, "but I love you for keeping your promise."

Before he could reply, her lips were back on his. They continued their passionate kissing for several minutes, Ben felt like it was hours. Rey pulled away again, poked him in the chest with her sharp finger, and said, "This never happened," before marching away in the direction of her room. He was left to ponder what  _did_  just happen?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm basing Rey's pregnancy on my own, since that's what I have experience with! My fellow pregnant friends, there were two, hated me. I really didn't show until about 19 weeks, and even then I looked like I had just eaten a big meal. Week 27 was when I actually looked pregnant. I never had "morning sickness," exactly. I had the food issue. I needed to eat or I'd feel sick. My only food aversion was mushrooms. The only change in more was that I became more emotional- I cried at a commercial because it had a cute puppy in it... I was still teaching Boot Camp and Spin classes up to my due date. Well, past it actually, since little dude was 10 days late and had to be evicted. ;-)


	26. Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaack! I joked about not having internet in England, but the in-laws had just switched their provider- we didn't have internet for a week! Ah, first world problems...
> 
> Go, go, go, go go, go, go, shawty  
> It's your birthday  
> We gon' party like it's yo birthday  
> We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday  
> ("In Da Club" 50 Cent)

* * *

Ben groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands. It had been two days since Rey had kissed him, clearly having given into her more primal urges. Unfortunately, she was back to her platonic friendly self immediately afterwards. At least she wasn't completely ignoring him! They had talked... never about anything important, and never alone.

Though, Ben was groaning for a different reason on this particular morning. Today was the day he had been dreading, especially if he were to be still stuck on Carcaso with his mother. He was, still stuck that is, so he wanted to hide in his room all day. Like a teenager. And  _that_  was just it- he was far from being a teenager anymore. He was thirty. Today was his birthday.

He hoped an early arrival for breakfast would mean that he would be able to avoid everyone he knew. He had memorized Rey's (and company) staple daily schedule- mealtimes, work times, breaks, nightly social activities... None of them would be up this early.

Ben was the first one to arrive for breakfast, besides those making the breakfast of course; however, the Dream Team (he hated that nickname, for only Rey was a dream!) filed in not long after he had started eating. He wasn't too worried, as they never sat with him. Now he just had to finish eating before Sven or his mother came to embarrass him. Pogba, he knew, would  _never_  do anything to bring unwanted attention.

It's like she knew. Not that it was his birthday- she's the one who had squeezed him out into the world, after all- but that he'd be here this early. He saw Leia enter with a soft smile on her face, eyes scanning the room. Ben slunk down in his seat and covered his face with a large hand, even though he knew his efforts were futile. He was a huge, pale, raven-haired man. He kind of stood out. Especially here. Especially to his force sensitive mother.

"Ben," Leia called when she spotted him and made her way in his direction.

He removed the hand that was covering his face to nervously glance around to see if she had caught the attention of the room. Of  _course_  she had! The Dream Team had looked up and followed her with their eyes with great curiosity. Poe and Finn whispered to each other, and when his eyes found Rey, she was looking at him. She offered a small smile and a nod before returning to her meal.

Leia took the empty seat next to him and tried to resist the urge to move a stray hair of his back in place. She failed, fingers lingering a bit too long. He huffed his annoyance.

"Thirty years," she whispered. "I can hardly believe it. Time moves so quickly! How do you feel? Any older?" she asked with a wink.

"No different than yesterday. Or the day before that," he answered with a hint of annoyance from the hair incident in his tone. He was thankful, however, that she was kind enough to whisper their conversation. Maybe he would get away with hiding his birthday from the others.

"Ben!" Sven's booming voice sounded through the room.

_Oh no._

"Happy birthday, old balls!" Sven laughed and slapped him on the back- hard! He then took the free seat on the other side of Ben.

_No no no no!_

"Thirty is no joke! I, of course, am still merely in my youthful 20s."

"You're  _twenty days_  younger than I am..." Ben pointed out, rising to Sven's attempt to get him out of his grumpy mood.

"Yes...but as kids  _you_  would tease  _me_  that you were older than I was! Oh, how the tables have turned. I will enjoy these twenty days, old man."

Leia smiled, enjoying Ben and Sven's banter. She could almost imagine that they were a whole family again. Almost.

"What do you want to do?" Sven asked as he took some of Ben's food that he obviously wasn't going to eat. "Let's go to town! Let's going drinking!" He suggested excitedly before Ben could even reply.

"Now?" Ben asked skeptically, almost thinking the answer would be 'no.'

"Day drinking!"

"Absolutely not."

"Come on! Loosen up for one day," Sven pleaded. "We'll go to town, day drink, and you'll be sober...ish by dinner," he smiled triumphantly at his plan.

Ben thought about it for all of two seconds. "No."

"It would be good for you to get out a bit, Ben," Leia began to assist Sven on trying to get her son to celebrate his birthday.

"Ok, let me repeat to you both this truly idiotic plan of Sven's, and then you can tell me if it still sounds like a good idea. You want  _me_ , the Supreme Leader- the probably much  _hated_  Supreme Leader, to go into a town full of strangers, who, again, most likely hate me, and proceed to drink the day away, most likely getting drunk around these people who hate me, and then maybe accidentally kill those people. Yeah, we've got a winner of a day planned..."

"Just leave the lightsaber here," Sven suggested with a smile. "And maybe you can wear a hat."

"A hat?" Ben asked blandly.

"Yeah, as a disguise."

"I don't think a hat would be a very good disguise..."

"Out of the kindness of my heart, I'll happily cut your hair! That would really change your look!" Sven smiled like he had solved the galaxy's greatest problem.

"Don't you  _dare_  cut his hair!" Leia exclaimed in mild horror, protectively placing a hand on Ben's head, which earned a glare from Ben to Sven.

"I second that," Rey spoke up, joining the table. She kept her eyes on Ben and asked, "it's your birthday? Why didn't you say anything?"

"Why would I? No one really cares," he shrugged, "least of all  _me_! It's just another day. I'm just another year older."

"Actually, you really  _should_  celebrate... I mean, no one thought you'd live this long!" She teased him.

"Thwarted all of  _your_  efforts..." He muttered, smirking.

" _And_ , most importantly, you're our  _esteemed_  Supreme Leader. The galaxy should be celebrating this wondrous occasion! Shall you require a parade?" Rey continued her teasing.

"Maybe Hux could give one of his lovely speeches!" Sven joined in on teasing him.

"Maybe fireworks?" Leia suggested. No one could tell if she was teasing or not. Ben certainly hoped so!

"Back to reality... I am completely sure that I want  _none_  of that. Furthermore, I'd prefer to just hide away and be ignored as I have every other year," Ben informed them.

"Nope. That is not an option this year," Sven told him. "We are finally free from Snoke's power over us. We are allowed to have a teeny tiny little bit of fun. For  _your_  birthday. I will not back down. Do not force me to throw you a party wherein I force everyone in this civilization to be there."

Ben, Leia, and Rey just looked at him in varying degrees of surprise, and a touch of annoyance on Ben's part.

"Or... we can go to town, just the two of us- I mean, Pogba can come if he wants but I don't see him wanting to-"

" _I_  don't want to..." Ben interrupted.

"-and get drunk!" Sven continued without minding what Ben said.

"Or... just stay here. There are several empty rooms or there are nice places outside. Poe can show you," Rey suggested. Then added, "You didn't hear this from me, especially you, Leia, but Poe is also the keeper of spirits. Wines, whiskeys, anything you could want, Poe has it or can get it!"

"That's a good idea," Leia nodded. "Plus, it would be nice for you  _all_  to become friendly with each other. Poe  _will_  be your main ally here."

" _Rey_  is my main ally here, so I don't think that I'll need to spend anymore time than necessary with Dameron," Ben argued, carefully keeping his eyes on his mother.

"I will!" Sven, of course, volunteered.

"You just want free alcohol," Ben explained Sven's noble cause for what it really was.

"True... _but_  he seems like a solid guy. I wouldn't mind expanding my group of acquaintances." He smiled triumphantly.

"Ben, please just spend some time with my friends," Rey asked seriously. "Part of our... _issue_  is your jealousy regarding the  _other_  people I love. Maybe if you get to know them, you'll see why they're my family."

Ben felt all eyes of their little foursome on him. He sighed deeply, dragging it out as long as possible. "Fine," he conceded.

The other three didn't wait for him to say anything else before looking positively gleeful and chattering over each other, to each other, and to Ben. Leia summoned Poe, who donned the expression of a schoolboy in trouble. They (all except Ben) relayed all information that Poe needed to help celebrate Ben's birthday. Poe looked about as happy as Ben did, but he was relieved that he wasn't in trouble, which made Leia wonder what he had done...

Soon Poe recruited ( _required,_  to be be truly honest) Finn and Snap to join in preparations. Finn glared at Rey, who in turn happily shrugged as a response. Leia insisted on being invited to the beginning of the little party and left in search of cake. Rey, Conni, and Rose were also required to be present as long as Leia was there. She made sure they knew that this was an order and not a request. Rey found it all amusing - nothing like forcing people who didn't really like, or know, each other to socialize. Sven, Rey, and Leia were the only three who were genuinely happy for this to happen.

* * *

"Oh, I'll just have water," Conni was telling Sven as he was going around getting drink orders for Poe to fill.

Rey was relieved that she wouldn't be the only one drinking water, but was surprised that Conni, the queen of day drinking when possible, had chosen water. Rey had used the excuse of needing to stay sober to make sure Ben stays in line. Ya know, in case she had to use the force or whatever on him. She felt that it was a good excuse, even if Sven did roll his eyes at her and Ben protested that he'd be just fine, thank you very much!

"You mentioned something about accidentally killing townsfolk earlier... I'm not risking my friends!" Rey informed Ben.

He rolled his eyes at her. "I wasn't going to kill anyone. I was just trying to get out of this whole thing. If you recall, I'm not really a social person."

"That's a bit of an understatement," Rey laughed.

"Exactly. I'm not trusting either, so allowing Sven to get me drunk with strangers is slightly terrifying."

"It will be fine," Rey patted his shoulder, "as long as you're not torture-probing their minds or slicing their backs up with your lightsaber, I think this will actually go ok."

"Well, I didn't bring my lightsaber, so that's half of the threat solved!" he smirked. "Though, I can kindly ask for  _you_  to not probe minds either."

" _I_  don't probe minds! Except yours...that  _one_  time!  _And_ , it was an accident.  _And_ , you deserved it!" She defended her actions.

"True..." He agreed with another smirk and took a drink of something much too sweet for his liking.

"So...thirty..." Rey began on a new tangent. "That's a full decade between us now!" She smiled widely, trying not to laugh. She could tell that Ben was mildly uncomfortable with their age difference, but she found it thoroughly amusing. She couldn't help but to tease him. "Me, a mere teenager. You, a thirty-year-old full grown man!"

Ben groaned. "Alright, just stop. I know you think me an  _old_  pervert at this point! But, I didn't  _know_  you were so young when I started having feelings for you. Besides, this age difference isn't out of the norm for me. My father was even older than my mother compared to us."

"Ah, so it must be that Solo blood that desires a younger woman," she laughed and winked at him, sipping on her fizzy water.

"Probably," he agreed. "The Skywalker bit would have had me with an older woman or alone."

Rey had the urge to comfort him again about not being alone, but found that she couldn't bring herself to be that nice to him quite yet.

"Please tell me that you hadn't  _just_  turned nineteen when we first met," Ben said, still trying to find some sort of peace with their age difference.

"No. I hadn't  _just_  turned nineteen when you chased me down and kidnapped me," Rey said teasingly, though she did want to remind him that they didn't just 'meet' in the normal way that other people who fall in love did. "I'll actually be twenty in exactly thirty days from today. So, ten years and thirty days is our exact age difference. Feel better about it now?"

"A bit."

"Rey," Conni interrupted their conversation with Rose in tow, "let the man mingle. Keeping him to yourself is not the point of this gathering. Besides, Poe is genuinely trying to be friendly. He and Sven are acting like they've forever friends."

"Ok, ok," Ben spoke up before Rey could, "I'll go be social with Dameron."

After Ben was our of earshot, Conni stole his seat and leaned in very close to Rey's ear to whisper, "I have a secret." Rose pulled up another chair to huddle closely.

"Does it have to do with why Poe looks shifty?" Rey asked. She was excited that someone else had a secret for a change!

Conni nodded. "You know how we thought you were pregnant?"

Rey looked uncomfortable but nodded. She wondered if they had figured her out...

"Well,  _I'm_  the one who is pregnant," Conni informed her.

Rose stared at Rey to gauge her reaction, which was shock. Rey was so hung up on her own issues that she completely missed the signs that her friend was having the same problem. However, Conni and Poe were at least in a loving relationship. The father of  _her_  child was...well, Ben. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, master of the Knights of Ren, darksider, enemy-but-maybe-not-so-much-anymore of the Resistance. So a tad more complicated! She felt a hint of jealousy creep into her mind, but she quickly pushed it away for it was a useless emotion.

"I guess this is what I get for teasing  _you_!" Conni continued in the absence of a vocal reaction from Rey. "Poe is excited, though. He's also nervous that Leia will find out and make us leave and go live like normal people in town."

"Maybe you should," Rose made her opinion known. "You have another life to think about now. If you all stay with the Resistance, either or both of you could be killed."

Rey could tell that Rose was passionate about this and had probably already been trying to convince Conni to tell Leia and move to town.

"I could move..." Conni began, "but I wouldn't want to take Poe away from this. It's his cause. It's all he's been working for. I also don't want him to feel like he has to choose because he doesn't."

Ignoring this part of the conversation because Rey really felt that it was up to Conni and Poe, she finally had voice to some of her thoughts, "how has it been? Have you felt sick? Or tired? Anything?"

Conni smiled, relieved that Rey wasn't going to join Rose's cause. "I've been sick a few times, always tired, and could probably eat all the cheese in existence!"

Rey wanted to say "me too!" but knew she couldn't. This could be an experience she could go through with a friend. She didn't have to go it alone. But, no. Hers had to remain a secret. Even though she thought her friends would be supportive, news of an heir to the Supreme Leader would get out, and Rey feared for her and her child's safety. She knew people (Hux specifically) would come for her to get to Ben. That was a whole new level of danger to bring down on the Resistance. Maybe she  _should_  leave. Go back to Ahch-To to raise her child in secret. Again, no. She couldn't do that. She never wanted to be lonely again now that she had a sort of family, and she wouldn't condemn her child to a lonely life either. It would also be wrong to keep the child's existence from Ben and Leia. It's just not something she could ever do in the long term. Keeping this secret for the present was difficult enough!

"Cheese sounds good," Rey settled on an appropriate reply. "Maybe we can find some for the purpose of this party."

"What's a party without snacks?!" Rose chimed in. "We need snacks!" She loudly told Poe, who was now the official-  _appointed_ \- party planner.

"Yeah, we need need to line those bellies with food so you all don't get too drunk too quickly or get sick!" Rey added.

Poe nodded, knowing the true reason, and sent Finn and Sven to gather snacks. Leia was making Pogba help her with cake placement, and Ben and Poe were making small talk. All in all, Rey's plan for peace was doing fairly well, thanks to Ben's impromptu birthday party.

* * *

A firm knock at Rey's door woke her from her evening nap. She rolled off the bed and answered the door with sleepy eyes.

"You need to come get your boy," a slightly inebriated Poe told her, leaning on the doorframe. "Ben is really drunk. Like, more than me drunk. Luckily, he's a slap-happy 'iluvyooou' drunk person. So, good luck with that. I need to go sober myself up, and I don't really want to deal with him, if I'm honest."

"Ok...is he still in the party room?" Rey asked, not sure whether to be amused or annoyed.

"Yep. He's in there all alone," Poe replied, he then looked perplexed. "Well, I hope he's still in there. That's where I left him, but he  _does_  have legs."

Rey didn't wait for any other stupid comments to come out of Poe's mouth, she marched off to retrieve Ben. She entered the room slowly and spotted him immediately. He was sat on a couch with a drink in one hand and eating a handful of cake.

"My Rey of sunshine!" he declared upon seeing her. "Come! Eat the cake! It is wonderful!"

Rey smiled, "Hello, Ben. Seems like you are enjoying that cake." There were crumbs and icing stuck to his face.

"It's almost as delicious as you are." He smiled back.

"I'm glad to see that your mood has improved," Rey told him and took a seat next to him.

"Yes, well, I took your advice to enjoy being alive. I'm sure I won't be for much longer," he informed her with a mouthful of cake. He brushed her cheek, leaving a small trail of icing behind. He leaned in to lick it off.

"I think you've defeated the fiercest of foes at this point. I'm sure you'll live for a while longer, yet!" She pushed him away gently and wiped the icing off of her own cheek.

"I'm talking about the hole in my heart left by you, my pretty pretty Rey!" He explained with a pout.

Rey fixed him with her best perturbed look and crossed her arms. "I believe you mean  _my_  heart, and the hole was caused by  _you_!"

"I apologized!" he defended himself.

"I will not argue with a drunk man, but I will not let you twist facts around to suit your needs." Rey also couldn't argue with a man who had bits of cake on his face. Anything she would say couldn't be taken seriously if she was holding in laughter.

"What must I do to get you to forgive me, to take me back?" Ben asked, the desperation clear in his voice.

As much as she didn't want to discuss this now, rehashing well trod ground, it was a rare time that they had alone. And, it seemed, he would not let the subject drop.

"I don't know," she told him honestly. "That is, I  _have_  forgiven you, but I don't know that we can be together again. I want to be clear that I have forgiven you for me and  _my_  need to move on, and not to ease  _your_  guilt."

"Well then, do the same to me. Find pleasure with another man," he, stupidly, suggested, obviously hoping she would do no such thing.

Rey scoffed. "I am not vindictive. Besides, there are several reasons why that mode of punishment for you would not be possible. I would not  _use_  another poor soul for my own  _selfish_  pleasure as you have. Furthermore, every man that I know is too  _terrified_  of you, and Poe for that matter, to even think of me in  _that_  way. And, most importantly, I love  _you_. That is what you fail to realize. I cannot wrap my head around what you did because I love you so much that doing something like that would  _never_  occur to me! The fact that you could do something like that lets me know that you  _cannot_  love me as you claim to, and I  _will_   _not_  settle for someone who does not  _truly_  love me. I  _need_  that above anything else. You know my insecurities, my parents never loved me. I  _will_  be loved completely or not at all."

"I  _do_  love you completely!" he continued to argue. "I have left the First Order, abandoned my ship, come to reconcile with my mother, and form a truce with the Resistance, all because of you. Not  _for_  you. Not simply because you want me to, but you have instilled morality back into my soul. I  _want_  to be good. I want to be good  _enough_  for you. I know I betrayed you, left you when you undoubtedly needed me most, but I never stopped loving you. I was afraid. Afraid to end up like my parents. Afraid to completely ruin you like I do  _everything_  else. I should stay away from you. I  _should_  encourage you to be free of me, but I  _am_  selfish and just can't do it. I need you, Rey, and I know that I can make you happy if you give me the chance to."

Rey had never wanted to kiss him and make everything go away more in her life! However, he was drunk, and this discussion didn't mean much since he wouldn't probably wouldn't remember it tomorrow.

"How about," Rey began calmly, "I help you to your room and we'll talk more once you're sober."

Ben nodded and allowed her to help him to his feet. They stumbled down his hallway, and he leaned against the wall, staring at her dreamily, as Rey pushed her way through his door. He followed her into the room closely. Ben flopped onto his bed, but he had grabbed her arm and pulled her down with him.

"Cuddle me," he insisted.

Rey bit back a chuckle. "Oh, I suppose..." she said and wrapped her arms around him.

It didn't take long for them to both drift off to a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Star Wars: The Next Generation... Poe and Ben's kids are gonna be besties! Ooohhh - or, maybe they'll get married! Jk... No one thinks that far... They're totally gonna get married. I mean, in my head. There's no way I'm writing that far into the future! Epilogue? :-D
> 
> Author's New Year therapy session:
> 
> Man, y'all... I just don't know how I'm going to, entertainment-wise, make it through 2019, as it will be here tomorrow! I'm excited and scared at the same damn time. Why did the gods (be they the old gods, the seven, Norse, or even just the force) choose 2019 to put an end to all of my favorite things?! The Sequel Trilogy is the least of my problems! I've only loved these (new) characters for 3 years... but Tony, Steve, Thor? Jon, Dany, Arya? That trailer for Avengers: Endgame has me feeling all pessimistic. I don't trust the Russo Bros. to spare my faves, and I don't trust JJ either! I'm not even going to mention the lack of trust in Game of Thrones... It'd be like trusting Hux- that's just silly! I swear, they better not hurt Drogon! #ImInAGlassCaseOfEmotion


	27. Reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Piece by piece I fell far from the tree  
> I will never leave her like you left me  
> And she will never have to wonder her worth  
> Because unlike you I'm going to put her first
> 
> ("Piece By Piece" Kelly Clarkson)
> 
> These are the song lyrics. I am in no way saying that the baby is a girl. Not saying it's a boy either. Maybe it's a unicorn...

* * *

There was a pounding in his head and a pounding at the door. Ben rolled over and almost fell out of his bed. He had momentarily forgotten that he had been relegated to the edge of his bed with a sprawled out Rey taking over the rest of it. The knocking made her stir but did not fully wake her.

He made his way to the door in the dark, and quickly opened it before another knock could come. Ben was determined to have Rey asleep in his bed for as long as possible.

"What?!" was his greeting upon finding Poe at his door.

Poe didn't answer straight away, he instead took a nervous sip from his cup of water. He peered around Ben into the dark room, the single light from outside filtering in to show Rey asleep in the bed. Now Poe felt even more awkward about this whole thing, but he'd currently rather face Kylo Ren than an unhappy and anxious Conni (and Rose) at the moment.

"Uh... I was sent...to...uh... Rey missed dinner. Since I'm the one who made her deal with your drunk ass, I'm the one who was sent to...uh...retrieve her." Poe thought this explanation was adequate.

"Retrieve. Her." Ben repeated without emotion, causing Poe to shift uncomfortably. "She's fine here. I'll get her food, should she need it," he decided on a reply.

"You see, the thing is, the girls already got her a plate of food. It, and  _they_ , are waiting on her. In  _her_  room."

"Well,  _you'll_  have to tell them that she's sleeping. I'm not waking her.  _You're_  not waking her. She's staying here." With this statement, Ben moved to block more of his doorway with his body.

"Ben, it's fine," Rey's sleepy voice sounded from behind him.

"You missed dinner," Poe hurriedly told her before Ben could say anything.

"Oh," was her clever reply.

Ben glared at Poe, unbeknownst to Rey, for disturbing his peace. " _I_  can get us something to eat," he told her, eyes still on Poe.

"Man, I don't care what or if Rey eats, I just don't want to be nagged by Conni and Rose. Even you can understand that, right?"

Ben visibly softened. He was about to reply when both he and Poe were distracted by Rey's quick movements. She scrambled out of the bed and just made it to Ben's garbage receptacle before promptly throwing up in it. Both men hurried to her side, Ben pulling her hair away from her face and rubbing soothing circles on her back.

"I thought you weren't going to drink to keep tabs on me," he lightly teased her.

"I didn't," she managed to reply pathetically before vomiting again.

"Are you sick?" Poe inquired. He hoped he didn't sound insensitive, but he couldn't risk illness in the settlement, especially not with a pregnant immuno-compromised Conni! Though, apparently he  _did_ , based on the look Ben shot him.

"No. Not sick," she replied, without vomiting this time.

Poe cocked his head, taking in the scene before him. It was familiar. It was his own life at the moment. He was Ben, Rey was Conni. The truth hit him like an excited BB8! Rey was pregnant, and Ben obviously didn't know. For the first time, well,  _ever_ , Poe felt sorry for Kylo Ren and a bit of disappointment towards Rey.

"Rey..." Poe began but thought better of where that train of thought was leading. "Here," he told Ben, handing him his cup of water. "Rey can have this, though we should take her to get food. If Conni misses a meal right now she, like Rey, is sick," he said with meaning. The meaning was lost on Ben.

Rey knew. Rey knew Poe knew. Rey knew Poe knew that Rey knew about Conni's pregnancy, and Rey now knew that Poe knew about her own pregnancy. It was the  _way_  he said that last bit. Rey also knew that Poe knew that Ben  _didn't_  know.

Poe encouraged Ben further to help Rey to her room to get something to eat. He was being abnormally nice to Ben, and Rey hated that Poe's charms worked on Leia's son as well as they did on the General. Once to her room, Poe told no one specifically, though Conni, Rose, and Finn were present, to divvy up the food for both Rey and Ky- _Ben_. They begrudgingly obeyed. Ben was suspicious of Poe's kindness and was even more suspicious when he pulled Rey aside. However, hungover darkside users couldn't be choosers, so he gratefully committed his attention to eating the food that was given to him.

Rey followed Poe under the guise of getting more ice, and she knew it would be beneficial to follow Poe away from earshot of everyone else.

"I don't even know what to say!" Poe began his lecturing. "I- How- When did- You're pregnant! And  _he_  doesn't know! That's terrible, Rey!"

Rey didn't reply. She didn't know what to say. Her secret was out and definitely not to the person she would have ever thought would have figured it out. Apparently, Poe now had a soft spot for Ben... It was uncomfortable.

" _How_  have you not told him?! It's kriffing Kylo fucking Ren, and  _I_  feel sorry for him!"

"You  _know_  why I haven't told him!" she hissed. "It may have been irrational...ok, it  _was_  irrational, but I thought he was going to  _kill_  me, and he would have definitely killed me if he knew I was carrying his child and putting his future into jeopardy!"

"He's so obviously  _not_  going to kill you! He's  _trying_  to win you back. Hell, he's putting up with all of  _us_ , his known enemy for years, to make  _you_  happy! Why haven't you told him?! All this time! I- I can't understand. After you  _making_  us give him a chance, and you- you withhold  _this_!? It's so disappointing. I wouldn't think you capable of this kind of cruelty."

"It's more complicated than you think," she tried to defend herself.

"It's not. I know he wronged you. He's done  _a lot_  of things wrong, and I don't really like him, but he  _deserves_  to know. It's his too." Poe paused for a second to consider his next words. "You need to tell him. Or I'll tell... Leia."

"No!" she said quickly. "I'll tell him."

"Now. Tell him  _now_."

"I'm not telling him in front of everyone!"

Poe glared at her. Actually glared. He was totally on Ben's side, and Rey didn't like it. Hello!? First Order Supreme Leader! Poe was being a traitor...who turned on his heel and marched back to Rey's room without ice. She followed behind, afraid of what he was going to do.

"Guys, Rey really isn't feeling too well. Let's leave her to her food. B-Ben can take care of her."

Rey smirked at how hard it was for Poe to say Ben's name. Her amusement didn't last long as her friends, who were obviously tired, reluctantly agreed just so they could go to their own beds. She didn't expect that they would agree! Poe shot Rey a meaningful glare before following his friends out the door.

"Is Poe mad that you may infect everyone else?" Ben asked after swallowing a mouthful of food. "If anyone is going to get sick, it's going to be me. He  _should_  be happy about that."

"I'm not sick," Rey told him taking a seat on the floor to start eating her food. "Or, at least, my illness isn't contagious."

She took a few bites off her food and waited for him to inquire about the meaning of her last comment. He didn't. Ben was too engrossed in eating his food. Rey was relieved and continued eating her meal.

"How do you know you're not contagious? I'm pretty sure I drank after you today. Ok, I blatantly stole your unfinished water when you left. I just hope it's not the plague, as Poe seems to think it is... " he picked up the conversation once he was finished eating, much to Rey's annoyance, but also slight relief.

She sighed, putting down her fork. "It's not the plague. It's not contagious."

Ben was sure she sounded testy. He was only joking. "I was just teasing you. I'm sure you're fine. Like Poe said, Conni also gets sick when she misses a meal."

Rey was definitely annoyed. She had no reason to be annoyed with him. Maybe her fear was manifesting as annoyance. Yeah. That's what was happening.

"Conni is sick because she's pregnant," Rey blurted out, the annoyance getting the best of her.

Ben stilled, his dark eyes meeting hers. "Does Poe know about the miscarriage? I thought no one knew... It's rude of him to say these things if-"

"He doesn't know. No one knows," Rey told him.

He looked at her, waiting, knowing she would continued her unfinished train of thought. However, Rey didn't begin right away. She took the time to move to sit next to him on the little sofa in her little room. This was it. No going back. Deep breath.

"You're going to be angry," she found herself saying. She was stalling. Maybe if she said something really bad...like, she was dying, and then told him 'not really, just pregnant!' he would handle the news better? But, no. She decided against that in favor of direct honesty.

Ben just looked at her expectantly. She could tell from the look on his face that he had no clue what she was about to tell him. That she was about to change his life forever. "I'm pregnant," she finally let go of her secret. It felt good.

He took in a deep breath through his nose and nodded. He broke eye contact and put down his plate. "I'm...I'm not hungry," he claimed, though she believed that the shock had stolen his appetite. He stood, opened his mouth like he was going to say something, even a small sound escaped before he shut his mouth again, and he turned on his heel and hastily left the room.

Rey just stared at the empty doorway. Not really the reaction she was expecting...but it wasn't terrible. She moved to take another bite of food when Ben reappeared in the doorway.

"I'm sorry... _what_?!" He came back into the room and reclaimed his seat. He looked thoroughly confused.

"I'm pregnant," Rey repeated. She wanted to take his hand but thought it best to give him his little bit of space.

"Pregnant," he echoed. "Is- Did you- Is it mine?" he finally settled on something to say.

" _You're_  really going to ask me that?!"

Ben shrugged and nodded.

"Yes. It's yours.  _I've_  never been with anyone else."

"Was that whole miscarriage story real, or did you and the good doctor make that up?" Ben asked with a hint of anger.

"Yes, it was real! I would never make something like that up!"

"But you  _would_  hide my child from me. I'm always the  _monster_  that you're running from. What do I have to do to prove myself to you?! I will  _not_  let you take what is also  _mine_  from me." His Kylo was showing, anger bubbling to the surface and spilling into the space between them, his thoughts jumping from one tangent to another.

"I'm not. I would never do that," she said with compassion, knowing that she needed to reign him, and his temper, in.

"You  _did_! You only told me because Dameron figured you out!" he was raising his voice now.

At this, Rey did take his hands. "I was always going to tell you. At first, I was afraid. Then, I just couldn't find the right time."

"Afraid..." he repeated, as if the word was dirty.

"I'm thinking that the changes in my hormones is what caused me to have irrational fears," she explained. "That, and you locking me in a room all alone for five days."  _While you cheated_ was left unsaid, but they both understood that the words lingered.

_That_  reminder took some of the anger out of him. He  _had been_  a monster, locking his warrior princess away, making her a prisoner. However, his actions did not absolve her of hers, or lack thereof... Ben now channeled his anger into the belief that she was a hypocrite. How  _dare_  she lecture him on his shortcomings while hiding  _this_  from him! The whole time he was here!

Since it appeared that Ben was lost in his head, Rey continued to speak. "My fear of what your reaction would be wasn't the only reason I kept my pregnancy a secret from  _everyone_. Just think what your true enemies-  _Hux,_  for example- would do if they found out. I just didn't want  _anyone_  to know. Yet. And, I know that was selfish, but I have to protect our child. I'm the only one who can right now."

Ben was uncharacteristically silent. Rey could still feel his anger, but he wasn't acting on it. In fact, he just nodded his head and slowly got to his feet, disentangling his hands from hers.

"I need to...think."

She nodded nervously, "Ok, it's a lot to process." She was afraid that he was locking her away from him again, just in a new way. It was now that she realized she  _really_ , for sure, didn't want to go through this alone anymore.

Ben turned toward the door, then back to her, was going to say something, but headed for the door instead. He stopped in the doorway, hands gripping the sides. He turned back to Rey and took her in completely. The way her hair gently brushed a bit past her shoulders, the adorable freckles that dusted her sun-kissed face, her wide and hopeful hazel eyes, her navy blue tunic that, he now noticed, was just a tad snug around her tummy...his beautiful, fierce Rey.

"I'm not leaving you," he told her, learning from past mistakes and knowing she needed to hear this. "I just need... well, I'm not sure what I need. I just know that I'm hungover and this is too much right now, so I'm taking a walk."

Rey nodded, looking much more relieved. However, she knew they weren't out of the woods yet. They still had a lot of talking to do, but it was comforting to know that he was coming back.

* * *

The next day brought a heat wave and hard work. Well,  _Rey_  was working exceptionally hard, trying, and failing, to keep her mind off of a certain black-haired mountain of a man who had disappeared into the night and had yet to return to her. Everyone else was working, but they had taken several more 'breaks' than Rey had. Of course Poe knew the reason behind Rey displaying further her wonderful work ethic, but he had no intention to approach her for fear of learning that he had perhaps overstepped and caused a rift between her and Ben. So he sent Rose.

"Ok, Rey, please take a break. You're starting to make us  _all_  look bad! Even Sven has taken  _two_  breaks. At least come out from under there and get a drink of water." Rose was probably the second hardest worker, and she felt dehydrated so she knew Rey must be at least a little bit thirsty.

Rey rolled out from under the ship she was currently working on to stare up at Rose. She was covered in oil, dirt, lubricant, and maker knows what else! Rose wrinkled her nose at her, noticing that Rey even had a smudged dirt mark across her forehead, obviously from trying to wipe sweat away. This look convinced Rey to agree to Rose's request, and she followed her to the table holding ice and water.

Rey was on her second cup when she noticed people whispering and staring in the direction behind her. She turned in time to see Ben determinedly striding towards her. Ignoring her filthy appearance, and all of the people around them, he pulled Rey into his arms and crushed his lips to hers.

"Told you I'd come back," he said against her lips before kissing her again.

"Did I miss something?!" they heard Finn ask Rose.

"I think we all did..." she replied, looking at the two quizzically.

Rey was the first to completely pull away. A deep blush stained her cheeks, since she wasn't ready for anything that had just, and was about to, happen. She knew that she'd have to start explaining things, but she didn't have all the answers yet. The answer to her relationship with Ben was especially complex and elusive. She didn't know what the heck they were to each other! All she  _did_  know was that nothing was fixed, so to speak, between them, but she enjoyed that kiss  _very_  much.

"I think you need to take a break," Ben murmured, placing his forehead against hers.

"Not you, too!" Rey groaned.

"It's too hot for you to be working so hard out here," he explained reasonably. "You're going to overheat, and I'm not going to let that happen.  _I'm_  going to take care of  _you_. I'll finish your work, while you go have a shower."

Rey reluctantly agreed, which made her friends (except Poe) worry because that was so unlike her. She added, to appease their curiosity, that she'd find something to do inside. She then gave Ben one more peck on the lips before leaving the hangar.

"What did you do to my friend?" Finn asked Ben skeptically, watching where Rey had just left.

Ben  _really_  couldn't help himself as the reply left his mouth. "What  _haven't_  I done to your friend?" A small smirk formed on his lips, thoroughly proud of himself for shocking Finn into silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm off for MLK Day on Monday, so I hope that I'll be able to have a quick update for once! Then again, the tiny terrorist is also out of school... So we shall see! How to Train Your Dragon may allow me time for writing. :-)
> 
> I get to go to Disney in February! I've never been. :-( My husband is going for work, so my son and I get to go for fun! Among other things, we get to build our own lightsaber, and we're going to meet Kylo Ren, Chewie, and BB8. My son has about three Kylo and two Luke costumes... Apparently the Kylo character is nicer (well, as nice as Kylo can be) if you're dressed pro-darksider, so I'm dressing the kid in a Kylo costume. I'm thinking of wearing at least a Leia shirt. :-D My son won't be four, so we have to miss out on Jedi training. :-(
> 
> On another note, my son has seen TLJ waaaaay too many times! He was re-enacting the throne room fight with his dinosaur figures... Rey and Kylo were velociraptors. Seems legit.


	28. Ambush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was brought to my attention that chapter 26 titled Birthday was missing for a bit. So, if you have made it this far without reading about Ben's birthday, then please go back to chapter 26. Things will make more sense that way!
> 
>  
> 
> Better than I was  
> More than I am  
> And all of this happened  
> By takin' your hand
> 
> And who I am now  
> Is who I wanted to be  
> And now that we're together  
> I'm stronger than ever  
> I'm happy and free
> 
> Oh, it's a beautiful thing  
> Don't think I can keep it all in, no  
> And if you asked me why I changed  
> All I gotta do is say your sweet name
> 
> ("It's Your Love" Tim McGraw ft. Faith Hill)

* * *

"How?"

Rey raised an eyebrow at Ben. "Well... when two people love each other-"

Ben rolled his eyes. "You  _know_  what I mean."

"I guess two people don't even really have to love each other... "

"Rey, please focus. Tell me everything," Ben pleaded.

She smiled, tempted to continue teasing him...

After dinner, Ben insisted on taking Rey to see the sunset on 'their' little grassy knoll part of the settlement. The real reason was so he could, of course, get her alone so they could talk. Put everything out in the open and try to work through it. Her friends were uncomfortable with their sudden closeness, and his were ecstatic.

"I've explained most of this to you already," she told him, deciding to be serious. "Dr. Vormir gave me the test too early so I got a false negative. Day five of...our separation, I woke up feeling unwell and there was..." Rey trailed off, the reality of what happened sinking in.

Ben tugged her hand, silently asking her to sit with him in the grass. They sat facing each other, their legs tangled together and clapping right hands. His left hand picked at the grass, but he kept his eyes on hers.

"You don't have to talk about...  _that_  part, if you don't want to, but I'm here to listen if you do," he told her softly, rubbing the top of her hand with his thumb.

"I don't  _really_  want to...but I think that I need to, a bit." She took a deep breath of fresh air and continued on, "I think, for me, it was just so unexpected, and with everything else going on, I just don't feel how I think I  _should_  feel about it. Does that make sense?"

Ben nodded. "I cried," he said in a rush. "When I found out. I cried. I mean, I made it to the fresher first. Couldn't let anyone see the Supreme Leader crying, it would undermine my authority." He gave her a faint smile.

"Somehow, it doesn't surprise me that you would react that way."

"Maybe because you know I'm an emotional mess!"

Rey returned his faint smile with one of her own. "Well, no one could ever accuse either of us of not being passionate and led by our feelings."

"No. They could not." After a beat of silence, Ben had to share a bit of information that had been on his mind. "I'm not sure that you want to hear this, in fact, you probably don't... but I need to talk about it, too." Rey nodded her understanding and bid him to go on. "Vormir told me that the baby would have most likely been a boy, and I have had dreams about having a son."

"I have too," she disclosed. "Though, it could mean that this," she touched her stomach with her free hand, "is a boy."

"It probably is," he agreed, glancing at her tummy. "It's what I deserve. I killed my father and now I believe the force would love nothing more than to give me a son of my own. One probably  _just_  like me. Show me what I put my parents through... Let me apologize in advance."

"Oh, stop! This child is going to be perfect because it will take after me!" Rey teased.

"I can agree to that. You are perfect," Ben replied, obviously trying out flattery on her.

Rey rolled her eyes but smiled widely, giving his hand an unconscious squeeze. "So, back to the  _how_ ," she deflected. "The doctor said that sometimes with a pregnancy involving more than one baby, it's not uncommon to lose one but keep the other. It's nothing that either of us did. It just happens."

"You realize that I'm never going to leave you again. You're going to beg me to go away. I won't, of course." Ben lifted her hand to his lips.

"How very  _Kylo_  of you," she told him with a hint of amusement. "Forcing your will onto others."

"Don't be mistaken, I'm still a darksider. I always will be. Kylo Ren is also who I am, it's just a name I chose to distance myself from Ben Solo. I'm not fully either of those people anymore, but I am a bit of both."

"Obviously, there was a bit of Kylo that I liked...well,  _that_  part of you at least contributed to my sexual awakening!" She smiled and ruffled his hair with her free hand before letting it drop back to her side. "Did you want me to go back to calling you  _Kylo_?" She said this in jest, but part of her really wondered.

Ben did think about it... "No," he decided. "I will remain Kylo Ren as the Supreme Leader, or whatever we decide to make of the ruins of the First Order. But, I want to be  _Ben_  to you."

"We?" Rey had pinpointed.

"Yes. We. I know that you don't want to rule, but you will help me. I know you will."

"I will, but you must allow Leia and Poe to help as well. They know much more than I do."

"I will... begrudgingly so... but I will," he said with a soft smile. "To be honest, I  _do_  need my mother. I don't really know much about ruling, but she does."

"I think," she began, scooting even closer to him to where she was almost in his lap, "you'll do just fine. You're very clever, and intimidating. Two qualities needed to rule the First Order effectively. And, you're working on your... compassion, which I think is also necessary in order to be a  _good_  ruler."

Ben pulled Rey the rest of the way into his lap, causing her to straddle him. He kissed her deeply, clinging to her body. She kissed him back with the same amount of passion. He couldn't help himself. He knew he shouldn't say it. Not now. Not so soon. But, he really wasn't thinking with the correct head... "Please let me make love to you," he mumbled against her lips.

She pulled away, sliding backwards off of his lap. "I can't. Part of me wants to let everything go and start over, but I still feel hurt. And, you're the one who hurt me. I just... can't."

"I understand. It was worth a shot," he smiled weakly. "So," he decided to quickly change the subject, "what do you think about the name Anakin?"

Rey smiled at him, happy to delve into the new subject matter. It was nice to be able to talk to someone about her pregnancy, especially since that someone was Ben! "But what if it  _is_  a boy?"

Ben narrowed his eyes at this comment, not knowing if she was teasing him or not. "Anakin  _is_  a boy's name. It was my grandfather's name, Leia's father."

"Anna Kyn is a  _boy_  name?!" Rey replied skeptically.

"Says  _Rey_..." he muttered.

"Why do you say  _that_?!" she asked, apparently offended.

" _Rey_  is a  _boy_  name," he informed her.

At this, she threw a handful of grass at his face. Most of it drifted down to his lap, but a few blades stuck to his hair. He returned this action with a smirk. She hated how well, and how quickly, he could get under her skin.

"It doesn't matter, anyway. I've already chosen a name, and no one will ever talk me out of it!" she told him pointedly.

Ben was at once excited and nervous to know. He had no intention of trying to talk Rey out of any name she would choose. He knew, now, when to choose his battles. "So...?" he prompted.

Rey hadn't said it out loud yet, and she found that she was apprehensive to share the name. Even with Ben.  _Especially_  with Ben. What if he hated it? No. She chose it carefully and with love. He wouldn't hate it.

"Bryn," she said tentatively. When he betrayed no emotion over her choice, she felt the need to further explain. "Well, it's  _your_  name around  _my_  name but without the 'e' from either. But, I didn't make it up. It's a real name. I saw it-"

"I love it," he said with a smile, interrupting her ramblings. He then quickly kissed her, almost as a way to seal the deal of agreement on a name.

"I think it would be a fine name for either a boy or a girl," she continued her needless defense of the name.

"Rey," he cradled her face in both hands to look directly into her eyes, "I really do love it. It's perfect. I'm... touched that you were still going to include me in the name, even if you weren't sure about including me in its life."

Rey wasn't ready to get into discussing serious feelings again, so she continued on about the name. "Bryn Ren sounds terrible, though. So  _that's_  not an option! Bryn of Carcaso sounds pretentious," she wrinkled her nose.

"Then it must be Bryn Solo," Ben interjected. "A bit too close to my own name, but I'm willing to share." He then boldly added, "Rey Solo sounds good..." and quickly amended, "...that wasn't a proposal. Just an observation." This was the first time that Rey could swear that he was blushing.

"Rey Solo  _does_  sound good." She smiled brightly before making an amendment of her own, "...that wasn't an acceptance. Just an observation."

Ben actually full on smiled. "You're completely impertinent! And I love you better for it!" He really couldn't stop kissing her. She was letting him, so he decided to take full advantage.

Rey found herself back in his lap, straddling his thighs. Their bodies and lips were pressed together, hands wandering as they pleased. Hers couldn't stay out of his hair, his couldn't settle in one spot. He caressed her thighs, her back, her hair, back down to her derriere, and repeated it all over again.

"Get a room!" Sven said, amusement clear in his voice.

Rey tried slide away from Ben, but he held her tightly in place. She was embarrassed, he was cocky.

"We were here first," Ben replied.

"Yeah, well, her friends are heading this way, and they might jump you and kick your ass if they find you pawing all over her," Sven informed them. "I, for one, an thrilled that you two have made up, but we need to keep our peace agreement!"

"I'm my own person. I can kiss Ben all I want," Rey spoke up. "They'll just have to get used to it."

Almost in defiance she began kissing Ben, hoping her friends would catch them. She was tired of keeping secrets and thought that it was better to just get it over with! However, there was one secret she wasn't going to share. Not yet. Leia was next on the list to know before anyone else, and she thought that Ben should be the one to tell her.

" _Really?!_ "

They had been caught. By Finn. Maybe not Rey's  _first_  choice for finding her attacking Ben's mouth, but he would have to do. She went to pull away, but Ben held her closer and double-downed his efforts.

"I  _told_  them to get a room," Sven quipped.

"Let go of her!" Finn demanded, poking Ben in the obliques with his foot. To be fair, it was just shy of a kick.

Ben did as he asked, but it was so he could grab Finn'am foot and bring the younger man to the ground with a thud. The wind was knocked out of Finn, which made Ben thankful for the temporary silence.

"Don't ever touch me like that again," Ben growled. "Though you are Rey's friend,  _I_  am still your Supreme Leader, and you  _will_  show me respect."

Rey very easily could tell that possessive Kylo was out to play. She  _was_  slightly amused by Finn's shock, but she could not allow Ben to threaten her friends.

"Ben..." she admonished with just the use of his name. He immediately visibly softened. "Please don't do that again."

"He started it-" Ben began to protest. He didn't get very far. Pogba rushed to him in distress.

"It's happened. Hux. He overthrew our Brothers with a few other Generals. Those who remained loyal to you were executed. Our Brothers are coming to us now. We must go to them!"

Ben was on his feet in less than a second. Sven also crowded in.

"Are they all ok? No one's hurt?" Ben questioned, obviously desperate to know the state of his Knights.

"There was static, but Bryce said they're coming in a roundabout way to be sure that they're not followed. Someone is injured- Luca, I think- but he said something about Amir that I couldn't make out. I told them to try to land near the old town. It's closest to the hospital."

The fact that Pogba looked, and sounded, distressed had Ben moving as his most serious knight was still talking. He needed to change into more formal clothing, and he needed his lightsaber. Being here had made him lax, and now his men were paying for it. He should have gone back instead of trying to selfishly win Rey back. Not that he regretted being with her for one second, but he needed to snap back to reality. There was a war. He needed to win it.

"Let me go with you," Rey's sweet voice broke through his thoughts. She was rushing to keep up with the much larger men.

Ben didn't think that it was a good idea, but he also knew that she'd probably just sneak off after them anyway. He may as well have her at his side so he could be sure that she'd be safe. So he nodded.

"I'm changing," he stated. "You should too. We will stop back by your room and then head out. Will that give you enough time?"

"Yes," she confirmed.

Ben sent Sven to inform Leia of the recent developments. He thought it important that the Resistance knows that someone crazier than he is now controls the First Order. Or, at least, he's  _trying_  to. There would be no peace anywhere if Hux was allowed any amount of control. This must be remedied quickly. Leia was given the task to figure out how, with as little loss of life as possible.

It didn't take long for the three Knights of Ren to collect Rey from her room. They were all clad in their formal black clothing- the ones they arrived in. Rey opted for a navy tunic and grey leggings and arm wraps- it was the darkest clothing she had.

By the time they got to the old town, the Knights were already on the ground and disembarking their ship. The could see that it was indeed Luca who was injured, Bryce and Thad supporting him, and Amir wasn't present at all.

Sven and Pogba moved to take over care of Luca from an obviously exhausted Bryce and Thad. Bryce approached Ben and Rey while Thad sank to the ground, completely distraught.

"We were ambushed," were the first words out off Bryce's mouth. "We walked into dinner after training and Luca took the first blast. We pulled him away, but shots were now aimed at us seemingly from everywhere. We had to use a combination of the force and our lightsabers to deflect. We headed directly for the flight deck, passing dead officers along the way. The officers who had been loyal to you and the new direction of leadership. We were about to make our escape, when Amir was captured. He was going to be last on the ship because he was untethering us from the fuel line. We had no choice but to leave him."

Ben seethed. He couldn't wait to kill that red-haired perpetual thorn in his side. Why had he spared the man  _this_  long?! He needed to remain in control and save his knight.

"Do you have any sense if Hux was planning on executing Amir, or do you think he wants to make a switch?" Ben asked calmly, strategic mindset engaged.

"I don't really know, Kylo. He'd be a fool to not at least try to switch Amir for you... or her." Bryce for the first time took notice of Rey. "It's nice to finally meet you, Rey. I just wish that it was under better circumstances."

"We'll do all we can to get your friend back, " she said kindly.

"Ah, yes. You and the Resistance. Well, for once, I'll be more than happy to fight along side you all," Bryce replied.

The group of force users made their way to the hospital to have Luca thoroughly looked over to determine how serious his injuries were. Although no one would admit it, or much less put voice to it, they all knew his injuries were critical. None of them were sure that he was going to live.

Rey felt a little out of place waiting around with Ben and his Knights. She would consider herself friends with Sven, and though she and Pogba got along well, they hadn't really gotten close. She had never met Bryce and Thad, so she really didn't know how to act around them. She sat helplessly in a chair and tracked Ben with her eyes. He, of course, was pacing. He was the only one, the rest of the Knights sitting around miserably.

Just as they had feared. The doctor and attending droid came back with bad news. There was very little chance that Luca would survive his injuries, and if he did, there was an even smaller chance that he'd ever be the same again. The doctor left them to ponder their decisions.

"Can't  _she_  try to fix him?" Thad spoke for the first time, through tears.

Rey looked around as if another 'she' would magically appear, before asking incredulously, "ME?!"

Thad nodded. "Yes, you. You're strong with the light side of the force. You can use it to try to fix him."

"I can't do that! I barely learned anything from Luke, least of all  _that_!" Rey set the record straight.

"But we  _did_  read about it in the Jedi texts. He's right, you can  _try_. It obviously won't hurt anything," Ben coaxed, now having joined Thad in his cause.

"I- I just don't know how! It's not that I'm not willing, but I don't  _know_  what to do. At all!" Rey continued to explain her refusal.

Ben stepped towards her and gently held her hands. "You can do it. I know you can. I'll help you. Please," he whispered, kissing her forehead.

Rey looked up into Ben's pleading eyes, and then took in the Knights around her. They all seemed to be begging her to try. What was there to lose? She reluctantly gave it, happy that she brought the Jedi texts with her!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was trying to think of a Star Wars-y name. But then the name Bryn hit me because it does have the letters of their names while still being a real name. Part of my husband's family is Welsh, and I'm pretty sure there's a Bryn cousin somewhere in there. It means "hill," so not very exciting in that department!
> 
> So... last night we went out to dinner to watch college basketball with my (fairly) proper southern mother. Like, pearls and bourbon, bless your heart, southern USofA. Suffice it to say, she's not really a fantasy/sci-fi person. More of a CNN or period drama lady. So she asked, "who's that boy [your son] likes? Kyle Ray? The one with the red stick?" in the most country of accents. She bought the toddler a placemat that has Kylo on it and was corrected immediately by said toddler. Though, he says Ren in the most country of accents... Did y'all know that Ren could be three syllables? Anyway, we now all know Kylo's redneck name! Kyle Ray. I was amused.


	29. Unity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am truly sorry for taking so long to post. I hope you all are still with me! They say when it rains, it pours. Personal life, work life, combined with a mean case of writer's block equals an extraordinarily delayed story. I, again, had trouble connecting plotline A to plotline B. Though, I did make this longer and a lot of... things happen! Hopefully there will be smooth sailing from here to the end, which is coming! :-(
> 
> Disclaimer/warning/whatever: sexy times ahead.
> 
>  
> 
> We fit together, you make me better  
> Whatever it takes, I'm here forever  
> Bad things will happen, but none of that matters  
> We'll find a way, as long as I'm with you, I'm ok
> 
> ("Ok" Backstreet Boys brand new damn song from their brand new #1 damn album!)

* * *

Rey failed. Luca was dead, and she couldn't help but feel guilty about that. She knew it wasn't her fault, and none of the Knights had treated her with anything other than grateful kindness for even trying, but being a fixer was part of who she was as a person. Not being able to fix something, or someone, made the failure feel worse- like she failed even herself.

"I'm so very sorry," Rey said emphatically to Thad, who was the most distraught at their loss.

"You did all you could," he replied between sniffles.

Rey turned to Ben, taking his arm to pull him a few steps away from the group. "I'm going to give you all your space to grieve as a group. I'll be wandering the old town. You can find me when you're ready to go back."

"Thank you," Ben said softly and kissed her cheek. "I'll come find you shortly. I need to move quickly against Hux. He won't get away with what he's done."

Rey kissed him back on his lips. She gave him a faint smile and a reassuring squeeze to his hand before leaving him to his Knights.

She wandered aimlessly through the market, taking in the sights of beautiful fabrics and jewelry, the smell of delicious food, and the sound of the bustling crowd. It had been a sunny day, and now the sinking sun painted the sky with pinks and darkening blues. It was nice to have some alone time, but she'd be happy to get back to her friends and Ben.

She was at a stall deciding which fruit to purchase, when a soft hand gently gripped her shoulder. She turned to find an older woman staring at her as if she had seen a ghost.

Rey waited for the woman to speak, and when she did not, Rey decided to break the silence. "Do you need some assistance?" she asked kindly.

"You look just like my Marieta and Vera. Especially the eyes. Such pretty eyes..." the lady told her.

"Well... thank you," Rey replied uncomfortably but gave the woman a small smile.

"How old are you, child?"

Rey didn't really think that her age was any of this stranger's business, but she also couldn't find any harm in indulging an old lady's curiosity. "I'm almost twenty," she replied, keeping with her kind tone of voice.

"What is your name? Who are your parents?"

Wow. Ok, this was getting a bit too personal now, and Rey was slightly offended. She was more than old enough to be out in the town alone, and she thought it was rude to ask of someone's family if they didn't know the person.

"I don't mean any disrespect, but I don't see how that's any of your business," she replied briskly this time.

"You remind me so much of my daughters that I just wonder..." the woman began her explanation but trailed off as her gaze shifted to over Rey's shoulder. "Ben Solo!" she said shocked, though there was no fear in her voice, as was the case with most people.

"Ona," Ben greeted with a nod.

"You know each other?" Rey asked even though it was obvious that they did. At this point she knew she shouldn't be surprised at how many people knew Ben Solo, as well as Kylo Ren.

"I saw this boy grow up," Ona replied, sounding self-important. "My little Cecily was his friend... for a while."

_Cecily_. The name was familiar to Rey but she couldn't quite place it.

"Cecily has done well," Ben commented, making small talk. "It's nice to see such a kind soul so happily married. I do apologize for the scene I may have caused at the wedding."

"Nonsense! Tristan was a traitorous shit. It was good to be done with him!" The old lady- Ona countered.

_Wedding_! So that's why Rey remembered Cecily. This Ona woman must be her grandmother. Maybe this was really the reason the woman found her familiar.

"It was a lovely wedding," Rey spoke up.

"You were there?" Ona's attention was back on Rey.

Rey nodded. "I was a guest of Leia Organa's."

"A Resistance member, " Ona stated rather than asked.

Rey glanced at Ben before answering, "That's right."

"And now you're here with  _Ben_?" she asked skeptically.

"Yes," Rey confirmed. "I'm now accompanying the Supreme Leader. We made a truce, you see. It's been nice working together." She felt compelled to offer this information. To let anyone who would hear that Ben could be a great leader.

"Again, what it your name, girl?" Ona pressed.

"Rey, if you  _must_  know," Ben answered for her. Rey shot him a perturbed look, but he didn't seem to notice. "It's been...  _nice_  seeing you again. Give my congratulations to you family." With those last words, Ben took Rey by the arm and pulled her willingly away. "Nice lady, but she talks too much. We were about to be stuck for  _hours_ ," he whispered as they made their escape.

Rey giggled. She can't remember ever having giggled before, but she felt like a naughty child escaping from an elder to go off and do naughty things. And, she desperately wanted to do naughty things with- well, maybe 'to' was a better word...  _to_  Ben! Though, she shook those thoughts from her mind to focus on more pressing issues.

"Ben?" she asked, somehow communicating the seriousness of her thoughts with just his name.

"Yes...?" he wondered, not able to keep his amusement from his tone.

Rey let loose, all of it coming out in a rush. "You need to tell Leia...about us... What will we do about Hux? How are we going to get Amir back? I need to tell Finn. And Rose. And Conni. I want to-"

"Whoa. One thing at a time!" Ben stopped walking and gently grabbed Rey by her upper arms to stop her as well. "I will destroy Hux. No need to worry about that! But, first things first...  _we_  need to tell my mother that she will be a grandmother. Then, you will tell your friends. I can be there, or not..."

" _You're_  not getting out of it!" She poked him in the chest as she stated these words as fact. "They can be angry with the  _both_  of us!"

"Except Poe. He seemed ok with it," Ben corrected her assumptions.

"Yeah, well Poe is dealing with his own  _surprise_  pregnancy... so he's probably happy to have someone else in that same situation!"

Ben nodded, thinking that maybe he and Poe could find a way to get along after all. They could at least commiserate over the excitement, and inconvenience, of their situation. He, of course, didn't share this thought with Rey. Ben valued his life too much! So, instead, he continued walking along making small talk.

Leia was easy to find once they made their way back to the base. They just had to listen for the sound of her loudly giving orders. It didn't take much for Ben to convince her to give them some of her time and undivided attention. Alone.

Once in the safety and seclusion of Leia's room, she bid them to speak. "What's so important that the two most powerful force users in the galaxy beg an audience with me?" she asked with a quirk in her eyebrow.

They sat comfortably in Leia's small sitting area, she in a chair while Ben and Rey sat side by side on a small sofa. Ben, however, was anything  _but_  comfortable. He didn't have a great relationship with his mother, and he was now about to essentially tell her about his sex life. With Rey, her perfect little Jedi. Where was he going to begin? How could he reveal this news? Tearing himself from his thoughts, Ben found two pairs of eyes trained on him expectantly.

He decided to try to be optimistic. For once. Ever. "We have some great news," he began, taking Rey's hand in his own. He needed the comfort of her touch to ease his nerves. "Rey is-  _we_  are- uh... we're... havingababy," he stumbled at first over his words but ended them in a rush.

Leia smiled and patted their joined hands. "Good. You finally told him," she said to Rey with a smile. "And you're handling it better than Han did," she turned her focus to Ben.

"You knew!" Rey exclaimed with a hint of anger. "That little... I can't believe that Poe told you!"

"Now, now, dear. Poe didn't tell me anything. I think you both forget that I am also force sensitive, and I was once pregnant with a force sensitive child. I know how the force feels and changes with a pregnancy such as this. I felt how I did when I was pregnant with Ben whenever I was around you. Whenever I  _am_  around you," Leia explained kindly.

" _You_  can feel it?" Ben asked in amazement. " _I_  can't feel it!"

"No offense, son, but you don't have maternal instincts. This," she gestured to Rey's midsection, "feels just like you did."

Rey smiled and placed the hand holding Ben's over her stomach. "I can feel it. Her. Him. Whichever. You can feel me through our bond, so focus on the difference," she instructed him.

"Ok," he agreed with a deep breath. Ben shut his eyes and focused on Rey's force signature. It didn't take him long to feel the difference, now that he knew he was looking for one. His eyes shot open. "I feel it! I mean, him or her."

"It's nice, isn't it? To now be connected to something that is yours but greater than yourself," Leia commented.

Ben met his mother's loving gaze and gave her a small smile. "Yes. It is."

The three of them shared a few more minutes together before it was Rey's turn to confess. She headed to the hangar, with Ben and Leia following behind. Ben had the sudden wish that he had brought his lightsaber with him in case he needed to defend himself, but he was happy to make due with his mother for protection. He even amused himself with the thought of hiding his 6'2" (plus some) form behind all 5'1" of hers! This led to him wondering how she was able to birth  _him_?! How was tiny Rey going to manage  _their_  child?! Ben was quite clever regarding most things, but figuring out the biology of  _this_  was something that he just couldn't wrap his mind around!

Before he knew it, the three of them were standing in the mostly deserted hangar. Since the sun had set, the Dream Team, of course, were the only ones present, and they were goofing off as usual. Rey shifted nervously as she called them over.

"Where have you been?!" Finn asked, as he was the first one to get to Rey. He spared a glance at Ben, which could have been considered the smallest of glares.

"It's a long -ish story...but that's not what I'm here to discuss quite yet."

Judging by Leia's glowing demeanor, Poe knew exactly what Rey and Ben were planning to discuss.

Ben lovingly took Rey's hand to give her courage. She smiled up at him. "So...it turns out that I  _am_  pregnant after all," she told them, choosing to be direct.

Finn and Rose were completely shocked. Poe was uncharacteristically silent. Conni was the only one beaming in delight.

"You. Him. You two. Are having a  _baby_?" Finn processed out loud. "How is this possible?!"

Rose couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "They had lots of sex, Finn. Without understanding the importance of birth control," she explained.

Conni couldn't hold back her excitement anymore and flung herself at Rey for a big hug. "We're having babies together!" she squealed.

Leia raised an eyebrow to Poe, and he just nodded in reply.

"They're going to be best friends!" Conni bubbly continued, not even realizing that she outed herself and Poe to Leia.

"Ok, ok..." Poe interrupted his lover. "Let's give Rey some space." He took Conni's arm and gently steered her away.

"This is going better than I thought," Ben whispered in Rey's ear.

" _You're_. Having  _his_. Baby?!" Finn still couldn't comprehend the news.

"Come on, Finn. Everyone knows they're together. It's really not  _that_  shocking," Poe told him, trying to have Rey's back on this one.

"He betrayed you!" Finn fumed.

"Yes. We've dealt with that. He's adequately begged forgiveness, and I've graciously forgiven him. None of that matters anyway, I was already pregnant at the time. I just didn't know it," Rey calmly explained, gripping Ben's hand tightly in reassurance. They weren't going back down that road. They were moving forward.

"Well, I am thrilled to  _finally_  become a grandmother!" Leia interjected to ease the tension. "Maybe we can make a bet on which baby will arrive first," she added with a wink.

"It's not a race," Ben stated, not amused.

"Let's not put us against each other now that we've become friends... well, friendly...er," Poe added with a smile.

"We have a name already picked out," Ben forced himself to be a positive part of this conversation. With Rey granting her permission with a nod, he shared their child-to-be's name, "Bryn Solo."

"It sounds too much like Ben," Finn grumpily critiqued, crossing his arms. Rose kicked his calf sharply with the toe of her boot, shaking her head at him.

"Well, it's a good thing that I didn't ask for  _your_  opinion on naming  _my_  child then, isn't it?!" Rey snapped.

Finn opened his mouth to argue but wisely closed it when all six pairs of eyes were on him, with five not looking too friendly. Poe's expression was pleading for him to shut his mouth.

"I love it," Rose stated her honest opinion, taking the attention off of Finn.

" _We_  can't agree on a name!" Conni told them with a hint of a pout, lightly punching Poe's arm.

"Yeah, because you want something like Steel for a boy and Bubbles for a girl!" Poe said, teasing Conni.

"Well, that's better than your idea of Blaster, which you probably believe it's gender neutral!" Conni played along and teased him back.

"Bryn is starting to sound a lot better," Finn admitted, eyeing his friends like they were crazy. "Please say you're joking about those terrible names."

"We are," Poe confirmed. "Just barely. Conni really did suggest Bubbles."

"I was half asleep! It wasn't a serious choice!" Conni defended herself.

"Bubbles is better than Blaster," Ben admitted, again trying to join in with Rey's friends. "Maybe Saber would be a better option," he suggested with a smirk to Poe.

Poe shrugged, "Actually, that does sound pretty cool."

"No!" Conni groaned.

" _Anyway_ ," Rey began to get everyone back on track for the next bit of information to share. "Something...bad?..." she looked questioningly to Ben "...has happened..."

Ben took over from there, "I, it seems, am quite possibly no longer the Supreme Leader. Hux, and a few others, have attacked my officers and Knights, killing officers that didn't switch to Hux's side. One of my Knights is dead, another was captured. Hux is now in control. Or, at least, he  _thinks_  he is."

"Amir, the Knight who was captured, is believed to still be alive. The rest of the Knights are here. In the Old Town." Rey added information that she felt was important for her friends to know. She didn't want anyone to be surprised when Sven and Pogba came back with more Knights of Ren!

"Luca," Ben paused here to keep his emotions in check, "was murdered by Hux, and I'm  _going_  to bring him down. I'm bringing  _all_  of them down."

"So, to recap, the Resistance now has four Knights of Ren and one ex-Supreme Leader to join in the fight against the First Order," Rey said with a smug smile.

"No," Leia spoke up.

" _No_?!" Rey repeated incredulously.

"I've let you stray from your path once before due to the actions of others," Leia addressed Ben, "and I'm not going to make that mistake again. The Resistance and its allies will stand with the  _rightful_  Supreme Leader. We will broadcast on the holonet displaying our unity and the bright future that we see for the galaxy."

It was agreed with minimal reluctance - after discussing the lesser of two evils, though Rey claimed just one evil was in the equation - that this was the best course of action. Leia was going to work with Ben on a speech, and then they'd get to showing the galaxy their unity and ensure that Hux would have no allies!

* * *

Adding the new Knights into the mix wasn't as challenging as everyone thought it was going to be. Of course, having Sven, Pogba, and Kylo to assist the new Knights in the adjustment made it easier for them. For the Resistance, the newcomers didn't bother them one bit. Everyone figured that if they were able to accept Kylo Ren, his Knights were no problem. They knew that he would keep them in line if needed. It also helped that they were easy on the eyes...

The biggest adjustment for Bryce and Thad was that everyone called Kylo 'Ben.' However, the biggest adjustment for  _all_  of the Knights was learning that Kylo was going to be a father. He had knocked up the last Jedi! Although they had all known that he had strong feelings for Rey - heck, they had all known his feelings for her before he could admit them to himself- they did  _not_  see him making such a risky mistake.

Because the pregnancy  _was_  a mistake. That's not to say that everyone wasn't happy about it... Ok, Finn was  _not_  happy about it... But, everyone also realized the danger this placed them in. Leia insisted that both Rey and Conni relocate to town, but neither soon-to-be mother, or father for that matter, were open to this suggestion. Leia tried to make it an order. Ben overruled her with a smirk. "You gave me the power," he had told her. She had replied with a stern look, but she didn't regret having her son in charge.

Rose found hanging around Rey and Conni even more entertaining than it previously had been. They both had seemed to lose a bit of their mental filter!

"I just always want cock! I'm so horny. All the time!" Conni announced, taking her seat at dinner.

Both Rose and Rey spit their water out with a laugh. Rose was sat in the middle of the hormonal ladies and geared up for some exciting conversation.

"I think Poe's dick is sore at this point... I just can't keep myself from pouncing on him!"

Rey laughed harder. "I bet Ben  _wishes_  his dick was sore!"

"Are you not super horny?!" Conni asked, shocked that any pregnant person wouldn't be horny.

"Oh, no. I am! I mean, you've  _seen_  him, right? He's walking sex. I want to climb him every second of every day. But...and I know this is petty, and I said that I've forgiven him, and I know we should be moving past his..." Rey paused her ramblings to think of the best word.

"Whoring," Conni helpfully offered. "He's a ho. Or a slut."

"He's not a slut! I'm the only person he's had sex with!" she defended her man.

"Cheating, then. He's a cheater," Conni amended.

"Whatever," Rey huffed. "Anyway, I withhold sex. I'm not even angry at him anymore, and I'm barely disgusted at the thought that some other woman sucked his dick. Good thing he got it then, I guess, because  _I'm_  never doing that!"

"Never say never, sweetie," Conni smirked.

"Please focus," Rose begged, tiring of the sporadic storytelling.

"Right. So, I deny him sex. Though, I super, really, desperately want to fuck him until he can't breathe!"

"Rey!" Rose exclaimed.

"Go do it then!" Conni encouraged her. "Or! If you want to keep up his punishment, just make him pleasure  _you_  without giving anything in return," she smiled wickedly.

"I can't do that!"

"You can," Conni countered.

"I really can't. I'm not seductive."

"He loves you, but more importantly he  _lusts_  for you. You don't have to seduce him, you're way past that!"

"Yeah, he put a baby in you," Rose pointed out.

"Exactly! All you have to do is tell him you're horny and he better take care of it. He'll probably be so shocked, and deprived, that he'll scramble over himself to do anything you ask!"

"I can't," Rey repeated. "I'm just not... sexy."

"What about sex?" Poe plunked down across from Conni, inserting himself into their conversation.

"What need to stop having these conversations in public," Rose muttered.

"Rey doesn't think she's sexy," Conni explained, avoiding everything else that had been said.

Poe barked out a laugh. "You're not!" He confirmed Rey's belief. He then let out a yelp, obviously from Conni kicking him under the table. "What?!" He turned his attention to Conni. "She's like my kid sister. There is nothing sexy about Rey. Now, that's  _my_  opinion. Obviously,  _Ben_  finds otherwise."

"Just agree that she can be sexy. That's she's sexy just because someone else thinks she is," Conni demanded.

Poe sighed, picking up his fork to stab his food. "Alright," he gave in, and in a completely toneless manner told Rey, "you are sexy. So so very sexy."

Rey didn't reply, though she was blushing furiously and her gaze was far above Poe's head.

"Ben's behind me, isn't he?" Poe kept with his toneless manner of speaking.

"Yep," Rose confirmed. "Plus the entourage."

"Conni made me say it," he began quickly explaining as he turned to look up at Ben. "She's definitely  _not_  sexy. At all. I mean, to  _me_. Obviously, to  _you_  she probably is."

Poe was let off the hook by Rey making her escape. She didn't know Bryce and Thad very well and was thoroughly embarrassed by the whole situation. Ben quickly followed her, leaving Sven to take the lead of integrating Bryce and Thad into the group of friends. Which, to be honest, they liked Sven better than Ben anyway, so this ended up working out to Bryce and Thad's advantage.

"Rey! Wait!" Ben called to her as he hurried to catch up. She was heading back to  _their_  room- having given up her room to Thad, while Conni gave hers to Bryce. He was easily able to match her pace to walk next to her.

Rey glanced up at him but didn't slow down, nor did she begin explaining why she left. She wasn't comfortable talking about sex. She loved hearing the stories of others, but dreaded any attention being put on her! Rey didn't even want to talk to Ben about her desires. She would rather just show him.

"What's the matter?" he finally broke the silence once on their room. "I'm not mad. I wasn't going to do anything to Poe. I know what I heard was out of context."

"I- I..." she paused to think of the best way to proceed. With their history, honesty was the best option. Though, again, she wasn't confident in talking about her feelings regarding sex. So, she did what she had done their first time in the forest. Rey pushed Ben down onto their bed and attacked his mouth with hers while her hands pulled at his clothes, trying her best to remove them.

For his part, Ben let himself be attacked. He was beyond happy that Rey was initiating some intimacy. He assisted Rey in removing his clothes before he set to work on hers. With their combined effort, they were naked in no time!

Ben continued to let her take the lead. Rey's mouth found his as she ground herself against his length. She relished teasing him while pleasing herself. She was chasing that high that came with an impending orgasm by just using his body to stimulate hers.

"Please," Ben begged against her lips with a whisper.

Rey pulled her mouth away from his and grinned down at him writhing in desperation to be inside her. "Do you think you've earned it?"

"Yes," he said before she even finished her sentence. "Yes yes yes." At this point, he was finished with letting her think she was in complete control. He was stronger! Ben used that strength to flip them over so that he was on top. "I've more than earned it. I've been so very good," he murmured against her lips before sealing the comment with a kiss.

Rey happily wrapped her legs around him, heels digging into his ass, as he slowly plunged into her. Their pace began slow with sweet kisses and whispered endearments, but as Ben picked up the pace words fell away and moans grew louder. As they both orgasmed together, for the first time, Rey wrapped her arms around his upper back and buried her face in his neck. Ben fisted the sheets on either side of Rey and strained to hold himself up so he wouldn't crush her.

He managed to find the strength to roll to one side but swiftly pulled her against him into an embrace. He held her tightly, possessively, as if he would never let go.

"You're making breathing hard. Loosen up a bit?" she asked with a content smile.

"Sorry," and he did. However, loosening his grip on his love gave him other ideas. He had missed being with her,  _this_  close to her, for so long that he wanted to keep giving her all his love...in physical form.

Ben began with kissing her mouth again, sucking on her lower lip, sliding his tongue there. His mouth found her earlobe next then made its way to her neck. Soon he was kissing, nipping, licking her breasts and nipples, causing her to start moaning all over again. He took his kisses lower, but before he could reach his destination Rey grabbed him by the hair quite painfully to stop him.

"What are you doing?!" she asked with a hint of panic.

"I'm going to continue your pleasure," he explained with a smirk. "Now, could you please let up on the hair. I don't mind a bit of pain with my pleasure, but that really hurts!"

She did as he asked but grabbed his shoulder as if to prevent him from paying his attention any lower. "But you-  _we_ \- putting your mouth  _there_  would be gross!"

Ben shrugged as best as he could. "I'm curious. I want to know what we taste like," he informed her. Rey's expression went from panic to disgust. "Don't worry, little scavenger, it's  _my_  tongue, and I think you'll enjoy this. I have been promising this to you for some time now... Just lie back and enjoy."

Rey stared at him a bit longer before finally giving in with a nod. How she saw it, if he wanted to be gross, that would be find with her! But, she was definitely going to make him finish what he started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, Ben's speech to the galaxy!
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> Ona is basically a commoner Star Wars version of Olenna Tyrell from Game of Thrones. Because, why not?! Gotta love those feisty matriarchs! :-)
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> Just got back from Disney. What a great experience! My son wore his Kylo costume the day we went to Hollywood Studios to visit all the Star Wars attractions. Because of this, the Stormtroopers were overly nice to him and addressed him as Supreme Leader. BB-8 and Chewie were reluctant to "meet" him, but since I was dressed Leia-ish they kept asking me to help bring him back to the light. I said I would try. Kylo, however, asked my son to join him. My son was a bit intimidated and made sure to keep me between Kylo and himself. At this, Kylo told him to not be afraid and to come back to learn the ways of the force. My son just said "ok" and headed for the exit.
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> After that we watched one of their shows that had lots of different characters in it- Darth Maul, Vader, Kylo, Chewie, Rey, etc. Afterwards we watched their little march back to the main building. Two Stormtroopers thanked my son as they walked by, Kylo stared him down in recognition, and Rey and Chewie gave him the stink-eye, well, as much as a Wookie can give stink-eye! But he was so excited to see them and enthusiastically waved at them that Rey couldn't help but to smile a bit a wave back.
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> He couldn't partake in the Jedi training due to being just under four-years-old, but the Jedi Masters said that they probably wouldn't have taken him on anyway because he looked like he may easily switch to the Darkside. So instead we watched and my son was sad to see Darth Vader and Kylo get defeated into a cave. So we had to go back to the stage show so that I could show him that they were ok.
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> Can't wait to go back and see everything once Galaxy's Edge is completed!
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> Ok. Now let's talk about how sweet that final picture of the trio is! I'm loving Rey's new hairstyle. Oscar looked like he was going to cry, and that was the cutest thing I've ever seen! I'm gonna miss those kids come December!


End file.
